# Don’t be a Diotrephes

Key Passage: 3 John 1
Date: June 7, 2024

And I appreciate those that took them. Appreciate Brother Adam driving the bus, and what a blessing that is. Turn your Bible, if you would, to 3rd John, chapter number two. And when you find that, would you say amen? And when you find that, would you say amen? And I’m waiting for you to find it. We’ve got a couple that’s found it. They’re good. I tell you what now, you know.

Third John has only one chapter, 14 verses. I had to get you listening a little bit there, some way, somehow. I do not plan to be long—starting a little bit early or a little bit late, excuse me, tonight. We’ve got fellowship after us and whatnot, so we’re going to go quick. But I do want to read through this whole book of the Bible. It’s only 14 verses. We’re okay. And someone recently, we were talking…

…and they had said, “Can you think of anyone in the Bible that you would think is narcissistic?” Well, my mind goes to Saul. I think Saul was for sure. And then they mentioned Diotrephes. Well, my will started turning. I said, “I think you’re right.” And I just had to look over there and study that a little bit, and just felt like the Lord had us cover it tonight because of that.

And that really got my mind going because they had mentioned it. So briefly tonight, we’re going to go through this, and I hope it will be a help and a blessing over the years in our church, and in your lives also. But the book of 3rd John, chapter number one—amen, and the only chapter—and verse number one, would you please stand if you are able? Third John, we’re going to start the first verse there.

And the Bible says, “The elder.” Now, that elder there is Apostle John; he’s the one that God used to pen this. He’s writing to a man named Gaius. What a name, you know. And I think John had led him to the Lord. And we’ll mention that maybe he’s coming up—just a good man, but he’s writing to him. So let’s just look at it real quickly. He said, “The elder unto the well-beloved Gaius, whom I love in the truth.”

“Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers. For I rejoice greatly when the brethren came and testified of the truth that is in you, even as you walk in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” I think he was one of his children of the Lord. And he says, man, just brings me so much joy. I have no greater joy than to hear that you, my children of the Lord, are walking in truth.

Verse number five: “Beloved, you do faithfully whatsoever you do to the brethren and to strangers.” Maybe the brethren are fellow preachers, and the strangers are just Christians that are traveling through. But he says, you’ve been so good to them; you’ve been taking care of them, if you will. “Which have borne witness of your charity before the church; whom if you bring forward on their journey after a godly sort, you shall do well.”

“Because that for his namesake they went forth, taking nothing of the Gentiles. We therefore ought to receive such, that we might be fellow helpers of the truth.” I wrote unto the church, but Diotrephes, who loveth to have preeminence among them, receiveth us not. Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words, and not content therewith.

Neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church. “But love followeth not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God; but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.” Demetrius hath a good report of all men, and of the truth itself. Yea, we also bear witness, and ye know that our record is true. And many things are right…

…but I will not write unto thee with ink and pen, but I trust I shall shortly see thee, and we shall speak face to face. Peace be to thee, and our friends salute thee. Greet the friends by name. Would you pray with me that God would speak to our hearts and minister to us tonight? Father, would you just use tonight? Lord, I don’t know all the reasons you’ve led us to this, but I pray you to fulfill all of them. Grow us.

Lord, guide our minds and our hearts tonight. We’ll thank you, Lord, for what you do. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen. Thank you so much for standing. You may be seated. I thank the Lord, and I do not preach a message like this because we’ve got a lot of church problems, and I’m very thankful for that. God’s been very good to us and given us a good church family, and I want to just say that up front.

And I mean that. I think our church is much, much better than the average as far as our church family. And I praise the Lord for that. But I would like to say this also: if this happened at a church where Apostle John—one of God’s apostles, Jesus’ apostles that traveled with him, and part of the inner three, Peter, James, and John—he’s the one that God used to pen the book of Revelation, John the Revelator, exiled in the Isle of Patmos…

If this man dealt with this, who are we to think we’re not going to deal with this? Early church, very pure, great leadership. Sure, we’re going to deal with it in our day and time. It’s just part of it. Especially if our church grows, and new building, and all those things, it’s just going to be part of it. In fact, we’ve probably dealt with it many, many times over the years already. So we’re not the exception to it. We’re just like everybody else. Great church, great church family.

But we’re a church family, amen. And that’s all right. It’s not the end of the world, but we want to gain some wisdom and see what God has to say about it and deal with it as God does. You know, it’s interesting. There can be a rock, a very strong, powerful rock. But they call it weathering. There can be a little bitty crack in there, and there’ll be a rain come, and then just the right temperature when it rains and the right temperature when it freezes.

You just get the right atmosphere there, and that little bitty crack—when that water seeps down in there, a little bit warmer, maybe whatnot—seeps down in there, and it freezes, it’ll make that crack bigger when it freezes. And then another kind of perfect timing of it all, and a little bit more water gets in there, and it makes it a little bit bigger, and over time, that rock splits. And we’ve got a great church, praise the Lord, it’s built on the Rock that never will crush: Jesus Christ.

But Satan loves to get in the little cracks. He’s just always about that. And so we want to just kind of take God’s word and study it for a bit about this. And by the way, let’s just not think of everybody else. We don’t want to be like the guy that, you know, he’s talking about the toothpick in the other guy’s eye, but has the telephone pole in his eye, you know. So let’s look at ourselves as we’re talking about it too. But just briefly, this thing really specifically about…

Diotrephes. This is interesting. A senior pastor, Neil Thornton, he said this: He said, “Those who have been around a while will tell you, every church has at least one Diotrephes in the midst.” Such a person can often hold ministries captive. It’s just part of it. You deal with these things. It’s just people. And all of us, by the way, all of us from time to time have a little bit of this in us, all right?

So, but let’s just study. I’m trying to go along quickly here. We’re going to jump down to verse number nine when he really starts talking about Diotrephes. What kind of a person is a Diotrephes? Verse number nine, he says, “I wrote unto the church, but Diotrephes…” Here’s the first description of him: “…who loveth to have the preeminence among them.”

This guy, he likes to be preeminent. Strong’s Concordance—I don’t always agree with everything he says—but he says it’s someone preeminent. Preeminence is someone that loves to be fond of being first. It comes from two Greek words: one, phileo, or fond of, and then the other one just means being first. It’s someone that’s just fond of being first. If someone would like to be called, “You’re my favorite,” that type thing. They just like to be known as the top, the first. I think this person here in the Bible, Diotrephes, was probably someone in some kind of a leadership role. He had a lot of influence, a lot of power. But these types of people, they love to have power and influence…

…for themselves. They love to be the dominant one at church. They’re very good. They like to know about everybody, and they’re kind of good at getting information from people, so they kind of keep their fingers on everybody. They know because they want to be the first. They’re fond of being first. That’s a Diotrephes. They’re just fond of being… kind of the top dog, if you will, being first. Now, I know something else he says about them in verse number nine: “…receiveth us not.”

Now, he’s talking about John there, Apostle John, and maybe his team that’s with him here. And then he says, they don’t receive us. Remember the first thing he says: they love to be first, so someone kind of threatens their being first. They don’t want to welcome them into the core of the family. They don’t want to receive them in there. Now, if the person that’s influential coming in will kind of come underneath them and let them lead and let them call the shots, they’ll welcome them in. But if the person coming in…

…won’t follow them and let them be the first, then they will not receive them. But they’re not real active at bringing other people all the way into the fold unless they kind of fall underneath their control, if you will. They’re more focused on monopolizing the people that are there, you know. And this Diotrephes—very, very—it just happens with us people.

Let’s find a little bit more about what kind of a person is a Diotrephes. Look in verse number 10. Y’all are quiet tonight. I’m not across Arizona anyone; I’m preaching the word of God, amen, you know. So, all right, all right, all right tonight. Verse number 10, let’s keep going. Let’s study the Bible for a minute here because we got cake coming here in just a second. All right.

Verse number 10, right there. He says, “Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us.” Now, what in the world is prating? I don’t know if you know—raise your hand. No, I’m joking with you. Prating. What is prating? Noah Webster, 1828. He says this about prating:

This is his definition. He says, “Talking much on trifling affairs.” It’s someone that’s just good at maybe talking about someone, good at small talk. They’re very, very warm, very friendly. They’re just good at talking about just little bitty things. But notice what he says there: “…prating against.” Now that’s interesting.

It’s not just someone good at small talk, but it’s someone good at using small talk. They’re dropping seeds of discontent. And they’re just good at it. They can kind of drop the seeds, and nobody even really knows who dropped the seed. They’re just good at small talk, and they’re prating against—and they’re just kind of slowly sliding. By the way, well, doesn’t that remind you over there in Proverbs 6?

When he says, “These six things that the Lord hates, yea, seven are an abomination unto him.” What’s the seventh thing over there in Proverbs 6? He that what? He that what? Now notice, “He that sows discord among the brethren.” Notice he doesn’t come in there and just start a big fight. He sows. Usually, when you sow, you don’t see the product of that, the fruit of that, till a couple months later. And God sees it all, though, and he sees when this person, just real good at small talk, but in this small talk, they’re dropping little things against people that won’t let them be the first.

And specifically, you hear John, and they’re just good at that. And now the scene may have fruit later on. Well, they’re just good at dropping these words, these things, prating against these other leaders that won’t fall underneath them, and they’re prating against. Let’s keep going on. What type of person is this Diotrephes? He says prating against—let me get over there myself…

…prating against us—that’s John, the leaders there that were with him—with malicious words. Malice, what is malice? Malice is just, you have inside your heart a desire to see someone harmed a little bit, hurt a little bit. And they’re dropping these words, small talk, and they’re prating against with malicious words, words that do harm to people.

They’re just slyly dropping these words of harm against other people. They’re good at it. And sometimes, here’s what they’ll do: If someone really won’t fall underneath them being the top dog, the first, and won’t fall underneath their control, they’ll start a little bit, very slyly. Politicians do it all the time. The media does it big time. They start in the media—they’re not sly about it—but this person will be sly about it. They’re probably against it. But the media, what do they do? They start a smear campaign. And they start saying all these bad things. And this person is just good about kind of slyly dropping these words. It’s just a little smear campaign against someone. They’ll put a tag on someone: “Man, they’re a little crazy, you know. They’re out there on that one, aren’t they?”

They’re just good at putting little tags on people. Why? Because that person doesn’t allow them to be first, and they’re fond of being first. Now, let’s keep going. What does he say here? We’re hurried along here because we want to get some cake here in just a minute. He says, “Wherefore if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words.”

And not content—they’re not content with just starting the little smear campaign. They’re not content with that. They want to go a little bit farther than that. “Neither doth he himself receive the brethren.” And he says, “Look, I don’t want them to be inside the little core leadership here because they’re not coming underneath my leadership. I’m fond of being first, so they’re not letting me be first, so I don’t want to receive them into this because they’ll kind of hurt my being first, my being the lead, my being in control of it all.” They’re not content with just a smear campaign.

Then he says this: “…and forbiddeth them that would.” And I’ve got to get back—I’m looking at my notes, kind of going by head—“…and forbiddeth them that would.” So not only does he not receive them into the center of the fold, if you will, but then others that would receive them in there, he forbids them not. And he asks this way: “Just don’t you let them into the center. Don’t you let them into the core.” And he won’t receive them, but if you receive them, he’s got a problem. He forbids others to receive them in. See that?

It’s just a little control game what’s going on. It’s honest, simple truth. Then watch this. Then he says, “…and casteth them out of the church.” Now there’s a debate about this. Is he talking about casting out the other leaders that are trying to come in there that he can’t control? Or is he talking about casting out those that will welcome them into the fold? I don’t know; you can argue about it, but he just doesn’t want them in there, and he tries to cast them out—maybe both, it’s in reference to casting them out, is what he’s saying there.

Now, what kind of a person is a Diotrephes? He loves to be first. He’s focused on getting others to put him first, and if they don’t really fall into that, he’ll start a little smear campaign against them, and then he undermines the authority. See, Diotrephes undermined the authority of Apostle John so much that they wouldn’t receive his letter. See? Man, y’all are quiet tonight. Goodness gracious, wow. We’re not shooting right now. But it is so interesting what all God says about it. Let’s keep going. Let’s keep going. Look at verse number 11. Verse number 11.

Here’s really the core. Here’s the thing. We’re going to have—let me just say this before we get to verse number 11—we’re going to have Diotrephes. Look, it’s 2024. We live in America. Praise the Lord, our church welcomes people in. God’s blessed; people are getting saved, people getting reached. Lord willing, we’re going to keep growing, and it’s just going to be part of it. Don’t be shocked about this. Okay? It’s common. Sometimes they get in leadership. They’re good at that. They’re good to talk with people, so they’re just going to be part of it. It already is part of it. It’s all right. Really, verse number 11 is the key of it all. We’re going to have Diotrephes. We do. It’s just part of dealing with people. Verse number 11 is really the key to it if it’s going to harm the church or not…

…in a great way and kind of hold it captive or not. Verse number 11 is so very, very important. Watch what he says. He says, “Beloved.” He just told about Diotrephes, what kind of person he is. Then he says, “Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good.” Here’s the thing: We’re going to have a Diotrephes, but it’s really all about how much influence the church gives Diotrephes. That’s the key. If the church doesn’t give this individual that much control, influence—well, we’re going to have them; that’s part of it. But if the church—and unfortunately this church here was given Diotrephes a whole lot of influence—if the church does give Diotrephes a lot of influence, then it kind of captures or captivates…

…and hinders and stops the church from growing to the next level. That does happen. It was happening here at this church, and the church is just very hindered because they were given in. But the key—that’s the key to it. They’re going to be there; it’s part of it. It’s all right. Don’t get bent out of shape. By the way, don’t go out of bounds. Don’t look at their Diotrephes and think, “I want to shoot them,” you know. They’re going to come. They have. They do. It’s part of it. But here’s the key: If the church doesn’t give Diotrephes a lot of influence, a lot of control, you move on. It’s all right. Well, it may offend them; that’s all right. Just do right. Don’t worry about that. Just keep doing right.

It is amazing to me one man had really hurt the influence of an apostle of Jesus Christ, one of the inner three, John the Revelator. They were not even receiving his letter. I’m going to be so careful of just undermining people that undermine authority, whether it be—we’re talking about church, and the Bible’s here talking about a church—but even at work, you’ll see these same personalities. You’ll see them, very common, just undermining authority or someone’s character. It’s just part of it. Here’s the thing: even good men like Gaius—he’s a good man.

And, boy, he said, “It does me so much good to hear you walking in truth and you’re being good to the brethren and the strangers.” And I rejoice, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” He said, I love all that. But even Gaius—he’s warned, Gaius is—even Gaius, a good man, is tempted to follow. If he wasn’t tempted to follow, why would he tell him, “Hey, don’t follow the evil”? Because there’s a temptation.

Diotrephes are usually very, very influential, very good at that. Here is an interesting good man, Dr. Ricky Gravely, pastor of Bible Baptist Church—a good man—who says this: He says, “As a pastor, I’ve seen men and women come to the church like this man. They would first get a little following around the restaurant table after church services.” By the way, I’m not saying that’s wrong to do. I’ve been bragging on a couple of people here lately; they have been really good at inviting new people into that. I love that. Fellowship’s important. But this is kind of the typical here, and this is what this pastor is saying: They would first get a little following around the restaurant table after church service. Then they would build themselves up and try to minister to the members that they could pull in around them. Finally, they would distance themselves from anyone that they thought was loyal to the authority within the church. You say, if they…

…cannot be the authority, their goal is to undermine and reject the authority that is in place." So typical. You’ll see personalities like this all over. Just a couple thoughts about it. We’re done. We’re going to go eat, amen. A couple concluding thoughts. Number one: John was going to deal with it. He’s looking, “If I get there, I’m going to deal with this thing.” Now there’s a chance—and we’re not exactly sure if he did get there or not—but…

But if he didn’t get there, he’s at least letting it be known to Gaius what to do about it. And Gaius, hey, look, when I get there, in this church, sometimes it’s not that bad. Boy, you must be very, very prayerful about how to deal and when to deal with these things. I don’t have the corner market on how to deal with it for sure either, but as you pray about it, sometimes God takes care of it himself. That’s always neat to see.

Boy, you see that sometimes. But this one’s to the point that John here, he says, “Look, when I get there, I’m going to deal with it.” This one here needs to be dealt with. Sometimes it does. And even to the point, if he doesn’t get there to deal with it, he’s telling Gaius so Gaius will know how he would deal with it if he did get there. Then let me just say this, just concluding thoughts. We’re going to be done. The ministry is no place for power-hungry, jealous, slanderous people. So true.

Let me say: The ministry is no place for power-hungry, jealous, slanderous people. No place for that.

The world will know the disciples of Christ by what? If we have love one for another. That’s how they’ll know. Some churches just have such a—so much power play going on, and you get little bitty cliques here and there, and you’ve got this leader over here and this leader, and there’s no church family, and guests come in, and they don’t feel the love.

And the Spirit of God—by the Spirit of God—is grieved when that’s going on. The Spirit of God’s not working. Well, the Spirit of God is like a dove. Boom, he’s gone. I mentioned this every once in a while, but I remember years and years ago, God was working in the invitation. It was just one of those times, praise the Lord, when you feel God’s working in the invitation. People were coming forward, and even a little bit later people were coming forward, and just… just as best I can find—and I don’t even—and I’m not sure that I remember the person that did it. But I just remember over here in this section. I think her name was Lauren. I’m teasing; it was years and years ago, before the far fans went. I’m not exactly sure I remember who it was. But I remember someone over in that section years and years ago. Boy, she lifted her watch up. You know when they do like this, you know, they’re trying to give a little hint there, you know. And she was mad. You could tell. She was just huffy and puffy about this invitation going on.

And it just seemed like the Spirit of God said, “All right, I’m out of there.” It was a sad deal. It just seemed like the Lord said, “All right.” Now, I’m not saying always the Lord will let one person deter him. But sometimes the Spirit of God says, “All right, if you really don’t want me working.” It was a sad thing. And sometimes it takes a lot of prayer to overcome things like that. But the ministry is no place for power-hungry, jealous, slanderous people. Then last thought, we’re done. Last thing. I’ve watched over the years. Brother Glenn. Brother Glenn, how long have you been a member here? Brother McIntyre? How long have you been here, Brother McLeod? How long have you been here, Brother Glenn? Twelve years, twelve years.

Brother Glenn, from maybe day one when they joined or maybe before they joined, I don’t know, when they started coming, Brother Glenn real quickly got involved in the music ministry. And Brother Glenn has watched a lot of people come and a lot of people go. But I’ve watched Brother Glenn: if someone comes in that can play an instrument really good, he doesn’t ever push them aside. He always welcomes them in.

Never like, “Well, I don’t want somebody stealing the limelight for my show. I’m first.” I’ve watched him over there. He’s just—he’s welcome. He’s glad to have him. “Come on in.” Some may be a little bit louder and talkative and all that, more outgoing personality—nothing wrong. Everybody’s got different personalities, but it doesn’t matter. He just welcomes them in. “Glad to have you a part of it. Glad to have you in here.” And that’s how it should be. He’s a… Hey, praise the Lord for Brother Ted! You know, personal. I love it, man. I love it. He brings color in here, man. I love it now, you know. Bring some life in here. But, let’s just use that. Brother Ted has an outgoing personality. He’s… I think you’ve told me these words: “I’ll talk to fence posts if they’ll talk back to me,” though.

He likes people. He’s good with people. He’s got a more outgoing personality. Brother Glenn didn’t say, “Wow, Brother Ben just welcomes people in.” And that’s what it should be. You know? Even if they may be a little more influential, better than us in certain positions, whatnot, hey, praise the Lord if it’s all about the cause of Christ. Praise the Lord, that’s where it should be. Let’s bow our heads, if you would, please. Our heads are bowed. Our eyes are closed. But you just do this: Let’s just take the invitation tonight. Let’s just pray for God’s blessing on his church, the people in it, the future.

You’ve heard it said, “Boy, building programs—the devil tries every angle he can.” And that’s true. Let’s just pray for the church, God’s church. Would you please stand for a word of prayer, and you just be obedient to the Lord? Father, thank you for your goodness. Thank you for your word. Help us to glean and grow and learn, be wiser from it. And bless even after, Lord, the fellowship, the food, Brother Joy and Grace. Well, thank you, Lord, for what you do. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen. Would you spend some time with the Lord? Would you bless and use your church for your glory and your honor? Can you prevent a Diotrephes from coming to church? No, you don’t necessarily want to, because God might change their heart when they’re here. We don’t want to give them a whole lot of influence.

Original File: Pastor Paul Chisgar - Don’t be a Diotrephes - - Sunday PM 06022024