It’s Okay to Grieve
Key Passage: Ecclesiastes 7
Date: June 7, 2024
We’re covering the most misused verses in the Bible just for a couple Wednesday nights, and somewhere along the line, I believe at the beginning of the year, we’re going to go to the minor prophets.
And we could probably stay on this subject for a long time. Would you just ask the Lord to give wisdom in how long we should be, especially when you get into false churches. They all like to use verses, but they’re so often misused. But tonight we’ll look at one: Ecclesiastes seven. And the title for the internet would be, “It’s Okay to Grieve.” It’s okay to grieve.
And Ecclesiastes chapter number seven is what we’ll be at tonight of God’s Word. Ecclesiastes seven.
I forgot to mention also, I got to visit Ronnie today. Ronnie Scarlett got saved and baptized two months ago at open-heart surgery, doing very good, very good, sitting up in his chair and talking just in his living room, doing very, very good. So praise the Lord for that. And they miss y’all very much also.
Ecclesiastes 7, if you’re there, would you please stand? We’re going to read just verse number one to kind of get us going, Ecclesiastes 7 and verse number one of God’s Word.
And the Bible there says, Ecclesiastes 7, verse number one: “A good name is better than precious ointment.”
I kind of just stop for a moment there and say a word or two about both of those. A good name, or typically we will say a good reputation, and I agree with that for the most part. The only problem is every once in a while in some places in the Bible it’s used, you can’t always be in control of your reputation. Jesus did not always have a good reputation. And so a little bit of caution, I would say with that. Maybe a little bit better definition. And I’m not saying that’s not part of it. Jesus always did the right thing, we know that. I’m just saying you don’t always have control over your reputation. You can fall into a rut with that. If you’re always trying to guard your reputation, you do right, God can handle your reputation. It’s not true. You make sure you’re doing right and avoid all appearance of evil, as the Bible says. But a good name.
How many of you know someone and they call you by your last name? Yeah. Boy, I’ve had that. I remember bosses and coaches and whatnot: “Chisgar!” You know, and you have a name. I’ve heard—my dad never really did it—but I’ve heard a parent saying, “Hey, you’re carrying our name. You better behave yourself because I don’t want you to give our family a bad name.” I believe it has to do with that. A good family, maybe you could say. A good name. A good family, a good name. Yes, I think included in it is a good reputation. But a good name is better
than precious ointment, or if you owe luxuries, precious ointments were a luxury in that day and time. So, if you will, better to have a good family than have all the luxuries. Well, a lot of people are giving up having a good family for all the luxuries, and they’re missing out on so much better than luxuries. Can I just say a word or two here? It’s Wednesday night. It’s our core crowd. But ladies, if it’s all possible, stay at home and raise those kids.
Miss Melissa, she works in a daycare, and we talked about it. It reminds me so much of when my daughter worked at the daycare. They both say about the same thing. They say when the baby’s just very, very young, and they’ll drop that just a couple months old baby off, that the baby will cry, cry for mom or dad. But give them six months, and then mom’s gone all the time, and dad too, and then mom will come pick him up, and they cry because they have to leave the daycare. Very common. Both said the same thing. Now, you figure out who they’re bonding with, see? And so if I got to choose between a good name and precious ointment, forget the ointment, take a good name, good family, if you will. We’re losing that in this day and time. We’re losing that battle. We’ve got our society just so cattywampus, and we wonder why we have the problems we have.
By the way, God can take care of bills. You work and do your best you can. God can take care of bills.
I understand when single moms are in a situation. I understand. The best you can, you keep that thing right with God. Trust the Lord. I wasn’t planning on saying this much, but when we were starting the church, just a little bit into it, we didn’t have much. And my wife started working. We had two young kids. And John and Sarah—my wife started working secretary for her and owned a business in her church, whatnot—maybe just a month or two, if that. And I went to a conference. And I don’t know that the preacher really preached on that, but, boy, the Holy Spirit got all over me. And it wasn’t far away, but I came home when I said, “Tam, you got to quit.” And God said, “What in the world are you doing? I’m paying your bills. Yet we went hungry, and I’m taking care of him.” So I came home and said, “Hey, you got to quit that job.” Praise the Lord, had a wife said, “I’d be glad to quit.” She stayed home, raised your kids, and God provided for us. All these years later, I’m so thankful for that. And so just a word: Unless this world conforms you into its image, be so wise about that. Let’s get back to the message, amen. That one was free. Man, we weren’t even close to get on that one there.
“A good name is better than precious ointment, and the day of death than the day of one’s birth.” That’s what we’re going to focus on: the day of death than the day of one’s birth.
Many will say along this line, “Well, you know, the day of death is better than the day of birth, so, man, we ought to rejoice at funerals.” How many have ever heard something along that line? You ever heard that? I understand what they’re saying, but, friend, that’s not what the Bible’s teaching here. Well, man, we ought to come to funerals and just have a ball. And I understand what they’re coming from, but the Bible is not teaching that at a funeral you’re supposed to have a party. And sometimes you’ll get these feelings: “Well, if you’re spiritual enough, you wouldn’t be crying.” You might have said exactly like that, but you get those thoughts and those feelings. Can I just say a word or two? It’s right to mourn. It’s right to mourn. It’s right to mourn.
Abraham—what a great Christian Abraham was—let me just read a couple of verses about this: it’s okay and it’s right to mourn. Genesis 23, verse number two: “And Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.” Ecclesiastes chapter three, when it talks about all the times—I think it’s 36, 37—“A time to… and a time of,” so on and so on. Verse number four says, “A time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” James chapter 4, when told about getting close to God, the first couple verses are just very depressing, and then he says, “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned into mourning, and your joy into heaviness.” That’s when you’re drawing close to God. And then the classic verse will be over there a lot tonight. Let me be later on. Matthew 5, verse number 4, when Jesus is giving the Sermon on the Mount, He’s giving the Beatitudes. You’ll know it where Jesus said it: Jesus said, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.” All right? So it’s not saying, man, go to your funeral and have a ball. He’s not saying that.
Look at verse number two, if you go over there in Ecclesiastes. Let’s get the context a little bit here. Ecclesiastes 7. Look at verse number two, if you would, please: “It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.”
In other words, the living will learn from it. He’ll lay it to his heart, is what I was trying to say there. He’s talking about better to go to the house of mourning than feasting and so on. So what is he saying here, “…and the day of death is better than the day of one’s birth?” Now, that “and” is very important. That “and” connects the first part of the verse to the last part of the verse, okay? The “and” is bringing those two together. What’s the first part? “A good name is better than precious ointment.” And so you got a guy that’s got a good name, he’s got a good family, he’s got a good reputation, probably a good man, I would think, a saved man biblically. So you think about, you’re connecting those two, and then he says, look for this good man. Good name, man, he’s got a good name. It’s the day of his death; it’s better than the day of his birth.
Well, look at this thing. My goodness, I understand the statement a little bit better now. I mean, when you’re born, that baby’s born—boy, Callie, this is not the day for you to come, you know, he’s just about bringing this baby—and I’m joking a little bit, but when that baby’s born, that baby, if it lives a natural life, is going to have a whole lot of tears. But the day of death, the tears are done. For the most part, God’s going to wipe away your tears. The day of your birth, you’ve got a lot of trials to go through. Anybody out there knows about trials? Anybody ever have a trial out there? Some of you know about trials. Well, on your day of death, your trials are done.
Anybody ever get tired of temptations? Boy, I’m so sick of temptations. Well, on your day of your death, temptations are done. I know all the temptations are over with. Anyone ever get tired of failing? Well, that child, when it’s born, it’s going to fall a lot of times. Now, hopefully he’ll be the just man that keeps getting back up—seven times, number of completions. Praise the Lord, man, on your day of death, all your failing is all over for a Christian, no more falling, amen. You get up on time every day without an alarm clock. Woo! Even them that sleep in heaven, amen. Don’t need an alarm clock there. That’s going to be a good day for sure, you know. That’s what he’s talking about. Your day of your death is better than the day of your birth. It’s not saying that you ought to go to a funeral and just be chipper! No, God’s not trying to say that. They’ll try to twist it in there.
By the way, the New Testament lines up with that. Look over, if you will, in Philippians chapter number one. Philippians chapter one, God is speaking through Paul, Apostle Paul, over there in Philippians 1. And great verses over there, Philippians 1. Would you look down in verse number 21? Philippians 1, verse number 21. And I believe this was Brother Bruce Burkett’s life first. I remember our youth director years ago, maybe I’m wrong about that, but I believe so. But Philippians 1, verse number 21: “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is what? Gain.” Living here is Christ, that’s a good thing. If I die, that’s gain right there.
Look down verse number 23: “For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart.” He said, “I’m ready to go. That’s my desire. That’s what I want to do, and to be with Christ, which is far better.” Boy, that kind of lines up with Ecclesiastes 7:1. It’s better. Nevertheless, to abide with you in the flesh is more needful for you. So that’s what he’s saying. Yes, we understand now that God’s saying that the day of death is better than the day of birth. We get that now, totally.
But I do want to just take a little while and talk to you, just maybe talk to you almost like we’re sitting down talking about grieving. Our church has lost some wonderful people in the last year and a half. Really have. I look over and think about Brother Larry. I look out and think about Brother Craig Busho. I was just speaking with Miss Jenny Fontaine today. I think about Moses and Miss Ruthie, spent so many years taking care of him, and the heartbreak must be there. I think about Miss Rita Thompson for sure. And even recently Miss Tabitha just had a memorial service Saturday a week and a half ago. And mourning.
Would you look back over in Matthew chapter 5? I thought the Lord just had us focus a little bit on grieving or mourning, if you would. By the way, we’ve been using the word “mourning” a lot. “Blessed are they that mourn,” but actually, if we use the word “grieving,” maybe a touch different, but the Holy Spirit grieves. And so that would take it kind of off the board if it’s a sin to grieve or to mourn.
Matthew chapter 5—we’re going to be a verse before; just keep your finger there, we might turn a little bit elsewhere—but we’re going to keep going back to this verse, the Beatitude, Matthew 5 and verse number 4 of God’s Word. And the Bible there says, “Blessed are they that”—what’s the next word?—“mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Kind of just start off by saying it’s right, it’s healthy. Jesus is saying if you’re going to be blessed—someone might use the word “happy” there—you mourn. It’s right to mourn. Whether it be at the funeral, whether it be a year later, whether it be a week later, it’s right to mourn.
If you are grieving, can I just say this: It’s okay to have a rough day. I’ll ask some of my wonderful, precious people that have lost loved ones, and sometimes I say, “How are you doing?” and sometimes I’ll say, “How to rough day?” Hey, you know, that’s understandable. And if you’re grieving, give yourself grace. Don’t expect yourself to be flying high all the time. “Oh, we’re supposed to rejoice evermore.” You know, that’s rejoice. That means you’re going to go down and you’ve got to read. See, that’s another misunderstood Bible verse. We’re not always supposed to be smiling all the time. Now, that’s not normal prayer. Rejoice. Be gracious with yourself.
Can I say this, if you’re grieving? A lot of different things you can grieve. I think it’s Michelle; she lost her husband. I don’t know how many years ago it is now, but still the grief is there. Miss Tammy Woodard, and somebody else—I miss some I know, and if I have, I apologize, not doing that on purpose. But there’s so many other things you can grieve beyond just that. It may be your life’s not turning out like you thought it would. It may be your child—one of the greatest heartbreaks you can have is your child going wayward. One of the greatest griefs a mother can have is that. A lot of things you can mourn or grieve about. If you’re going through a divorce, my goodness, you’ve been through a divorce. Of course, the main one we think about is the death of a loved one, but so many things we can mourn and grieve about. And can I say this: Do the work of grieving. Do that work. Don’t act like, “Well, I’m okay.” There are no super Christians. There is only a super Christ. We’re all flesh and blood, and we all hurt. And that’s all right to hurt. And that’s proper to hurt. We all ought to hurt somebody. “Blessed are they that mourn.” Jesus even says that. If I never go through the grieving/mourning, there’s a good chance I never get to the healing. They have a lot of Christians, “Oh, I’ve got to be a super Christian,” and they never want to just go through the grieving process, and they never get past that. And they sometimes say, “Well, I’m good,” but they’re not really good. And I’m not saying go around with a sad look on your face all the time, trying to get everybody’s attention. I’m not saying that, but do the work of grieving. That’s right to do.
Everybody’s going to grieve a little bit differently, and you’re going to grieve in different times and different stages. And some, well, right after someone dies, they start the grieving process the next second, it seems like. And some start the grieving process six months later, and some a year later. And some get hung up on some things, and somebody has so many scars, they can’t grieve properly for a while. And don’t demand yourself to grieve a certain way in a certain time. “I should be better by now.” Well, you’re being gracious to yourself, aren’t you? And just because so-and-so went through this process a certain way, don’t mean you’re going to go through that process that way. And take time. You will have relapses if you’re grieving over major things. You will. And many of you know better than me, but birthdays and reminders can, boy, just take you back and cause a relapse. Speaking with a mother, her daughter has been through major trauma, and she says, “We didn’t figure it out for a while, but it’s almost like her subconscious mind knows when this thing comes around every year. She just goes bizarre and crazy.” I realize, “Wow, that’s when she had a major trauma years ago.” And so you’re going to have relapses.
Sometimes maybe you’re grieving over—maybe when that happened, maybe your mom or dad died when you were very young. You were too young to properly grieve it. Sometimes you get older, you grieve those. There are so many different things about it. And sometimes you’re just in different stages of life. Can you imagine a daughter that maybe lost her father? Well, she needs to grieve when she’s young and get through it. Well, think about when she gets married. She probably won’t grieve a little bit that day—her wedding day. And so different stages of life, and there’s not always just a set formula for everybody. Now, there are typical stages, and you can find them on the internet and whatnot, and I don’t know that everybody’s the same. Some will say five stages, some will say seven stages of grieving, but there’s some truth to it, I believe, for sure.
Often there’s just what I call—they’ll call it denial—and that’s true, but I just call it the numb stage. You think, “Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and it’s all just a bad nightmare. It’ll all be over.” And sometimes you just go through these stages; you’re not trying to be anything, they’re just there.
I lost my fingers that night, and by the time I got to the first hospital, my body started shaking. And I told them, I said, “I don’t know why my body’s shaking. I’m all right.” And I was all right mentally, but they said, “It’s just naturally happens. Your body goes into shock. You lose so much blood.” And just some things happen naturally. And so often you’ll go through the denial or the numb stage, if you will.
Almost—it’s amazing—almost everyone I’ve ever dealt with, especially if your spouse or someone close to you dies and you were the caretaker, you’ll go through a time of blaming yourself. “Well, I should have taken them in earlier. I wish I had done this. I wish I did that. I wish that had warned.” Almost everyone I’ve ever dealt with close up, always you’re going to go through that stage: “I wish I would have.” And that’s part of the grieving process. And it’s okay. Don’t get stuck there, but it’s part of it.
If you’re a caretaker, very often—so often—you’re just going to feel a little bit of relief when they pass because you’ve been devoting everything you had to take care of them for months and months, and everything was on pause. And then they passed, and there’s a little relief there. And here’s the thing: then Satan will put a guilt trip on you for feeling relieved, and that’s part of the grieving process. Satan’s a liar, see? It’s natural, man. You’ve been night and day, literally night and day, taking care of them. It’s just natural. You’re going to have a little bit of relief if you’ve been taking care of them, especially if you’ve been doing it for months and months and sometimes years. Just part of it.
So just some stages you’ll go through. Very often you’ll go through the angry or the bitter stage. I often say this about the bitter, angry stage: Often you’re going to go through that stage whether you want to or not. I’m not saying it’s sinful, but don’t camp out there. That’s where it gets into sinful. You pass through the Valley of Baca of tears; you don’t stay there. You process that thing and don’t get stuck in that right there.
There’s a stage of depression often. You’re just depressed. You just have a deep feeling of sadness about you. It seems like all you want to do is sleep all the time. You don’t want to get up and go anywhere. You don’t want to do anything. You’re just this feeling you can’t shake it of just sadness that goes with you everywhere you go. You don’t smile a lot. Sometimes you have thoughts of dying. You don’t want to live anymore. Very common. Now, don’t you step into God’s realm. That’s God’s realm, whether you live or die.
I spoke with someone today—it’s amazing, I wouldn’t have planned on it—but I spoke with someone today, and they’ve lost their spouse of a lifetime, and they say, “I don’t want to live anymore.” That’s very common. I said, “Hey, the Lord has a reason for you here,” and they said, “I know it,” and they’re not going to do anything about it, but they have those feelings, and that’s part of the grieving process, or depression often. Don’t stay there. Don’t camp out there, but realize that’s part of it.
And then they’ll often say the last stage is acceptance, or the biblical way is comfort. We’ll talk about it in a little bit here. But when you accept their passing, does it mean you don’t love them? Or does it mean you love them any less? The fact that you’re accepting it—they’re saved, they’re up in heaven. They want you to accept it. They know God allowed it for a reason. They want you to accept it. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them any less.
I was at the funeral home. I told one of the funeral home people, and they were telling me of a man that every day he would stop by the cemetery—every single day. They said, “I can’t remember the time…” And this is what the lady worker said: She said, “I can’t believe…” and then she almost like was embarrassed that she had said her feelings, but she said, “I can’t believe his wife put that on him.” And she told him with her story before she passed: “She told him, ‘Look, if I pass, you better visit me every day. Every single day I want you to visit me.’” And friend, no, some of the loves you want you to accept and move on. You love someone; you want what’s best for them. And she would let me know she wasn’t very sad that that wife had put that on that guy. He was trying to live up to that. It’s all right to accept it. God has allowed that for a reason.
Now, it’s the thing of accepting it and getting to the point where you’re… get some comfort or whatnot. Sometimes they’ll come, boom, praise the Lord, God just—sometimes it’s just a very slow thing, more often than not. But there are stages of grieving, and not everybody’s the same. Not everybody’s going to go through the same stage at the same time. It’s not always going to be just steps set. You’re going to go back and relapse, relive it, and healing’s going to come in God’s time.
But number one, “Blessed are they that”—help me out—“Blessed are they that what?” Mourn. So it’s right, Jesus is saying, to mourn. Now, remember there? Whatever the thing is in your life—maybe you had a great career and you lost it and it’s gone and it’s over and you’ll never be there, the dreams you have are never going to happen—it’s all right to mourn for them. “Blessed are they that mourn.” It’s right to mourn. Okay.
Now, something about that verse. Are you looking at it there? Let’s just get a little technical for a second here. Look at that verse right there, Matthew 5, verse number four. He says, “Blessed are they that mourn.” It’s what you do, not what you become. “Blessed are they that mourn.” It does not say, “Blessed are they that are mournful.” There’s a difference here. It’s right; Jesus told us to mourn, but I’m not supposed to spend all my life—and it’s not supposed to be my identity for the rest of my life—that I’m a mournful person. Not what you become, as what you do.
Can I say just a few words about this saying? Maybe you’re not there right now, maybe one day you will be, but I hope you won’t be. But if we live long, all of us will be there somewhat. But can I say this: If you’re mourning, the world still keeps turning. If you have a spouse, they still need you. If you have kids, they’re not going to stop growing up. I understand you mourn, and it’s right to mourn. But the world keeps going, and I have to be aware of that. I don’t want my family to fall apart with the family I have left.
It’s right to mourn, we’re going to get there even more touch more in this moment here, but I’m not to be mournful. I’d spend my life… I see Brother Dill, and Brother Dill lost his wife of a lifetime, too. So many people I’ll miss, and I apologize. I think of a lady that had lost her son, and it just dominated her life. And she could not function. She could not be what her husband needed—and he was trying to be gracious—but it was just going on so long, and she couldn’t be anything her husband needed or for other kids and so on and so on. And a wise man told her, “Look, I want you to go every day into your son’s room. And I want you to get the pictures out. I want you to get his letterman’s jacket out and whatnot. And I want you to just cry and mourn and ache and hurt there. Then I want you to go out of the room, and I want you to serve somebody. And I want you to go make some cookies and take it to a nursing home somewhere. And I want you to love your husband. I want you to take care of the other kids.” And that’s right to mourn. But I must realize the world goes on, and I don’t want to be mournful all the time. It becomes my identity for the rest of my life.
I think about a lady I met; she had lost her daughter. She was in her 20s. It was a very sad situation. And she had just started going back to work, and it was making her mad. And I understand she was hurting so bad. It was making her mad that she’d go to work when others were laughing around her. They weren’t laughing at her, but she was hurting so bad she wanted the world to kind of stop. And I understand her feelings, but the world doesn’t do that. And I must realize that. And the world still moves on even though you’re in crisis. It’s understandable you’re in crisis. Don’t go into seclusion. That—I’ll be honest—I really think this would be my temptation: just to go away from the whole world. And there’s a danger there. Satan loves to get us in darkness, just in alone, in some corner. That’s where he has his field day. Now, I’m not saying you don’t need some time alone. I’m not saying that at all, but be so careful of just going into seclusion.
By the way, praise the Lord for a good church family. I mean, so many have done a wonderful job of reaching out to people when they’re grieving and mourning. And I think about Brother Donnie. Brother Donnie, Brother Bartley—just a big old fellow, you know. You wouldn’t think of Brother Donnie being a comforting guy, but I think Brother Donnie called Brother Glenn every day for, I don’t know how long. And other people have mentioned how Brother Donnie has done things like that for them when they’re grieving. And praise the Lord, many of you do those things. Many of you. And it’s so good and so right. And praise the Lord for a loving church family when you’re going through grieving. Just some things about: Don’t become mournful.
We sorrow, but we sorrow with hope. Okay, if you want to look over there, 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, keep your finger there in Matthew, but 1 Thessalonians chapter 4 and verse number 13. And it kind of goes along with the people that say, “Well, the day of death is better than death, so get over it and be happy at a funeral.” You’ll hear those things. This verse here adds a little light maybe on that. 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, would you look at verse number 13? 1 Thessalonians 4, verse number 13. He said, “But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep.” That’s those that have passed, saved people. “But ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.”
Now, I sorrow, but I don’t sorrow as others that have no hope. He goes on and explains when Jesus comes back, He’s going to bring those loved ones back with Him. You’re going to have a grand reunion day when Jesus Christ comes back. So I sorrow with hope. Do I sorrow? Oh, it’s right to sorrow, but I sorrow with hope, see? Can I say this? While I’m grieving, don’t turn away from God. Turn to God. Don’t seclude yourself from the Lord himself. You can do that.
If you’re there, wonderful, wonderful verse. Would you look over in Psalms 27 very quickly tonight? We won’t be much longer, but Psalm 27—would you look at verse number 13? I tried to find out exactly what was going on in David’s life. I know David penned in Psalm 27 what was going on in his life, and really, nobody has a concrete answer on it, so I don’t know what it was. But the last—these verses here—just wonderful verses of Psalm 27. And he must have been going through a reminiscing about one of the worst days of his life. Would you look at this, Psalm 27? Look at verse number 13. Psalm 27, verse number 13: “I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”
David said, “I would have fainted. I’d have given up and quit. I’d have fainted, just fell apart and fell down. I’d have fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” He couldn’t see it then. Now, he believed one day he would see it. And when you’re grieving, you’re not going to see the goodness of God in the land of the living right here, but you believe to see it. And I’ll never—I’ll never get out of this. Okay, you’ll never fully heal until you get to heaven, but you believe to see the goodness of God in the land of the living.
The next verse is a good verse also. Verse number 14: “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord.” David said, “Man, I had—I gave up. I’d have just quit. I’d have threw in the towel,” but I believed one day I would see the goodness of God in the land of the living. I believed to see it. He didn’t see it. By the way, if you live for the Lord over the long haul, you will have some days like that. You can’t have the best Christian in all the world; you can’t have days like that. What do you do when you can’t see the goodness of God in the land of the living? You believe to see it. What about America? Of course, we got good news right now from Virginia, but we could get there a little bit in America. You believe to see the goodness of God in the land of the living.
Now, number one, we said, “Blessed are they that”—help me out—“Blessed are they that what?” Mourn. Number two, we said, don’t become mournful. It’s something you do; it’s right to do. “Blessed are they that mourn.” The third thing here, back over there, Matthew 5, in that verse before. You’re still there. You probably know the verse by heart. Matthew 5, verse before. Help me when I stop, if you would: “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be what?”
Now look, friend, here’s a wonderful thing about it: That’s not something you generate. It doesn’t say, “All right, mourn for a while, then comfort yourself.” It doesn’t say that. “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Someone else is: “They shall.” By the way, “shall”—I learned it from David Humphries years ago—“will,” if God says something will happen, you can count on what’s going to happen. But “shall” is even stronger. If God says that shall happen, you guarantee it—I mean, cross your heart, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye type of thing—it’s going to happen. Stronger than “shall.” And God says, “You mourn, blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.” It’s God’s word. God’s the one to make sure His word is always fulfilled. Now, it’s in God’s time, God’s way. It’s not always going to look the way exactly you want it to happen, but you can bank on God’s word. God said, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.” God promised you that. God put His word; He put it in writing for you, whatever your situation is—you’re mourning, a bad childhood, whatever it may be, whatever it is. “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
2 Corinthians 1, verse number 3: wonderful verse. “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort.” I looked out and saw one of our dear people, and his spouse had a miscarriage, and they wanted another child so bad. And it’s right to mourn over those things. It’s right to mourn. In God’s time, God’s way. “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall”—shall be comforted. God’s time, God’s way. He’s a God of all comfort.
Now, let me say this about this verse here: The comfort comes after the mourning. If I just want to be a tough guy, a super Christian, never mourn? No, comfort comes after the mourning. It’s right to mourn. It’s right to hurt. Whether you shed tears, it’s going to be so different how you mourn than everybody else. But after I mourn, then the comfort comes.
By the way, Jesus left heaven and He came down to earth. Let me just read it for you. It’s speaking of an Old Testament prophecy, speaking of Jesus, coming to Isaiah 61:1. And Jesus says—it’s prophecy about Jesus—“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn.” One of the reasons Jesus left heaven and came down to earth, He says, is to comfort all that mourn. Jesus came for you to bring your comfort. You’re mourning, you’re hurt, and the tears, and it’s just the deep pain you hurt. Sometimes you hurt so bad, you can feel it in your heart. Jesus came to comfort all who mourn.
Now, here’s the wonderful thing: When Jesus gives you that comfort, He likes you to use it. Look over, if you will, at 2 Corinthians chapter 1, 2 Corinthians 1, verse number 4. God’s Word. 2 Corinthians 1, verse number 4. If you’re there, what do you say? Amen.
Look at what He says: “Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” You see, God, more often than not, God doesn’t just give to you or want to give just to you. He wants to give through you. And He gives you comfort. And He says, “I want you to take all that comfort. And yes, yes, use it for you. Then I want you to pass it down to others.” And God says that comfort I gave you, hey, pass along to somebody else.
Friend, if someone said, “Well, you ought to just rejoice at a funeral,” you don’t have to preach back at him. They’ll say, “All right.” Maybe in the back of your head you say, “All right, well, we’ll see how you do when you lose the one you love the most in the world.” It’s right to mourn. It’s right to mourn. Jesus said mourn. Now, I don’t want to be mournful. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life there. I don’t want to camp out there. I don’t want to have a pity party and suck my thumb until I suck it off, you know. I don’t want to go on the corner for the rest of my life and just mourn, mourn, mourn, mourn, mourn. In God’s time, in God’s way, you mourn. But here’s a wonderful promise. Jesus said it: “Blessed are they that mourn.” It’s Jesus, God talking. “For they shall be comforted.” God’s promise. It’s always true.
Maybe you’re here tonight and you just say, you know, I want to be faithful. I’m grieving something. Maybe it’s something I would never dream what it is in your life. And I’m grieving. I’m worrying something. But I want to stay faithful. I don’t want to turn away. I want the best I can. I want to be gracious to myself. But the best I can, I want to be faithful. So many of you have been such a great, incredible testimony to me of that. I preach while I’m going through the grief, and I want to remain faithful with the Lord Jesus Christ the best they can. God spoke to my heart about that. That’s you tonight.
Maybe you’re here tonight and you say, “Preacher, I want to take all the comfort God gives me, and I want God to use it in somebody else’s life. His way, His time. If I’m going to go through this, I’m praying, Lord, would You use it to help somebody else? Would You give me comfort? I like to pass it. I like someone else to get help and hope out of it.” That’s my heart, that’s my desire. Lord, between me and You, I want You to know I would love for a whole lot of people get help and hope out of this thing that I’m going through, the comfort You give me. I’ll do my best to share it with others. Is that for you tonight?
Father, thank You for Your word. Thank You for making it clear what You mean, Lord. Thank You, Jesus, for Your promise, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Thank You for that. We claim that promise tonight. We love You, Lord, and Jesus now we pray. Amen.
Original File: It Is Ok to Grieve - Pastor Paul Chisgar Wednesday PM 110321