# Having Healthy Relationships

Key Passage: Ephesians 5:18-21
Date: June 7, 2024

Turn your Bibles, if you would, Ephesians chapter number five. Tonight, Ephesians chapter number five, we’re changing from the study of the life of Moses. We’re going to talk about healthy relationships tonight, kind of in honor of Valentine’s Day. Healthy relationships, whether you’re married or not. You say, I’m a widow, a widower, and whatnot, and I’m going to get married again. You still have relationships. And healthy relationships tonight.

The context here is really getting to marriage, but even after marriage, the last part of chapter 5, Ephesians talks about marriage, and then chapter 6 talks about children. Of course, the marriage relationship, then the parent-children relationship, and then later on in that chapter, chapter 6, it talks about employee-employer relationship, so it’s really just relationships going on.

And kind of the beginning of it all here in Ephesians chapter number five where we’re at.

Anyway, Ephesians chapter number five in God’s word tonight. And we’re going to start in verse number 18. Ephesians 5 and verse number 18. Would you please stand as I read God’s word together?

We’re in Ephesians 5. Look at verse number 18, if you would, please. Ephesians 5:18.

“And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit.”

There’s so much there, but I just want to kind of show you, and you’ve heard it, many of you, the comparison here of a drunk man to a Holy Spirit-filled man. And that drunk man is controlled by another substance. He’s under the influence. And a Spirit-filled Christian is controlled by someone else. They’re under the influence of the Holy Spirit of God. That’s the comparison there. Now, yes, being drunk is wrong and sinful and all that’s for sure. But the point we’re trying to get after is just being Spirit-filled; you’re controlled by the Spirit of God.

Looking at verse number 19, notice what is—well, last part of verse number 18, let me feel with the Spirit. Notice there’s not a period there. It’s a semicolon. I understand that the original translation, whatnot, it wasn’t there, the punctuation, but it’s very, very helpful and very insightful to look at that. So a continuation of the thought, if you will.

Then look at verse number 19, “speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.” By the way, what are you speaking to yourself? He’s not necessarily yet talking about singing, he’s talking about speaking right now. What are you speaking to yourself? Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.

Now it goes on, “singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.” Praise the Lord, it’s not everybody else because some of us will have a tough time of that, you know. But to the Lord, amen.

But notice, a Spirit-filled person, they’re speaking to themselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. They’re singing to make a melody in their hearts to the Lord. Notice at the end of that, not a period, but a semicolon, a continuation of this being filled with the Spirit: “giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

We are so prone to complain, and maybe if not complaining with my tongue, I am in my heart. I’m not filled with the Spirit when I do that. Because being filled with the Spirit, part of it, you’re speaking to yourselves in the psalms and singing to make a melody in your hearts to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things.

Now, look at verse number 21, verse number 21 right there. This is really going to be our key verse here. He’s about to get to the relationships. But notice what he says here. It’s a continuation of this thing in being filled in the Spirit. He says, “submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” Then he goes on about marriage: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

By the way, Hollywood doesn’t like that, but Hollywood, you know, their philosophy—they love one another and another and another and another. You understand, you know. So God knows what He is doing here. “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything.”

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.” By the way, is the church perfect? Far from it, friend, far from it. But does Christ love it? You better believe it. Does Christ browbeat us and down us and try to push us and, you know, maybe, what’s the word I’m looking for? Love you sometimes and not love you at other times according to what you’re doing? No, it’s unconditional love. And that’s why we’re to love our wives. That’s what the Bible’s telling us there.

But I really want us to focus on that verse number 21. I believe the Lord would have us focus tonight. Let’s go back to that one. And would you read that one out loud with me tonight? I’ll say the reference. And then if you just read it out loud with me, all right, here we go. Ephesians 5:21: “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”

If you’re going to have healthy relationships, this is key. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Healthy relationship. Just for a bit, let’s focus on that subject.

And that verse number 21, let’s read it one more time out loud together. Would you please, verse number 21 right there, here we go: “Submitting yourselves one to another.”

Now, I want you to notice one word here for just a minute. We’re going to focus on one word out of that: “yourselves.” You said, what in the world is that guy doing up there? Trying to be a snake. Trying to emphasize yourselves. Plural. In other words, both are submitting. In a good relationship, both are submitting. In a healthy relationship.

Yes, yes, I know, and we mentioned it, and we preached on it, we don’t shy away from that. Yes, I understand if it comes down to it and they’re not in agreement, whatnot, and we ask, the wife submit to the husband. We understand all that. And I’m not—that’s biblical, that’s right. We’ll just stay with the Bible on that. But before that, submitting yourselves.

Now, let’s put it in shoe leather. Let’s be honest. For us guys, at least for me, when I go out to eat, I’m not really too concerned myself about the atmosphere. I want good food for a good price. Is that good preaching a while there? Man, if you can find $12 all-you-can-eat with good food, it’s on like Donkey Kong. Let’s go. Come on now.

It doesn’t have to have candles. It can be a little loud. It can be bright. It can be a little bit dark. I mean, don’t hold it against me too much. But it can even be a touch dirty as long as the food is good and it’s a good price. It’s all—anybody out there with me now? Come on now. That’s just me. I mean, come on. Let’s eat, you know. I mean, that’s just the way it is. You know, I mean, that’s what I want. That’s what I’m there for. Let’s eat, you know. And we’re going to eat. That’s what I’m thinking, you know.

But my wife, she’s not feeling well tonight. Or ladies in the room, that’s—you know, they want good food, but that’s almost like second nature. You know, the second thing, they want a good atmosphere. They want to come in there and there’s some soft music playing, and it’s a little darker, you know, maybe some candlelight, and the waiter or waitress is very kind and polite. And it just, it just—and if you can get a booth, you can get in a booth where you kind of head back in there a little bit out of the way, you know, leave something like that. And just there’s a—if there’s a little fireplace going, a little—what are they called?—ambiance going or something, you know, even if it’s, you know, just—I mean, just the atmosphere.

Now, ladies, is this true or not? Some of you, yeah, yeah, you know. Now, food is good. And, you know, if it’s not good, okay, it’s a negative, but that atmosphere. Now, you know, okay, it was like just overly expensive. Well, you know, all right, it’s a little bit of a downer, but, you know, that’s down the list, you know. If there’s a real sweet, kind—just the atmosphere, you walk in there, and you just kind of feel relaxed, and you feel like it’s just a classy place. It’s just enjoyable to be there. You just feel good being there, and then they bring out a good meal, you know.

And so here’s what happens. In a healthy relationship, sometimes it happens, I should say, in a healthy relationship: Well, she’s been thinking about him. She knows what he wants. He wants good food for a good price, you know. And she has been thinking about him, and so she even found a coupon. I mean, she’s got a coupon, you know. Okay, 2024, you ain’t going to find $12 all-you-can-eat good food. $15, you know, that’s good nowadays, you know, it’s good food, you know. And she’s even cut a coupon out. She’s got it ready to go. Friday night’s coming, and she’s, “I’m going to—he’s going to be happy because it’s going to be good food at a good price.” Yes, they’re a little loud in there because they’re all about getting people in there, feeding them good food, and getting them out. You know, I’m going to just shuffle them through. They make more money like that, and, you know, and she’s going to make it a nice night for him.

But he has been thinking about her. And he’s been saving up a little bit. He’s been working a little extra overtime. Praise the Lord for time and a half. Somebody saved me right there. If you get double time, I mean, that’s like the promised land right there. Come on now, you know. That’s just like glory land, you know. And he’s thinking, “I’m going to make it a nice night for her.” And he’s already—he’s made arrangements at The Melting Pot. Some of you might know that as called the melting wallet, you know, that’s what your men call it, you know. And you go in there, and they got it a little dark in there and just soft music playing in there and candlelight in there. And they put that in that booth there, you know, it’s just you and your spouse. And the guy’s like, “What? I’m paying all this money and have to cook my own food?” You know, they had the fire there, you know. But oh, it creates a good atmosphere for her.

And so he’s been thinking about her. And they’re getting close. “What are we going to do Friday night?” And she said, “Well, I’ve got something to surprise you with.” And she pulls out that coupon. And he says, “Well, I was planning on—I wanted to make a nice night for you.” See?

Would he rather go—would he rather go and eat all he could eat for $15 worth of good food? You better believe that’s what he would prefer. Would she prefer to go to The Melting Pot where it’s got a great atmosphere and good food and you just enjoy it all the time? She would much rather that, but they’re submitting themselves to one another. Now, friend, that’s a healthy relationship. That’s what you’re after. That’s what you want in your relationships: submitting yourselves.

We say there sometimes about marriage, and I’ve said it before, and it’s correct: If you get technical, we’ll say, in marriage, 100%, 100%. I understand what they’re saying: if your spouse gets cancer or they’re in the hospital and they can’t do anything, they have a major—whatever it is—you’re going to give 100%. And that’s exactly right. And that sometimes happens. Some of you know what it’s like when your wife’s been through cancer and chemo and all that stuff, you know, and been there myself. And so that is part of it.

But can I say that’s a strain? And it’s not sinful. It’s not bad. You just go through these stages of life. Brother Patterson, I think about when his wife was in or he was in a year or two ago with COVID, and just these things happen. And that’s not the norm. That’s a strain. And it’s not anybody’s fault, but that’s a strain relationship. So really, health—the relationship isn’t necessarily 100/100. Now, you’re willing to do that in strange times because you love them. You’d be glad to do that for them, but a healthy relationship is where both, you see, both are submitting themselves. Submit yourselves, plural. Both are submitting. That’s a healthy relationship.

Can I say this? If it’s always a lopsided conversation all the time, and one person is—the conversation is always about, never about the other party. Whatever the relationship—maybe marriage, maybe friendship, maybe co-workers—if it’s always this one person is just dominating, it’s always about them and their life, that’s not a healthy relationship. No, not submitting yourselves, yourselves plural. That’s healthy relationships. You’re both giving in.

If one is doing all the talking, I understand, I understand. By the way, it’s amazing—this is amazing. Out in the open, one will be just talking of them. Well, they must have talked their ear off. And then you get in practice sometimes the role switch, doesn’t it amazing how that works? But if it’s always the same person talking all the time and the other person really can’t even get a word in edgewise, it’s not a healthy relationship.

Submitting yourselves. Neither party in the relationships, even as your co-worker, your neighbors or whatever, your children or your parents or grandchildren, all these—it ought to be submitting yourselves. That’s what I’m saying. Plural, both are submitting. If one wants their way all the time, something’s not right. If one’s just so opinionated about everything, that’s not a healthy relationship.

I have a niece that got married, oh, it’s probably been 15 years ago, and maybe longer. And her parents, I know, had paid for them to go to some of these marriage retreats. Of course, they stayed in separate places, but it was like for engaged couples and whatnot, and they went to counseling here and there and read books and all the stuff. And just seemed like a lot of people really—you got to do this, this, this before you got married—and they did all that. Before most of it, I don’t know everything about all of it.

But a little while they’ve been married, maybe a year, I asked my niece, I said, “Hey, after all that y’all went through leading up to your marriage, you’ve been married a year now, what was the most helpful thing preparing you for marriage?” And she said this: She said that her preacher said one statement that for me was more helpful than anything. I was like, my ears are perked up, you know. I don’t know. I get premarital counsel and all this. Well, no.

And so what she said, she said that her preacher said, “If one person is always the kind, compassionate one that is always giving in, always, always, always, always giving in—maybe out of the goodness of their heart, maybe they kind of grew up being the one, you know, just never got their way type thing. The other one grew up the opposite.” But if it’s always like that, the one is always giving in. And she said—she said, honestly, talk about her husband—she says, “So-and-so, he’s kind of like that.” And that preacher said, “If it’s always like that over the years, after a while, that one”—which would be the man or the wife, by the way, do you hear that, the man or the wife? Amen now? You’ll get that in a bit there. It’s not the same thing. All right, you know, two different things is what I’m trying to say there. All right, you know, you understand where I’m going there on that. Anyway, after thought, but it’s truth, amen.

But it was always the same one giving in over the years that we end up resenting it. Just over time, they might not say anything, but it’s in the back of their head, they just start resenting it, that they’re always, always, always, always, always the one giving in. So the Bible here says, “Hey, submitting yourselves.” Both are submitting. Plural, not one submitting, submitting yourselves.

You know, you think about why we don’t want to submit to the person we’re supposed to love, whether it be neighbors or whoever. Maybe sometimes we’re just self-centered, just selfish. Of course, I always say selfish people, we’re not happy people. Maybe they’re dealing with past wounds and just major wounds. You know, if you feel like you’re just—you’re about to drown and your head keeps going underwater, it’s pretty hard to think about the other person. And that can be part of the equation that you have to work at. Maybe they grew up just being the center of the world, and by the way, parents, that’s why it’s very important: your children ought not grow up as the center of the world because they’re not going to be like that when they get married and out in the world. I don’t want to grow up like that. But whatever may mean—no, no, healthy relationships is when we both submit to each other.

Now, sometimes about that verse number 21. All right, first of all, we just got one letter in. That’s it. We just got the S in there so far: submitting yourselves. My goodness, man, there’s a lot of letters in here. We’re going to be here real late tonight. I tell you what, folks.

What about that? Let’s go back. Let’s go back to that verse, verse number 21. Verse number 21. I hate to have to tell you, I’m joking. My goodness, it just takes away from the joke now, you know. But look at verse number 21 right there. He says, “submitting yourself.” Now, we’ve talked about it’s plural. Here’s what I want to emphasize here for a minute: It’s not talking about someone else making you submit. It’s talking about you submitting yourself to help the relationship.

By the way, yes, and we’ve mentioned it, yes, it is biblical and right for the wife to submit. I always think Hollywood, they have a tough time making just a movie that creates a good atmosphere because they don’t want to go to that or the wife submissive. But I’ll tell you what, that creates such a sweet spirit in a home. It really does. It just starts off with just the sweetness of the home. Nothing else can create that. And I’m for that, and that’s biblical. That’s right.

But I’ve watched it over the years: it never works to create that sweet spirit if the husband is trying to browbeat his wife and make her submit. Because that’s not his job. His job is to love her. It’s her job to submit. Now, if she loves the Lord, as unto the Lord, she’ll submit. That’s between her and the Lord. But even if a husband just probably says, “You’re supposed to submit,” that’s God, you know. Okay, maybe she does it out of her love to the Lord and obedience to the Bible, and that’s right for her to do. You’re still not going to create that sweet atmosphere that comes in a home if she submits herself.

Submitting yourself. And something about when the husband—it’s not like she’s nagging him, preaching to him, “Well, you’re supposed to love me. You never do anything for me.” No, no, no. And he gives in, all right, I’m going to love you. No, no. But when he says, “You know what, I want to submit to you. I want to do what you want to do,” whatever it may be—not a moral thing here—I want to—I’m going to give it. I want to do your thing because I love you. That’s what creates a sweet spirit. It’s not someone else making them submit, submitting yourselves. You’re the one making yourself submit. It’s a big difference in submitting yourself out of love or out of obligation or out of fear. You want to submit.

And by the way, it helps a wife so much when the husband—he wants to because he loves her, he likes for her to have her way. He wants to do that. And that shows that love. And the more she feels true, agape, deep, unconditional love, the easier it is for her to submit. It’s a wonderful plan, which is Father God’s plan.

But the motive, by the way, look over in 1 Corinthians chapter number 13. 1 Corinthians chapter 13. This is what we often call the charity chapter, or excuse me, the love chapter, the love chapter. The love chapter, the love one of the people call it the love chapter. Really, the Bible word is charity. By the way, the Bible wanted to call love, he’d say love. Charity is a little bit like love, the next level of which it’s love in action. That’s actually where we got the name of the ladies’ ministry that serves meals for people from that word right there: charity. It’s love in action. It’s love in the next stage. It’s love doing something because it does love; it’s charity.

And so I want you to see this here. Once you see this here, look in chapter number 13, 1 Corinthians 13. Look in verse number 4. 1 Corinthians 13 and verse number 4 right there. Verse number 4. He says, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own.” Wow. So charity is not, “Well, I got my rights here.”

Deep love, charity’s not like that, seeking not her own. It’s not about itself. This is what I want. No, no, no. Charity’s deep love. You’re a deep lover. Okay, you don’t be like that. “Seeketh not her own, thinketh no evil.” Excuse me. The world’s love can be so shallow. And shallow love can last during shallow times, but you’re getting in deep waters and shallow love doesn’t last. But deep love, godly, agape love, charity, love in action, loving the next level—it’s not about itself, it’s about the other. It’s submitting. Okay, if there’s a moral issue, they’re going to stand on the right and the truth. But if there’s no moral thing, just giving in, and I’m preferring one another. You know, really the root problem is just loving deeply enough. You say, “Yeah, man, that’s pretty tough.” You know, submit—my submitting myself, by the way, in your relationships wherever, if you’re at work or wherever, and you’re just—no one—you’re never giving into anyone else or always giving into you—not trying to be mean, but you probably don’t love real deep.

You say, “What do I do about it?” Start praying: “God, help me to love deeply. I’m going to go in love. I’m going to learn to love deeply.”

Look over in Second Peter. Second Peter, chapter one. Very interesting here. He lists these things of just kind of the growth of a Christian’s life. And I want you to see it. You’ll probably see it before I don’t want you to see it. I want you to see some of the top tiers of the Christian life. And I think it’s almost like a cycle. There’s stages: you reach that top tier, God says, “All right, let’s go to stage two and give back up the top tier on stage two,” and then so on and so on, you know.

But look what he says over here. Look at Second Peter chapter one. Second Peter chapter one. And look at how he describes this thing of growth and the true growth in the Christian life. All right. Second Peter chapter one. And look in verse number five: Second Peter 1:5. He says, “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith.” Okay, that’s where it starts for—it starts with faith. By grace you say through faith and so on and so on. Add to your faith virtue, strength to do what you know is right to do. And to the virtue, knowledge, begin to gain knowledge. And to the knowledge, temperance. Temperance, temperance, temperance. And in the long haul, and the patience, godliness, begin to look a little bit like God. You have His attributes, godliness.

Watch this, watch it. Even after godliness, these top tiers of growth in the Christian life, and to godliness, brotherly kindness. I think we would do this spiritual gifts study on Sunday night, we’ll talk about kind—what does it mean biblical kindness? But brotherly kindness, and then it says, “Into brotherly kindness, what’s the top tier here? Charity.” You start loving people, not about what you can get out of them, not about how it makes you feel, how it makes you look—no, no, no—it’s about them: charity.

Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing: I can’t even make myself grow. I can do everything God wants me to do, but God grows me. Just like that, you plant a seed in the ground, you water, you till the ground, all the rest of that, but God makes that thing grow. Same thing in the Christian life. You do what God—but God, would you grow me? I’m doing my best to follow your word. I’m trying my best to keep the weeds out of my heart. God, would you grow me? God grows you.

It’s where you have charity. And when you have charity, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. It’s out of love. Nobody’s making you do it. Submitting yourself. Now, we’re talking about number one: we said it’s plural, submitting yourselves. And number two, he said nobody’s making you; you’re submitting yourselves.

Okay, then let’s look at just something real quickly here. Go back over here to Ephesians 5. We’ve mentioned it already as a reading. I want you just kind of go back and rehearse here a little bit. Verse 18: “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit.” No period. Continuation. “Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing to make a melody in your hearts to the Lord.” No period. Semicolon. “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Semicolon, no period. “Submitting yourselves.”

It’s kind of like a continuation of being filled with the Spirit. If I’m going to be Spirit-filled, controlled by the Spirit of God, not by my flesh, not by my feelings, not by what I want, I’m controlled by the Spirit of God: submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Relationships where they are submitting to each other are the results of relationships where the individuals are spiritual, I mean, in the fear of the Lord. God’s guiding, awareness of the presence of God in their life. God’s handling that relationship. So very, very important.

The world’s relationships, they can be so harsh. You take it at work. Some of you don’t know what I’m talking about, the relationships at work, or maybe—okay, I was in the food line getting a Valentine’s card for my wife. Yes, I was late, I got it today. But I did get it, amen. And I think it was there. I was somewhere today, I think it was there. Somewhere I was at today. And two guys were over there. I didn’t even get to see him. Somewhere I was at today. And I heard guys over there, I could hear them, you know, back behind me. And they were talking. Maybe it was somewhere else. It was another place. I know where it was now. And anyway, two guys were over talking, and he was telling what he got, I take it, for his wife. And the other guy said, “That’s all you got her?” And he said, “Well, that’s all she’s worth.” Yeah.

Now, he may have been joking. I don’t know. I don’t know. But so harsh. I take it. I hope he was joking. I don’t know. I didn’t see his face. But even if it is, it’s just a resemblance of the world’s relationship harshness, you know? And mean, it’s almost like, “Well, you do that and I’ll do this. If you get out of line, I’m getting out of line.” That type of relationships. Co-workers, same thing. “Well, they’re mean every morning.” “I mean, every morning, too.” Relationships. I’m just married, but just relationships. “Well, they never do their job. I’m not going to do their job.” Just my relationships.

You get the feeling of the world just a little bit mean, harsh in the relationships. Kind of a sad thing. And it’s just, “And what if they’re good to me? I’m going to be good back to them.” Well, I was good to them, so what are they going to do for me now? That type of, just, you understand? It’s a little bit just worldly relationships, you know? “Oh, you know, you don’t believe what they said about me. I can fight fire with fire,” you know. It’s just kind of mean, harsh relationship to the world.

But this is interesting. Look if you will over in the book of John, the book of John. And look in chapter number 13. The book of John, chapter number 13. John 13, look in verse number 35. Look at verse number 35. So the world, they’re kind of used to this harsh, mean-spirited, “I’ll do if you do” type relationships. You know, what shows them there’s a difference about us? If we know the Bible—well, you know, a lot of times they don’t care what you know until they know that you care.

And look what he says over here. Look at John 13. Look at verse number 35: “By this shall all men know”—that’s amazing, “all men”—“No,” that ye are my disciples, if you carry a King James Bible. I’m for carrying a King James Bible, but it doesn’t say if he carries a King James Bible. I’m for that. If you’ve been around here long, you know I’m for that. But it doesn’t say if you wear a tie to church on Sunday morning. I’m for that, as far as for me, for sure, and just I’m for dressing the best you can, whatever it may be, you know, going to the Lord’s house, you know. But it doesn’t say if you tie your tie, you got the dimple in there just right, you look—you got it all. It doesn’t say all that.

It doesn’t say that the world is going to know you’re a disciple by—by the way, it doesn’t even say Christian here. Disciple—much greater, much stronger. That’s someone that’s disciplined themselves to follow the Lord. They’re a serious Christian right there. They’re not a hypocrite. They’re not playing the game. They’re a serious Christian. They have disciplined themselves to follow the Lord Jesus Christ. The world will know that we’re truly a disciple of Christ. How? What does it say right there? “If you have love one to another.”

By the way, part of that, if I truly love, deeply love, I’ll be submitting. I’ll be submitting. You see someone at work and they’re a little bit down. You don’t want to go over there and tell them all about your day. You want to go over there, “Hey, hey, looks like you’re having a bad day,” or do you just tell them they need to talk about something? You just want to let them get it out. But you’re just—it’s a way of life. You’ve learned to love and you go submitting everywhere, just submitting to people, trying to meet their needs. That’s what Jesus did. He went everywhere doing good, meeting the needs of people everywhere. It’s Jesus. And as it grows us, well, I want to—I need to get there. And it grows at this top tier where we have charity. We’re glad to submit. Now, if it’s a moral issue, no. Out of your love to the Lord, you submit to the Lord and say, “Man”—you’re going to stand on moral issues. But things that aren’t, you submit because you love.

And the world sees that. They say, “Wow, look at those Christians. They have true love.” And they’re like, “Now that’s a true Christian right there. There’s something different about them right there.” Oh, the whole world—the cursing guy at work, you know, and the mean spirit. You’ve been at work. I worked at so many factories and shops and all that. Now, those mean, hateful guys—you’re not going to impress those kind of guys typically with your Bible knowledge or your pharisaical self-righteousness or your stories or all that, you know. How you’re going to impress them? You have true love one for another. You’re like, “All right, that’s the real deal there.” When we in our relationships—we have true love, agape—amen—yeah, that’s the real deal right there.

So when they, you know, their aunt or their uncle, their mom or their dad, someone’s about to die, they’re going to go to that real deal. “Would you pray for them?” “He said, ‘I’d be glad to pray for them. Hey, by the way, let me tell you how they can go to heaven.’ Maybe Joe, it would be good for you to hear about this too: how you go to heaven.” And they say, “Well, I’m going to listen to you because that’s a real deal guy that—and you’re leading the Lord.”

But how do they know that we’re the real deal of the disciples? By having love one toward another.

For a godly Christian, let’s look. Okay, you’re submitting everywhere you go. You know, not more what you’re submitting, but as you get in closer relationships, probably the closest besides our Heavenly Father is marriage. Healthy is we’re not that same one’s always giving in. It’s a give and take. And not because they’re wanting to take, but because others want to give. And you’re getting that, you know, the closer you get, and you get healthy relationships. See what we’re after. And submitting your—on the outside and with other people, you know, you’re just giving in. And in the closer, if you need to, you’re giving in, you’re willing to give 100%. But what you’re after is healthy, I mean, where you’re just both trying to give to each other all the time. Man, that’s a good marriage. That’s good relationships. Man, that’s a good marriage. That’s a good environment. That’s good relationships. Everybody just trying to give to each other. You’re submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. That’s what that’s healthy relationships and that’s what you’re after.

And for good God, and I hope I hope it’s clear, hope it made that clear kind of way it works. Glad you’re in church on the Wednesday night. Thank you for being here. Happy Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget Brother Garrett hadn’t said anything. Yeah. Oh my goodness, I thought he’d be on it. In the hallway there, there’s snacks. Amen. There’s snacks. Little Debbie cakes and I don’t know if we did—we get a lady, a couple ladies to help us out. Miss Stacy’s back. Maybe one other lady go back there and help. There you go. Thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate it. Get you some snacks on the way. We’re going to get some of our teenage girls tonight. We’re hurting some people out, whatnot here and there and yonder, but that’s fine. They’ll get that taken care of. It’s a Little Debbie cake, some kind of a drink back there. Enjoy your night. Happy Valentine’s Day. Glad you’re here tonight on Wednesday. What a wonderful blessing you’re here. That’s great. Good to have our guests. Thank you for being in church when you’re out of town. That’s awesome. Glad to have y’all here tonight. That’s just wonderful. Good to have Brother Larry, Miss Cindy back. Glad to have them back, been out sick. Brother Richard been in the hospital, good to have him back out too. And I’m back from Florida. Amen for that. It’s just good to see everybody.

Original File: Pastor Paul Chisgar - Having Healthy Relationships - Wednesday PM 02142024