the skunk of selfishness
Key Passage: 2 Timothy 3:1-2
Date: June 7, 2024
Turn your Bibles, if you would, to 2 Timothy chapter number three. Second Timothy chapter number three. Second Timothy chapter number three in God’s Word.
We have been on the subject of the home in the month of October Sunday mornings. The first Sunday we talked about God’s advice for a dysfunctional family. The second one in this series was “For Better or For Worse.” Last week, we discussed how to deal with conflicts. That’s just going to be a part of your life, whether you like it or not. And today, the skunk of selfishness, the skunk of selfishness.
For just a bit this morning, I look out and just saw a young man; I think he’s been sprayed by a skunk twice, if I remember right. He’ll understand the message real good. I see another young man; he’s in his 80s, but he got sprayed a couple years ago one time. Anyway, the skunk of selfishness for just a bit this morning. I do pray, honestly, I do pray that God would use this. I don’t want to just preach a good message that doesn’t help anybody. What’s the use of that? I’d love it if God would grow us in this area.
I’m going to try to go beyond just selfishness and how not to be selfish for a bit this morning. Pray with me that God will just use it. That’s what it’s all about: to help somebody and help a home in the process of it all.
Second Timothy chapter number three in your Bible. We’re going to read the first two verses. Would you please stand just to show the Word of God respect? We try to do that. It’s worthy of our respect, God’s Word. If it was just my words, your opinion is probably better than mine, but this is God’s Word. We like to focus on God’s Word. It’s really what matters in the end, and we’ll be judged by it one day. Second Timothy chapter three, if you’re there, would you say amen? Good deal.
Verse number one, the Bible says, “This know also that in the last days…” How many of you think we’re living in the last days? Oh, I think so. We don’t know the day or the hour. The Bible says that. If somebody starts giving you a date, just write them off. We don’t know the day or the hour. We can know the season. The Bible talks about it in First Peter; all the signs are there. Jesus said, “Behold, I come quickly.” You say, “Wait a second, a day?” He said that about 2,000 years ago. Yes, you’re right. But to the Lord, a day is a thousand years. You have to understand that sometimes. All the signs—we just did a study in March and April, I believe, about the end times—all the signs are there. It’s amazing. I believe we’re living in the last days. I don’t know when it may be. It may be five years. It may be 30 years. It may be longer. I don’t know. Maybe 100 years. But I believe we’re living right at the edge of this thing. It’s amazing.
I’ve thought about this lately: all the movies, a lot of them, the action-packed ones, seem to deal with the end of the world. It’s amazing how Hollywood is catching on to that. By the way, I often call it the “unholy world.” They are catching on that the end is coming pretty soon. Of course, we know what’s going to happen from the Bible, but we’ll save all that for another Sunday because somebody wants to get out of here sometime and go eat, right? We’ll be out of here by 2 p.m., I promise you.
But just think about that. He says, “This know also that in the last days”—that’s where we’re at—“perilous times shall come.” Perilous, rough, horrible, bad. Troublesome times, trials, perilous times.
Specifically, he gets down here talking about the moral decline. He lists 18 things that are declining—moral decay. We won’t read through the whole list. What I want you to get is the very first thing he says about these last days. What will they be like? Notice the first thing on this list of 18. Would you look at verse number two? He says, “For men shall be lovers of their own selves.” If you could put that in one word, maybe the best one-word definition would be selfish. They are lovers of their own self. It’s all about me, self.
Interesting, all the selfies we take. I’m not saying it’s a sin to take a selfie, but it’s very much self, me. He said, “For men shall be lovers of their own self.” I will go back to the selfies for just a second. Maybe someone is the only one, and they will get everything just right—their hair and all that. We are very much like that, just about me. “For men should be lovers of themselves.” We’ll just finish the verse for the sake of finishing: covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents—parents, you can say amen right there. Unthankful, unholy. Not all these are very important, but we’re going to focus on that very first one: “For men shall be lovers of their own selves,” just all about them.
Would you pray with me that God would not just give a good message, but that He would change us and grow us through this? Father, Lord, if I have a desire to preach a good message, Father, take that away. I don’t want that, Lord. Let somebody get helped, for that’s what it’s all about. Grow us, Father. Show us why sometimes we’re selfish. Show us the answer to it. Convict where need be and give hope that we can be more like You, Jesus. Father, would You send Your Spirit? Doing only You can, I yield to You in that, and we’ll thank You, Lord, for what You do. Father, we’re asking for this in the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Thank you so much for standing. You may be seated.
Over the years, we have had skunk problems in our church. I’m not talking about any individual, okay? I’m literally talking about skunk problems. We’re a country church, and there are trailers all over the place, and our trailers have had issues. This back one here—last year we had our school in there at the beginning of the school year—we got a skunk underneath the trailer. It was hard to convince parents, “Would you send your children to our Christian school? You have to pay for that, you know, and we don’t have federal funding. Would you send your children to our school and let them smell skunk all day?” That’s kind of a problem.
I remember years ago, we had a church cat hanging around here. I called her Henrietta. A lady who lived just down the street liked to feed cats, and she liked Henrietta. We would take care of Henrietta, but this lady made it her burden to feed the cat in the area. She would put bowls of cat food out on that back porch underneath the overhang. Cats like cat food, and skunks like cat food, too. We had every critter in the world around here. At one point, I had to trap a bunch of raccoons just to get rid of them. But skunks—I can deal with a raccoon, but if you shoot a skunk, they are going to spray all over the place. We had problems. I thought, what in the world can I do about it? I tried to say, “Hey, don’t feed him so much.” We had her fed. She loved that cat, but she wasn’t going to listen to me. She’d come to church sometimes, so you can’t be too mean. Finally, I said, “This is a lose-lose situation.” So I took Henrietta and said, “Hey, you have a brand-new cat. This is your cat now.” That’s how we got rid of the skunks. You took the cat home and stopped feeding all the skunks.
We’ve had skunks around here. The thing about skunks, even if they are not staying there, they leave this trail of stink. Man, you walk in that trailer back there—we’ve had them in Building B, Building C, all over the place—even if they are gone, there is that lingering stink. You try to make those buildings look good, paint the outside, paint the inside, everything first class, but they stink.
When we get selfishness in us in our relationships—whether it be in the home, or if you’re single and don’t have to worry about your marriage, or just in your relationships—when it gets all about us, me, me, lovers of selves, it begins to have a smell about it, a stink about it. You can have two wonderful people who are pretty good Christians in many ways. But you get those two people in that marriage, and they get selfish, and you will have a stink, a stench, come out of that thing. Just selfish.
There is an interesting story. Little Johnny was pulling Bobby, his cousin—a lot smaller—down the sidewalk in a wagon in front of Bobby’s house. Bobby’s mom popped out the front door and said, “Hey, Johnny, what are you doing?” He said, “Well, I’m pulling Bobby in the wagon. I’m trying to make him happy by pulling him in the wagon.” His aunt said, “Well, that’s pretty good. That’s very unselfish of you.” Only thing is, she looked back, and little Bobby was crying away. She said, “If you’re really trying to make him happy, you’re not doing a good job because he doesn’t want to ride in the wagon; he’s trying to get out.” Little Johnny said, “Yeah, but I want to pull him in the wagon, and I want to make him happy by pulling him.” You get that twist there? Are y’all awake out there? Sometimes, even in marriages, we do all these good things just for selfish reasons. It’s amazing how selfishness gives off a stench about it.
The Bible talks about this in the book of James. God says sometimes He won’t answer your prayers because your prayers are so selfish, and it’s all about you consuming it upon your own lust. God loves to hear the prayers of His people. The Bible says the prayer of the upright is His delight. But sometimes God says, “I don’t want to hear your prayers because it’s all about you getting what you want.” It’s the thing of selfishness. It will ruin a home. It will make a happy marriage a depressed marriage.
In our day and time, though, it is becoming a little bit of the thing. It’s the last days. This is interesting. I did not read the article; I don’t know what all it says, but the New York Times, January 5th of this year, had this headline: “The Benefits of Being Selfish.” Another article just says, “My 2023 Goals: It’s Time to Be Selfish.” That’s just another sign of the time. “In the last days, perilous times shall come. Men shall be lovers of their own selves.” Can I say this? Selfish people are never happy people. Even if you get what you want, after a while you want something else. It’s a temporary happiness; it doesn’t last. Selfish people are never, never happy people.
You heard about the little boy who was crying? He wanted something, and the babysitter who was there—even though his mom was home—said, “No, you can’t have that. That’s a valuable vase.” All that little boy wanted was that vase. His mom heard that and came out. She said, “What are you crying about?” He said, “I want that vase! I want that vase!” His mom, who was giving him anything, said, “All right, you can have that vase.” He crawled over there for a second, played with it, and then started crying again. Mom said, “What are you crying about? I gave you what you wanted.” He’s old enough to talk. It’s very interesting. He started crying, and this is what he cried: “I want something I can’t have.” Isn’t that amazing? Our nature. Our human nature.
Now here is the problem. These are kind of simple things, if you will. But how does a sinful human being like you and I, even our heart—we got our heart from Adam. Adam and Eve sinned and passed it down, so we have a sinful heart. We’re born in sin; Psalm 51 talks about that. How can a man or a lady with a sinful heart—Jeremiah 17 says the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked above all things; who can know it?—how can we, with a sinful heart, change from being selfish people to being unselfish people? I mean, I’m kind of messed up from day one. How in the world can I make myself not unselfish? Not unselfish—that’s a double negative, isn’t it? Anyway, you know what I’m saying. We’re in Tennessee; you’ve got to understand Southern, amen. How can I do it? Let me give a couple of things. Why are we becoming so selfish in our day and time? Let me give a couple of thoughts about that. Number one, let’s use the illustration right off the bat here.
We have Brother Frank and Brother Mike Arnold here. Brother Frank has been eating three good meals—breakfast, lunch, and supper—for a month. He’s full, he’s happy, he’s had plenty to eat. Now, Brother Mike behind him—Ms. Robin, I’m teasing—Brother Mike has not eaten anything in three days. He is starving to death. If you put an ink pen in front of him, he’s liable to eat it.
When they sit down to this meal together, as far as the food, which one do you think is going to be more tempted to be selfish over that food? Which one is going to be more tempted to say, “Hey, good to see you, whatever, but let’s eat”? Brother Frank is willing to sit down and talk and fellowship. Brother Mike is focused on eating. Let’s add a twist: let’s say there is only one plate in front of them. Who do you think is more apt to be selfish with that one plate?
Here is what I am getting at. We have a hole inside of our heart. We often call it a God hole. It is an emptiness, a void. We cannot fill it with anything else besides God. That is why some people are after it with drugs or alcohol or money or whatever. They are trying to fill that void, and nothing will ever fulfill it because only God can fulfill it. Revelation 4:11 tells us that we were and are created for Him. You are created to please Him, bring Him pleasure. That is what you are made for. If you are not doing that, you just do not feel satisfied or fulfilled. Nothing else will fill that void inside your heart besides God.
When people get saved, they are like, “Man, I’m so happy I’m saved! I feel fulfilled finally because God moved on the inside.” They got saved; they are a new creature in Christ, and everything is brand new. Old things have passed away because God is living inside them. They have peace. Praise the Lord, you get saved! I love to hang around young Christians; they are on fire for the Lord. They have a peace they never had, joy they never had. They are content and eager to do something for God. It is wonderful to see.
But, to be honest with you, we can drift. Even though we are still saved, the Holy Spirit will never leave, but the Holy Spirit can be pushed into a little corner of the heart. Though He is still inside you, sealing you to the day of redemption, you do not feel fulfilled. You do not have that peace anymore, and this hunger for something to satisfy you comes back.
Here is what I am getting at: Sometimes we are very selfish because we are expecting our husbands or our wives to fill that void inside of us, and we are expecting them to do something they can never do, because God is the only one that can do that. Sometimes we want to blame mom and dad and everybody else because I don’t have this or don’t have this. Really, the core, the root problem is we are not walking with God. We do not have peace from God, we do not have contentment from God. So we are trying to get it from everybody else, and everybody else cannot give us what we need. We need to get right with God so we do not take from everybody else, but can give to everybody else.
When a born-again Christian has backslid, they have not felt the presence of God, the peace of God, the joy of God for so long, and they are taking, taking, taking from everybody and blaming everybody else. The world says, “Wow, are Christians really that selfish?” They are not trying to be mean, but honestly, sometimes the root is we just need to get along with God and do business with God. Our temptation is to blame everybody horizontally, but the root problem is vertical.
I think about a situation a couple of weeks ago. A husband and wife were going through a stressful situation. They were bickering, and you could tell it. I would get with one, and they would complain about the other, and vice versa. The amazing thing is that one time in particular, they prayed together. I was shocked watching one of them afterward. They were a different person. They were forgiving, more lenient toward the other one, compassionate. This person tended to be harsh with words and have a hard appearance on the outside, but they became soft during this difficult time. As far as I understand, it wasn’t marital counseling, but they had gotten together and connected with God, and it changed the whole atmosphere of that individual.
Friends, sometimes people are just very selfish because they have not been getting from the Lord what only God can give to them. Can I say this about marriage? Are you with me out there? We have one more Sunday next week, and then we will change gears.
Sometimes we say, and I have said it before, “Marriage is 100/100.” I get that. Sometimes you do have to do that, and if you have to, you ought to—for better or for worse. But can I be honest with you? A good marriage, a healthy, normal marriage—and sometimes health things are not their fault—is not really 100 to 100. Emergencies, yes. But a good marriage is sometimes… if I am very busy, my wife may be putting out 70 or 60, and I am putting out 40 or 30. There was a couple of years when my wife had cancer. I would say she could not do a lot of things while going through chemo, surgery, and all those things. I maybe put in 60 or 70, and she was putting in the rest. That is a good marriage; that is a healthy, normal marriage.
Even if one individual is giving 95%, that person should continue on giving 95% or 100. But if one individual is always giving 95, and the other person has just gotten used to taking, taking, taking, taking, taking, it is not the idea of marriage, and it is not going to be what you want. If you have just one good Christian in the home, that can work. But what you want is where both are giving. If you get in a marriage where both are willing to give over and above, you have a wonderful marriage.
Look, we have vacuum cleaners that work part-time in our church here. Ms. Busho does a wonderful job cleaning. She can run that vacuum cleaner all over the place and push the power button 100 times, but if it is not plugged in, it will not do any good. You get marital couples that want to give to each other, but if you are not plugged into the Lord, you have people who are just selfish because they are so needy. You ought to try to give your spouse everything, but, friend, at the end of the day, sometimes you have to get along with God and get from God so you can give to your spouse.
Single people can be like that, and widows and widowers. If we are not careful when you are single, it becomes everything about you, and you do not want that because you are not going to be happy. When I learn to get from God what only God can give me that… I thought about a man years and years ago—I think the only one who doesn’t know what I am talking about is my wife—but we dealt with him years ago. He was very needy. It was always about him. Any conversation with him for over three seconds was going to turn to him. He was not a bad guy; he knew his Bible and was a pretty good Christian in many ways, but it was just about him, always about what he was doing for the Lord. It was always him, him, him, him. That is pretty tough for a spouse all the time.
I was amazed. He really began to walk with the Lord in a wonderful way. He got real close to the Lord, and I was shocked. That man who was just him, him, him, him became others, others, others. When he was really walking with God, it just changed his temperament. I feel like he was able to give, not just take, in his relationship with his kids and his wife. Friends, sometimes we are just selfish people because we are not getting from the true source.
The Bible says this: “Every good and every perfect gift is from above.” That is every good thing. Sometimes when I am not walking with God like I ought to be, I can become the most selfish guy in the world. That is my flesh. If I get along with God and get my needs met from God, I tend to focus on others more.
Number one: People are turning away from God, and God is the one thing that can give them what they need so they can give to others. Number two, a little similar but with a different twist: Look over in Psalm 23, the Shepherd Psalm. Look down in verse number four. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” What are the next five words? He says, even though I am going through this—the shadow of death—I will fear no evil. Why does he fear no evil? Because he is close to the Lord.
Is someone who is very fearful selfish at that moment? Oh, yeah. I think about the man who gave our first church van years ago. He had 32 cars in his yard. His insurance guy said if he didn’t get rid of some vehicles, he would cancel his insurance. That is how we got our first church van. Brother Allen bought a canoe, though he did not have any life jackets and could not swim. He and his son went down to the river, which had a swift current, and they flipped the canoe. The dad was drowning, and his son tried to rescue him, but his dad almost drowned him because he was fearful. When you are extremely fearful, you panic, and it becomes all about you. When you live as a fearful person, you become more and more about you, your survival. The answer to fear is getting close to your Shepherd: “For thou art with me.”
Years ago, Sarah had a sheep we named Snowball. Sheep can be very fearful. When there was a new dog in the neighborhood, Snowball was fearful. Sheep that are fearful too long will not eat; they will actually die. But it was always amazing: Snowball could be very fearful, yet when he came up to Sarah, his shepherd, and got close to her, the fear dissipated, and he got peace.
Many times we are selfish because we are living in fear—doomsday is coming, the news, the economy. News sells fear, friend. If I live in this fearful state, you know what I become? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And you are going to take, take, take, take, take. God’s people ought to be givers. So what do I do? Get close to your Shepherd, get in His Word. “Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.”
Why are we becoming so selfish? Number one: We have not had our needs met by the Lord. Number two: We are living in fear instead of getting close to the Shepherd. Number three: Look over in Galatians 2 quickly. Galatians 2, look in verse number 20. “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”
Sometimes we are just plain old selfish because our flesh is abounding in our life. We have not crucified our flesh. We all have a unique flesh. Some people are born more selfish than others. Maybe we grew up being the center of attention. Maybe we were abused, which brings a new blend to our flesh of selfishness. You say, “What do I do to overcome that flesh?” The only answer is having your flesh crucified.
You are in Galatians 2:20. Look over in Galatians chapter 5, verse number 24. The Bible says, “And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” Sometimes I see it in myself. I just get focused on me: what people are saying about me, what they are thinking about me, what they are doing for me, how they make me feel. My flesh gets a mile long. I say, “Man, I know what I need to do. I need my flesh to be crucified.” I hope you monitor when you are getting selfish.
I was talking to Ms. Marie Strickland yesterday. She has a bad back, and it was starting to bother her. She said, “Pastor, I don’t know if I can finish making breakfast for us on Saturday morning.” As we talked about her back, I could feel it inside of me; I wanted to turn it about my back. I thought, shame on me. My flesh wanted to turn it into my back.
Friend, we all have this flesh—it is about me, me, me. Maybe you need to monitor how much you are giving in your marriage instead of what your parents are doing for you. When I see it in me, it is just all about Paul, Paul, Paul. I know I need to crucify my stinking flesh.
Here is the problem: You cannot crucify yourself. You cannot nail yourself to the cross. So how can I get rid of my stinking selfishness? The Bible tells us in Galatians 5: “They that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh.” That is when you go back to Jesus and say, “I’ve got to give myself to You.” I am giving the hurt I am feeling to You, my reputation to You, my car, my truck, my house, the church, my kids, my feelings—I give it all to You again. I want to give it to You. “They that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh.” It is like Jesus gets up on the cross with you, and He says, “Come on.” Then Galatians 2:20 comes to life: “I am crucified with Christ. Nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.” When Jesus is living in you, people say something is different about them.
Jesus said, “I didn’t come to be ministered to; I came to minister.” That wraps up His life right there. “Who loved me, and gave himself for me.” When you get crucified with Christ, it begins to live through you. It is not about what everybody is doing to you; it is about what you can give to others. That is when they say, “They got Jesus in them.”
I want to get rid of the skunk in my life. I’d like to be more like You, Jesus. Many hands were raised. If you see that you need to get from God more, realize you need more of your Shepherd. When I see that I need to be crucified, I’m going to give myself to Christ again. I’m going to look to Jesus. When I get selfish, I’m not getting to Christ like I ought to. When I see that in myself, I’m going to go to Jesus and give myself to Him. If that’s you this morning, do your best to get to Him and give yourself to Him fresh and new.
If you hear this morning and have never accepted the most unselfish thing that’s ever been done—Jesus going to the cross for you—you must accept it by faith. Preacher, I’ve never officially accepted what Jesus did on the cross as my way to heaven. I need to accept that unselfishness of Jesus. That is the first step of making Him your Shepherd. If that is you this morning, lift your hand. I need to accept Jesus and His unselfishness on the cross as my way to heaven.
If you raised your hand on those first two points, I’m going to ask you to come down to an old-fashioned altar and give yourself to Christ again. “They that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh.” Give Him everything. If you just prayed and asked Jesus to be your Savior, there will be a man standing down front, and a man in the back. Go and shake his hand. He will explain more about what you did and give you literature.
Let’s all stand, if you would, please. Father, give us boldness to do what You are tugging at our hearts to do. Help us to be obedient. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen. Would you come? If you prayed and asked Jesus to be your Savior, go shake the hand of the man in the back or the man down front. They just want to explain to you what He has given you. Others, come to the altar. Give yourself to Christ. It is wonderful when you know Jesus is living through you. If you let me out of church, I will do all that. Amen. We will be back tonight at 6 o’clock. Choir, you did a fantastic job this morning. I love you. Looking forward to seeing you back tonight at 6 o’clock.
Original File: Pastor Paul Chisgar - The skunk of selfishness - Sunday AM 10222023