# Deal with it

Key Passage: Psalm 62:7-8
Date: June 7, 2024

Turn your mind, if you would, to Psalms chapter 62, Psalms, chapter 62 in God’s Word. We are going to go to our second part of a series, just a short series, dealing with baggage. Last Sunday, Brother David Humphers did a wonderful job talking about our founding fathers and the Christian heritage and the covenant we’ve made with the Lord. I found him fathers did a great job on it. So we missed last week on this series. We’re going to get back to it. I don’t mind missing a week or two because typically we’re dealing with very heavy subjects. I don’t mind a little break in the midst of it all. I have really… maybe struggled a little bit this morning exactly what God wants me to say and how He wants to say it, but I believe He wants to deal with these things.

In our day and time, these problems are so much more prevalent. Well, they really maybe always have been. There’s more out in the light, maybe I should say. I’m not sure about that. But even talk about molestation. Look at the numbers of a girl that is 18 and the percentage—just amazing. Of course, it’s according to which website you go to what numbers you get. But that’s not the only thing; major problems are very prevalent in our day and time. Dealing with that baggage as you come into adulthood or marriage and all these things—two Sundays ago we dealt with what we called “walking in the land of triggers.” We discussed that. If you weren’t here that Sunday morning, you can go back and watch it on YouTube, and that would be great. But this morning, the subject is “Deal with it. Deal with it.”

We’re going to start over here in Psalm 62. We’re going to read two verses. It’ll be a bit, but we’ll get back to it a little bit later on in the message. So don’t say, “Well, he’s not even covering it.” We’ll cover it a little bit later on here in the message.

Psalm 62. During announcements, my lapel mic was cutting out, or at least that’s what they say. I think Brother Josh was tired of hearing me and was muting me. We’ll see what happens during the message. They gave me this, and it has like a three-hour battery life, so we’re good, amen.

This is a great book in the Bible, really dealing with emotions. It is just behind the scenes of a Christian’s life—a wonderful book of the Bible. Psalm 62. Look at verse number seven, if you would, please. Psalm 62:7. “In God is my salvation and my glory.” By the way, that’s the salvation of your soul, your eternal salvation. Sometimes it’s the salvation of your situation, just the salvation going on in your life. “In God is my salvation and my glory. The rock of my strength and my refuge is in God.” Wonderful. Look at verse number eight: “Trust in him at all times.” Notice, at all times. Even when your spouse doesn’t do the right thing. Even when you grew up in a home where Dad walked out. “Trust in him at all times, ye people.” This is very vital, I believe. It’s a key part: “Pour out your heart before him.” God is a refuge. You need a refuge when you’re going through it. God is a refuge for us. Selah, just think about it, for I dwell on him. There’s a lot there in what he’s trying to say. I want you to kind of think on that for a while.

Would you pray with me that God would help us maybe deal with things in our life, and maybe not just you, but maybe someone you know? Would you pray that God works in our hearts as I pray this prayer? Now, Lord, I come to you. Lord, you know better than I, of course, but all the wounds that are represented today and the hurts and pain—just amazing. Lord, you know, I can be overwhelmed at all the different situations. I thank you, Lord, you’re our refuge. You can handle every one of them. You promise if we love you and serve you, you can bring good out of it, even. Lord, help us today. Help us to grow in wisdom in handling these issues as you want us to. Father, you’re the only one that can heal, and you came to heal the brokenhearted. So we come to you this morning, and would you use this morning to help and to heal many people? Lord, we’ll thank you for it. Lord, I do pray maybe you would salvage some marriages, and do it only you can. I can’t do all that, Lord, but you can. Father, we’re coming in faith because we’re asking for these things in the name of Jesus. We’re praying, Lord, in Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

Two weeks ago, we used this illustration, and I’m going to do it again just to get us all on board. It is just an old tube, before. One side is painted. I stole it out of her garage. I don’t know what it’s painted for, but it’s painted on that side. Couldn’t find any other one. This side’s just blanket. It has one indentation on it. We’re going to do another just for the sake of illustration. Hopefully, the pastor doesn’t miss. I never mess up, folks, never, ever. So let’s see what happened. Just a piece of wood, an old framing hammer, a 22-ounce hammer, and we’ll see what happens with this thing here.

We did this two weeks ago, but it left a permanent indentation in this wood. Sometimes life brings major trauma, major issues, and it will leave a mark on you really for life. God can bring healing, but it’s going to make an indentation in you. I said this two weeks ago, but typically the younger you are, the softer the wood. You understand? The more pliable, the more the indentation. That’s why your growing-up years are so vital—what happened in your life. That’s why godly parents are so wonderful. But you have trauma in your life, and it has its impact. It could be, as we’ve already mentioned, abuse—physical, mental, or emotional abuse, or sexual abuse. These things have a bearing on someone’s life in a great way. It could be your spouse or your former spouse. Maybe your spouse cheated on you. It could be you were raised by someone who didn’t raise you to grow up and live for the Lord. That’s why parents ought to raise children for themselves, and sometimes a kid has to be the parent pretty young. Those things happen, and they can really have a bearing on your life. It could be someone passed away in your family very young—a death of a mom or a dad or a sibling. I think of someone in our church whose sibling passed away young, and it has a bearing on them today. All these things leave an indentation in your life. They are major trauma. They affect you in some way. Now, you win over it, but they affect you for life.

Let me give you two extremes that are the wrong way to handle it. One extreme that happens sometimes is you spend the rest of your life being a victim. You spend the rest of your life excusing sometimes sinful behavior because of what happened in your childhood. That is a wrong extreme. Yes, it does have a bearing on your life, but it doesn’t give you an excuse. We have people in America who will go burn down buildings because of something that happened to their great-grandfather. Now, things affect you, but friend, you don’t want to be a victim for the rest of your life, thinking nobody knows how bad you have it. Yes, it affects you, but friend, you can win over that. Your life becomes a constant pity party, and sometimes you are always using it to get, get, get, get, get, and manipulate things you want. It’s a sad, sad thing. No matter how life ends up, it never makes up for what happened in your past.

Look, if you will, very quickly over at Proverbs 15:15. Proverbs 15:15 is a very interesting verse to me. I think this is a great description in the Bible of a victim mentality for life. Proverbs 15:15. Once you are there, would you say amen? Good deal. You are there. That’s great. Some of you are still turning there. That’s all right, too. I love to see young people turn to their Bible pages. That’s a good thing. Proverbs 15:15. Right there he says, “All”—notice that—“all the days of the afflicted are evil.” Not just the day they got afflicted, but all the days of the afflicted are evil if you let that be your identity all your days. But watch this: “But he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.” Can I note that it doesn’t say anything about the situation or circumstances changing? It just talks about a merry heart. Isn’t that interesting? We’ll get back to our text here in a minute. Pour out your heart. He says, talking about a merry heart having a continual feast. So one extreme over here: I just use whatever circumstance happened in my life—notice I keep saying that—I use it for the rest of my life to justify, to get sympathy, to play the pity party. I always have the pity card out, the sympathy card, using it. But that’s one extreme that is wrong when dealing with major trauma in our life. Do we get that point? Okay?

Now let’s go to the other side. Another extreme way of dealing with these things that are wrong is when I spend my life really living in denial that this happened. I just try to sweep it under the rug and get past it as quickly as I can. If I do that, so often I’m deceiving myself that that didn’t bother me, that didn’t hurt. Friend, when some of these major things happen, it does hurt, and you are not less of a person if it does hurt. You’re human. A healthy human will hurt. That is also a wrong extreme.

Here’s the sad thing: If I just sweep it under the rug, I never really deal with it. Typically, you are doomed in some way to repeat it. That’s a very sad thing. You realize—and you can check the statistics—if a girl grows up in a home where her dad is an alcoholic, she has a pretty good chance of marrying an alcoholic. If I live in denial, there’s a good chance I’ll repeat and pass down to the next generation that hurt if I just say, “Let’s move on. Nothing ever happened.” Typically, you don’t have proper healing.

I was going to talk about this a little later on, but my wife and Ms. Tabitha—they both work at the Wound Care Clinic at Stonecrest Hospital. Often a wound will try to heal over, especially in the midsection, your belly area. It’ll heal over when you still have infection in there, and it’s not going to heal properly. The doctor will say, “We’re going to have to lance that; we’re going to have to open that back up because there’s infection in there, and it’s healed over.”

Look over in Proverbs 18, verse number eight. Proverbs 18:8. “The words of a talebearer are as wounds.” Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words would never hurt me? Not true. The words of a talebearer are as wounds; they go down into the innermost parts of the belly. Sometimes we kind of leave it open for it to heal from the inside out, and that’s very important. So sometimes I just say, “Well, I live in denial. That didn’t bother me. I’m such a super Christian that didn’t bother me.” You are trying to close up the wound when there’s still a lot of infection going on inside.

Here’s another sad thing about this extreme: If you have major trauma in your life, it’s going to come out some way. It may come out with you losing it and going off on the people you love. It may come out with you being a loner, closing off to your spouse and everybody else, but it’s going to come out in some way, friend. If it doesn’t come out the right way with the Lord at the foot of the cross, it usually comes out in a hurtful way to those you are closest to—the people you love the most. That’s often why they say, “Hurt people, hurt people.”

It is very important that I don’t go to this extreme where I live the rest of my life trying to justify my lifestyle, but it’s also very important that I don’t live over here just living in denial that nothing ever happened. Major trauma did happen, and it needs to be dealt with.

Now, here’s what we want. If we’re living in a perfect world, here’s what we want: healing by the grace of God. You realize that’s the only one that can heal. You go to the doctor, they’ll stitch up a wound or a cut, but that doctor can’t heal it up. The doctors can cut away dead skin around a major wound so it can heal, but the doctor can’t make it heal. The Lord does that. God will use a lot of different things to do that. God will use a lot of great, biblical, and godly, wise men and ladies to help you along the journey. But even after all that, God brings healing. That’s what we are after.

Here’s the temptation: Sometimes we lean toward the extreme where we don’t deal with this major wound because it looks pretty good to everybody else. We put that outside where we look good, but we have a lot of infection inside. If it’s not dealt with, sometimes years later, when you get married, have children, or have close relationships, it begins to manifest. It’s very important that we get it out.

Sometimes, how many have seen someone just after surgery? They’ve sewed them up, but they have that drain tube, and you make the mistake of seeing the bag that the drain tube goes to. This is part of healing when it comes to wounds. Sometimes adjustments are necessary after wounds. Most of you know I lost my fingers in an accident years ago. Literally, I had this part of my finger—this finger was out about here on that middle joint. My finger got cut off. I lost all of my thumb. A thumb is so important for picking up anything. For a long time, I was picking up things like scissors, but that gets old mighty quick.

They gave me a couple of options. One doctor said he could take my big toe and put it on for a thumb. That was one option. They could have taken that ray out and tried to deepen my web, but that would give me a narrow grip. So we agreed the night of the accident that they took that part of my finger and sewed it to my thumb. For about a month, it was sewed together with pins holding it all together, getting supplied with blood from this part of my hand while it was healing right here. Then they pulled skin up around there—a skin graft from my leg. A month later, they had another surgery and cut that finger off. This part of my finger is now on my thumb, and it gives me a thumb that still functions. Sometimes after major trauma, there are adjustments to your life that are necessary. How do we deal with it so we can move on?

Let me give a couple of thoughts along that line. We’re going to be done. Look back over in Psalm 62. Look at verse number eight. “Trust in him at all times, ye people.” Here’s the key: “Pour out your heart before him.” That is very, very key. I want you to notice it is not like an accidental pouring out. It is on purpose, intentional. He is saying pour your heart out to the Lord. That is so very vital in dealing with trauma in my life. You do that on purpose. It is very important that you do it, not just to people the Lord leads you to do it to. Seek the Lord’s leadership in that. Pour your heart out to the Lord.

Look, if you will, over in Jeremiah 17. Jeremiah 17, this is a verse about our hearts. Look at verse number nine. Jeremiah 17:9. Let’s see what the Bible says about our hearts. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things.” Wow. You said, “Pastor, is that your heart?” Yep. “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it?” Not only that, that’s your heart, but then you add a major wound in your heart. When you are about to drown, you do a lot of crazy things. But notice the next verse. He says, “I, the Lord, search the heart. I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways and according to the fruit of his doings.” It is very important that you learn, on purpose, because half the time we don’t even know what’s going on in our hearts. We don’t know why we react the way we do. As I pour my heart out to the Lord, He is the one that can teach me about my heart like nobody else can. Sometimes we are not totally honest about things. Why do we slant things this way or that way? If you learn, and I learn, to pour my heart out to the Lord, He is so good at showing us what is going on there. You need to do that. It is vital. By the way, the Lord knows what is going on in your heart anyway. You know the pastor over there in the book of Samuel: Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the what?

I remember years ago having a couple in my office. They were trying to get in church and live for the Lord, but they had major issues from their past and major wounds. I remember the wife just really wouldn’t open up to her husband, or to me, it seemed like, not to the Lord. She had major wounds; I think she had scars on her legs from where her parents had put their cigarettes out on her legs. You have layers of wounds, and they are very common. She wouldn’t open up and pour her heart out. I said, “You are like a kid trying to hide behind a little bitty bush; that little bit of tree is not going to hide you.” The Lord sees your heart. So open up your heart, pour your heart out to the Lord. He can help you with these major wounds in your life.

Number one: Really work at it. It’s going to take work. Sometimes you’re going to say, “Lord, I don’t want to hear it because what’s going on in my heart is bad, it’s ugly. I have some bitterness in there, I have some hard feelings.” By the way, if you’ve been through major trauma, you are going to have stages of those things. It’s part of it, but don’t camp out there. You are going to have to work at putting away bitterness, wrath, anger, and clamoring. It’s part of your healing, and it’s part of those necessary steps. To learn to pour it out, you’ve got to work at that.

Number two: Admit you were wronged and hurt. Remember what Jesus said? When He said, “Father, forgive them,” He was admitting their wrong. They were hurting Him; they were wounding Him. You cannot forgive for something wrong that happened to you until you admit it was wrong. We have a man in our church whose dad would literally beat him up when he was a boy because he wanted to be a tough boxer. His dad would make him say afterward, “Thank you, Dad.” My friend, you have to admit that was dead wrong. You cannot go to the level of moving on and forgiving if you don’t admit that was wrong.

Admit you are hurt. We have alluded to this, but sometimes we think there is this Bible verse: Psalm 119:165, “Great peace have they which love thy law, and nothing shall offend them.” In Christian society, we think if nothing offends you, nothing hurts your feelings. No, that’s not what “offend” means. If you are a normal, healthy, breathing human being, you are going to get hurt by things. You love deep, you hurt deep. That is part of life. Biblically, “offend” means when it becomes a stumbling block where it stops you. Jesus said if your eye offends you—if it stops you from getting saved—it would be better to remove your eye and go to heaven. Biblically offending means it stops you from living for the Lord because of what someone did. But it does not mean you do not get hurt. You are going to hurt. Jesus had emotions; Jesus wept. That is healthy. So, admit you are wrong and admit you are hurt. That’s all right.

Number three: When needed, allow yourself to grieve the loss. Maybe it is a loved one who went home early, or a young lady who has to grieve the loss of purity. Part of the healing process is grieving that loss. Jesus said in the Beatitudes, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Sometimes you have to realize, “Hey, that wasn’t right for my dad to do that.” You grieve the loss of having a perfect home. Healing for major trauma sometimes has to do with grieving, not so you can spend the rest of your life making excuses, but so you can heal and deal with the rest of your life and others properly. You don’t get the comfort until you go through the mourning.

Number four: Admit how it has affected other people in your life. If a mom was molested by a teenage boy when she was young, and she has a teenage son, it is probably going to greatly affect how she deals with him. If he says, “That girl’s cute,” she might take that as a federal offense. You have to deal with these things and realize what is going on. If your dad belittled you in front of people, and your wife says something trying to have fun, you might get mad and mistreat her. You need to admit those things. Part of it is admitting how it affects others through you.

Number five: Find a wise person that the Lord directs you to. That is very key. Ask the Lord to guide you in that. Trust those that have proven you could trust them. Trust those that are not after their agenda, but after your healing. Trust those the Lord has led you to. Trust those who are not trying to look good to everybody in the world, but are trying to help you heal. Usually, dealing with these things requires help. Typically, the devil has used someone else to bring that indentation into your life, and the Lord will use someone to help you heal and get the infection out of your life. Seek the Lord concerning that. Let the Lord lead you and guide you in that.

Now we have to wind it all down. I’m going to tell one story, and then we are done. I know it’s a heavy subject this morning, but I believe the Lord would have us cover these subjects for a couple more Sundays. I think of years ago, a young man in our church, a good young man, maybe about 20 years old. He had had a major trauma one night in his life—a very sad situation. He had been to counselors and all that, and it was an overwhelming thing affecting his life. I said, “Brother, would you find somewhere away from everybody, everything? And would you go back through that whole night? Would you relive it?” It’s going to be tough to do. Sometimes you can’t get past something until you go through something. I said, “Brother, would you do that? But while you are reliving every part of that night, I want you to tell the Lord how you felt about that. If it’s ugly, if it’s mean, if it’s hateful, if it’s bitter, I want you to tell the Lord about it. He knows what’s in your heart anyway. I want you to go through the whole night telling the Lord every bit of the night. I want you to relive that night while pouring your heart out to the Lord.” Praise the Lord, he did that. I’m not saying his life is perfect, but he is married now, has a child now, and as far as I know, he is doing pretty good now. He says, “Pour your heart out before the Lord.”

It’s a journey the Lord takes you on. The Lord takes you on the journey, and there may be so many more things I never mentioned, so many more layers that I could not or did not mention. But the Lord is a master healer, and He can take you on that journey like nobody else. A key part is us pouring our heart out to the Lord. God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Would you bow your heads and close your eyes, please? If you are there, maybe you hear this morning and say, “Preacher, there are some things I think I need to deal with. For whatever reason, I’ve just kind of swept it under; I’ve buried it.” Buried feelings don’t always die. I feel like I need to deal with some things in my life, and the Holy Spirit is leading me in that. I’m going to do my best by God’s grace to deal with some things in my life. If that’s you this morning, just lift your hand up: “Preacher, I have some things I need to deal with in my life.” God bless you. That is vital. Our purpose in that is so we can have proper healing, so we can have healthier relationships.

Maybe you hear this morning and say, “Preacher, I think I’ve been going to the other extreme. I’ve been using it as an excuse in my life, trying to justify my things. I don’t want to live there. I’m using it to justify my wrong lifestyle, and God spoke to my heart about that.” If that’s you this morning, heads bowed and eyes closed, just slip your hand up. God bless you. Thank you for letting God work.

I did not mention salvation like I typically do in the message. But can I say this? God loves this messed-up, wounded world so much He gave His Son, and He shed His blood on an old rugged cross to pay for the sins of this messed-up world. If you come to Jesus, you accept Him as your Savior and Him alone, you can go to a perfect world again with the Lord Jesus Christ, live with Him forever in heaven, because He loves your soul. If you hear this morning, you’ve never been to Jesus Christ for your salvation, I beg of you: it’s a messed-up world, but heaven is not going to be messed up like this. You can have a wonderful home in heaven, bypass hell, and have sins forgiven. You can go to a wonderful place called Heaven with the Lord Jesus Christ where there is healing, health, joy, and peace for all eternity. If you hear this morning and say, “Preacher, I’ve never been saved. I need to accept Jesus Christ as my only way to heaven, my Savior. I need to get saved.” If that’s you this morning, would you just lift your hand? I need to get saved. I want to make sure I’m going to heaven. I want to go to heaven and have that wonderful, perfect world again. If that’s you, just slip your hand up. God would be thrilled to help you this morning.

Maybe you have someone you are burdened about this morning, and you want to come pray for them. Would you do that? Maybe you want to come pray, “Lord, help me to deal with this thing. Maybe I don’t want to use it as an excuse for the rest of my life.” Would you come spend some time praying and seeking the Lord? Maybe you would come to an old-fashioned altar here just a moment. Would you please stand? We will all stand. We will have a word of prayer. As soon as we are done praying, there will be an invitation song. Would you come? Pray for that one you love. Pray for that grandchild, that niece, that nephew, that neighbor. Would you come spend some time praying for them, yourself, and for others? Would you do that? Lord, thank you for your goodness. Lord, in this messed-up world, I am so grateful that you can handle it. Thank you, Jesus, for leaving heaven and coming down here to heal the brokenhearted, the bruised. Thank you, Jesus. Lord, I pray you use the invitation to be a part of that. Bless our people. Give us boldness to be obedient to you and your leadership. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

Would you come spend some time to the Lord as we sing? “Just as I am, without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me…” He is the one who can heal the brokenhearted. He is the one who can heal that infection. He is the one who brings healing. His blood can cleanse each spot. He left heaven to come down here to help and to heal. He is a Comforter. He is going to bring healing to that wound. It is so key to bring your heart out before the Lord. God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Hey, don’t say, “We’re almost done.” Don’t do that. The Lord is working in your heart. Let’s be obedient. Let’s come to the foot of the cross. Give place to wrath, Romans 12 says, at the foot of the cross. Let the Lord work in your heart and deal with the situation. Would you come to the Lord as we sing?

It’s amazing how Jesus can heal. For years, some people would keep the names of those who hurt them and go to bed thinking about them. It was a long journey of God’s healing, but they told me they cannot remember the names anymore. They are forgetting all those things. For years, they just had it in them: “I was going to get them back.” Only Jesus can do that. He can bring healing. He is amazing. Just pour your heart out to the Lord. You serve an amazing God, and He is a mighty God. He can do wonders, even in us messed-up people, amen. And he’s a wonderful, wonderful God.

Original File: Deal With It - Pastor Paul Chisgar- Dealing with baggage Sunday AM 07092023