Walking in the land of triggers
Category: Suffering, Trials & Burdens
Key Passage: Proverbs 18:4
Speaker: Paul Chisgar
Date: June 7, 2024
Turn your Bible, if you would, to Proverbs chapter 18, Proverbs chapter 18 in God’s Word this morning.
We’re going to do a series, just for a bit, just a short series on dealing with baggage. Can I just be honest? We all have some baggage. Some more than others. All right, we’ll be honest about it, but we all got some baggage. Everybody does. And we’re going to do just a short series on that this morning. We’re going to start off with this topic this morning: Walking in the Land of Triggers.
And, you know, in Vietnam, they used to put those booboo, boob—not booboo—booby traps, yeah, that’s it. I’m all cattymops this morning, man. Hey, let your wife hit you in the nose and see how you do, man. I’ll tell you what, now, you know.
Walking in the land of triggers. That’s when your nose gets hit, amen, you know, and you set off a trigger. But I do. And it’s a little bit heavier subject, if you will, but I felt all week, maybe before this week, just this is where the Lord has to go. And it really could make the difference sometimes in a couple having a good marriage or fighting all the time.
Or our marriage ends in divorce or making it. And sometimes it can be the difference of something turning out to be a huge fight for weeks. Or, yes, you know, we never have fights at our house. We have emotional moments, you know. Very emotional moments, you know. But it really could make the difference. It could make the difference than someone. Maybe it’s single, and you kind of understanding yourself and what’s going on and being able to relate to people and grow beyond where you’re at. And so I pray it should kind of just listen with your heart this morning and ask the Lord to speak to your heart this morning.
We’re going to start over in Proverbs 18, one verse, verse number four. Proverbs 18, verse number four of God’s Word. Would you please stand just to show the Word of God in respect? We like to give God’s Word all the respect we can. It deserves it. And Proverbs 18:4, if you’re there, would you say, “Amen?” Good deal.
He says right there, “The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters.” And it didn’t just say there’s like waters, a lot of things going on down there, but he says deep waters. They’re saying these things because something deep down in there is going on. “The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters,” and this is interesting, “and the wellspring.” Let’s stop for a second. Talk about the wellspring.
How many ever been out in the country where they bring that well digger? And basically that’s, you know, just a truck that beats the pipe down in the ground, you know? Anybody ever seen? Some call it witchcraft. I don’t know. I’ve never done it. I’ve seen it done out in the country, you know, but they get that wishbone stick—there’s a name for it, I don’t know what it’s called—but you hold it just right, and it’ll tap, and it’ll tap how many feet down in the ground the water is. And they say there’s a reason for it chemically. You can do all the research, but I haven’t seen it work, I will say that. That’s where those old country well diggers would find out where the water was, how deep down it was. But anyway, then they have to pound that pipe in the ground to get a well, if you will. They dig deep enough to find deep water. Okay. So he says the well, then he says spring.
Well, that’s interesting. You’ve got a well, you’ve got to get down to the well where the water is. Well, the old well where they had to, you know, you look down there and all that. You watch bananas, and you’ve seen it before now, you know, all that. Well, at least your older people have, the well. And then he says spring. Spring makes you think the water, you know, it’s coming up. When I was a boy, there was a spring on the side of a mountain, and people come from all over the place. They would bring, you know, they would bring so many milk jugs—remember them? They’d be empty, of course, when they’d come. They’d have a rope tied through the handle, and they’d just be dragging behind 20 or 30, you know, gallon jugs, and then they’d fill up with that spring of water. And they’d take that water home. But a well, you dig deep down to the deep waters, and then you get a spring out of there. You get some water out there.
Look at the rest of the verse here: “Words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters and the wellspring of wisdom.” What do you get out of that? Man, you get a lot of wisdom. What in the world’s going on? I got some wisdom now. “And the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.” I can understand where all these words are coming from because someone’s taken time to dig down deep enough to get the spring. You get wisdom out of that.
Look in chapter number 20, chapter number 20, verse number five. Proverbs 20 and verse number five. Counsel. And I say, I say, I say, you’re canceling that check or count—I say it all the same way. I’m a hillbilly, all right. My wife would say, “This is how you say that word.” I said, “Good to say it, you know, you go ahead and say it there, you know.” All right. Counsel, am I saying that counsel? Am I saying it right? Yes, sir. I’m glad. You got me thinking about it now. I’m like, I’m saying it right now. “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water.”
Now, typically, and I think it’s correct, typically we’ll think if you go to someone and you get counsel from them, and sometimes you’ve got to dig it out of them. And I believe that’s true, but I believe not only that, but sometimes you go to someone for counsel. If they’re a wise individual, sometimes they’ve got to dig out of you what’s going on. So I want you to think a little bit like that. “Counseling in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Now, just for a little bit, just for a little bit, we’re short on time a little bit this morning. We’ll be out of here by 2 p.m., I promise you. But just for a little bit, this saying, “Walking in the land of triggers”—would you ask the Lord to kind of give us light and understanding through this saying? Father Lord, I pray that you would, Lord, help people this morning. Father, if I have in me a desired impression, you know, preach a good message to all that, Lord, please take all that away. That’s foolishness. I do pray that somebody gets helped. Lord, you know better than either the burdens and the people and the problems and situations here this morning. And Father, give them what they need. Lord, give them understanding and give them just light into their situation, so many. And Lord, like only you can, give them what they need. And Lord, thank you for what you do. And we ask for this, Father, in the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen. Thank you so much for staying. You may be seated.
As a teenager, I worked for a man named Randy Sykes. I had a very important job. It was called push the lawnmower and pull the weeds. Amen, you know. And weed-eat everyone’s smile. You know, that’s my job. And I still remember him saying, “Now, Paul, I want you to weed this flower bed, and I want you to pull all the grass and everything out of it.” And he said, “I don’t want you just to pull the grass out because if you pull the grass out without getting the roots, it’s going to come back real soon.” Praise the Lord. I worked for another man a little bit later on, and he used stuff called Roundup. Somebody say amen right there. But he said, “Now, Paul, this is in Florida. He said this: A lot of this grass is called nut grass because if you get the root—if you feel a little bit in the root—you’ll find you’ll feel a little nut. And if you don’t get the nut out of there, the grass is going to come right back. A couple weeks down the road, we’re going to be pulling grass again. So I want you to make sure you get the root.”
I kind of just for a moment—I think after all, I don’t know, 33, 34 years of preaching, been married for 30 years, got a couple black eyes, broke noses, you know, and all that—but after all that, I’m convinced so often we’re dealing with the grass in relationships and not dealing with roots. And if we’re not careful, we can get the grass. We can cut the grass. But a couple weeks down the road, or a month or a year down there, the root comes up again. And I’m going to try for just a bit. Let’s try to get to the root.
Let me use this as an illustration. I brought this in this morning, and Brother Patrick said, “Man, what are you doing? Construction on the church or something?” you know? I got just an old two-by-four, just a regular old two-by-four, got a frame and hammer, and I’m going to take this—hopefully I’m a good hit, amen—and I’m just going to hit it pretty hard, so it’s going to be loud, okay? But I want you to see something that happens. Let’s see. Okay, some people just woke up. What about that, man? Praise the Lord. Somebody’s false teeth fell out a little bit, too. We’re still good, though, you know?
Now, I want you to notice the impact. There’s an impression on that piece of wood that will be there for life. You can soak it in water. It may take it out a little bit, but it’s going to be there. It’s just going to be on that piece of wood for life. By the way, if you feel younger, a lot of times our developmental years when our children are softer wood. And that’s very important when you’re dealing with these things.
But, friend, we all in some capacity have trauma. We have impacts, we have things that have hit us, and they leave an impression on us for life. It may be Mom and Dad got a divorce. Dad walked out. It may be abuse: physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse. And by the emotional abuse, sometimes can be the worst because it’s, you know, physical abuse, man, you know, I remember that bruise. Emotional can be very tricky, very hard to deal with. But these, these, it… And I got to clarify, and we’re going to go through this year, I’m not trying to make you or get us to play victim. No, no, no, no, no. I don’t want you to be the victim for the rest of your life. I want you to go past it. But I must deal with issues. And I must realize sometimes life hits me so hard—your mom died from cancer when you were 10, whatever it is. Your first spouse cheated on you. I look at someone and their sibling died when they were younger. And so many things, it leaves an impression on you that lasts for life.
Now, and so here’s the thing: as you’re going through life, things will trigger you back to these major traumas in your life. Let me give a couple of illustrations here, a couple of examples. I think of a situation where a married couple now—great people, great people, great people. The wife in her first marriage, her husband cheated on her. Well, that’s, you call that major trauma. All right. So she’s married now to a good, godly man. Both great couple, great couple. But let’s just say that the husband now, he just—he doesn’t mean to be sinful, but he wasn’t wise. And he talked too long to a lady and other ladies. And he didn’t mean anything bad. He was a little bit dumb. Everybody has a little dumb, dumb, dumb, red across the forehead, everyone in a smile. You don’t talk about it now? Come on, don’t act like I’m the only one out there. Y’all have been there before now, you know? Yeah. And here’s the thing. So we’ll say on a scale of one to a hundred, he… We’ll say as an offense, number five on a one to a hundred. But as the wife, she goes ballistic. I mean, it’s a scale of 20,000, you know. She lets him have it for weeks. She’s going to use a hammer on him, amen. Come on, buddy. And it’s not that way. It’s going to be like that, you know.
And if you’re not careful, you’re like, “What in the world’s going on? Why are you so—what’s going on?” And you see all these emotions and feelings that are coming up that are deep down in there. Yeah, a wife’s going to be ticked off. You shouldn’t have been talking about that lady so long. That’s a dumb thing. But these major emotions are not coming from that instant right there. That just triggered this right here.
So all that hurt in those nights of sleeplessness and the pain where she felt like her heart was going to fall out of her chest and she couldn’t breathe and all that emotion that’s coming back up because he did this little thing—no, because that little thing triggered her back to that big thing. You all with me out there? And the guy’s not careful, he’s like, “Man, I’m married to a crazy woman.” No, you’re married to someone that has baggage just like you got baggage, unless you live in a perfect world. That’s not going to happen till heaven. Maybe the dad walked out on your mom, and you’re in one of those—like we never have fights, we just have those emotional moments. You’re an emotional moment, you know. And the guy thinks he’s doing a good thing. Well, instead of this thing getting bad, I’m going to walk out and cool off. And he walks out, and his wife like, “Hey,” you know, and all the rest of that. I was trying to help the guy, he says. But he took his wife back to when she was a girl and Dad walked out. You understand triggers? You were molested by a teen boy, so if you see a teen boy flirt with a girl, it takes you back. You understand where I’m coming from?
You had a mom that belittled you and just put you down and made you feel like less of a man and all, would just belittling you in front of people. And so your wife, she didn’t mean anything by it. She just cracked a little joke. She didn’t mean anything by it. “Why in the world are you mad? You close up. You won’t talk to anybody. You kind of go in that corner for three weeks and you won’t be close. You won’t open up. There’s nothing she could do to get you to open up.” And “What in the world is wrong with you? I didn’t mean anything bad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” “What in the world are you doing?” Well, it’s not that little joke; it’s what it took him back to.
Well, that guy could never please his mom and dad. Anything he did, they always criticized. They tried to do some things right. And overly—a mom and dad should correct, that’s part of being parents—but just overly, always putting dad if they did anything, “You can’t do anything right. I’ll tell you about the dumbest kid in the world,” you know, all the rest of that. And always, they tried to do something, never couldn’t do it good enough. And so the guy, he does something around the house, and the wife, she just—she’s not trying to be mean—she just said, “Well, maybe if it had did this way, it’d have been a little bit better.” Man, it sets him off. I mean, you understand? I’m all right. Maybe I shouldn’t have gave a suggestion as a bad time, but what in the world? Why are you being so crazy? Why aren’t you trying to shoot back at me and hurt me every angle you can? Where’s all those bitterness coming out? Why are you just kind of throwing up on me for? It’s not necessarily your comment, but it takes him back that he was trying to please, and he never could.
Friend, I’m just saying there are triggers. Walking through the land of triggers. Life has many of those. Just a couple things about it. We’re going to go through this series in coming weeks. But let me just say, right off the bat, talking about this, “Walking through the land of triggers”: accept the fact that you have triggers. We all have them. But when I accept it, then there’s potential for me to grow beyond it, where, okay, it might shake my world a little bit, but I can kind of keep functioning. I can grow beyond it. I can learn what’s going on. I’m not, you know, not trying to be a victim for the rest of my life, but I can kind of—I can deal with it. But I’ve got to accept it.
Look, if you will, over in Proverbs 13. Proverbs 13. And look in verse number 10, if you would. And verse number 10. We quote a portion of this verse often, and it’s rightfully so, but let’s look at the whole verse here. Proverbs 13, and look in verse number 10 right there. Proverbs 13, and verse number 10 there. The Bible says, “Only by pride comes contention.” I mean, that’s tough. Every time I want to have a good fight with my wife, the Holy Spirit convicts me with that verse right there. What about that, you know? Y’all got to laugh a little bit. Come on now, you know. Either you’re not getting my jokes or you’re convicted. I don’t know, you know. But “Only by pride comes contention.” But look at the rest of that verse: “But with the well-advised is wisdom.”
I used to think—I used to think, “Only by pride comes contention.” I get that. But why? But with the well-advised is wisdom. Why does he put that kind of in the last part of this verse, the contrast? But with the well-advised is wisdom. Because after you got some advice, you’ve been well advised, you’ve lived life long enough, you’ve seen it, and you do it humbly, you realize, “I got issues too. I got triggers too. I got problems too.” Why my—only my pride? Why? I was wrong with you. Doing now what you’re so crazy, you’re out there, you know. If you do that, you know they’re going to be contention. But when you say, “You know what? I got my own problems,” with the well-advised is some wisdom. Man, I got my issues too. So just talking about this saying of the land of triggers, it’s just accept you have triggers. We all have some, worse than others, yes, but we have them. And it’s good just kind of hold up, realize, “Well, I got issues there,” you know. And I don’t want to live my life, you know, pouting over it, sucking my thumb over it, but I want to grow from it, become better from it.
Can I just say here: your past does affect you. Now, it doesn’t give you an excuse. I’m not for, you know, “Well, they burned that house down in the neighborhood, but they were all right in doing it because when they were a little baby, their mom thought that up to 30 pounds meant what you put inside of the diaper, not how much the child weighed,” you know. And so they’re justified in burning that house down. You don’t know what I’ll talk about there. No, I’m not talking about making excuses, but I’m talking about there’s legit—your past does affect you.
I always thought it was interesting with Moses and Miriam. Remember that? Moses and then his sister Miriam, she began to complain and lead a little bit of revolt against Moses and saying, “Well, Moses’ wife,” and all that. And God didn’t put up with that. Remember that? And Miriam ended up with leprosy. Remember that? And God, boy, he got on to her. Remember what happened? Then the Lord talked to Moses and said, “Hey, you got to put her outside the camp for a bit.” You know, she’s going to come back in. There’s a little bit to all that. We’re not going to get into that this morning, but there’s something to that. But the Lord said this, and I’m going to read it before you to Moses about Miriam in the situation. Number 12:14. And the Lord said unto Moses, “If her father had but spit in her face…” And you’re like, “Whoa.” And there’s a tradition there. There’s a little—it was a discipline thing that happened at the time. In other words, God’s saying, Moses, if her dad would have disciplined her like she needed, like, then today she wouldn’t be like that. Now, I’m saying that to say, to simply point out, the Lord was speaking here, and the Lord said what happened way back here affected what happened here. And that’s the Lord talking. I think the Lord knows what he’s talking about. I’m not trying to justify and play victim and make excuse, all that, but I’m just simply saying it does affect—there are, there are things that affect you today, see? And they do have a bearing on how you react and what goes on in your life.
And that’s very important to face and to admit. I think of a lady years ago, an older lady, and she’s dealing with just very much issues from way back in her past. And she didn’t want to admit that had anything to do with her in this day and time. And I remember her just mad and just, well, like, “It doesn’t bother me today.” Really? It was pretty much like that, too. My friend, it affects you. And I’m not saying that so you can make excuse. I keep going back there. But so you can grow past it, and you can learn from it, you can overcome it. That’s what we want. So very important.
Now, here’s important triggers: they take you back to the trauma, if you will. It’s very interesting—I don’t know this is always true. Some will say this is true. I think there’s some truth to it. But some will say, “Well, if you had this major trauma when you were 13, well, in some ways, emotionally maybe or socially, maybe some ways that’s when you stop growing because of such a wound; you don’t want to deal with it, and you didn’t grow beyond that, mature in that area.” And I’m not saying that has to be true, but I’m just talking with you a little bit about this thing. But it’s very important for a trigger—you to realize, yes, it’s very important for you to identify what triggered you, but it’s very important for you to identify what it triggered you back to. See? Because if you’re not careful, you’ll be dealing with the trigger, and that’s the grass. We’re not dealing with the root. And the grass will have come up a week or two, a month later. It’s very important that it’s a deal. Yes, identify this triggered me, but then identify what it triggered you back to.
And sometimes, I think this happens so often. I was talking with someone recently. We were talking about what couples get fights over. And they had some good ones. I can’t remember them all. But I mentioned a couple, they got in a fight over Kool-Aid, you know? It wasn’t Jim Jones’ Kool-Aid either, you know. And we were just talking about the crazy things people get—can I say?—and we were agreeing. And whoever was I was talking about it, it’s not necessarily the Kool-Aid situation, but are something deeper going on. And that’s very key that if I can find out what those things are about…
I’ll never forget—you’ve heard me talk about it, many of you have—but I lost my fingers, you know. It’s been 31—it’s been 31. It was in 2022? No, not '22, 1992. You do the math, amen, you know. 31 years, 31 years. I lost fingers, I can’t count, you know. And after the accident, I was all right. I really was. And I was single at Bible College, and so I had sympathy and cards and food coming in from single girls. So I was all right at the moment. Now, we’re out of Christian College, so nothing inappropriate there, you know. But I was all right, and it really was. I knew God had a reason for it. But it was all right. But it was all right. But it’s amazing when I would try to go to sleep at nighttime, my mind would start reliving this thing. And I literally, I would see this blade coming down, this machine coming down, cut my fingers up. I’d just see it over and over. It’s crazy how your mind works. It really is. My mind would put this huge metal block in there, and it would stop the blade from coming down to my fingers. But you’re trying to sleep. I’m like, “I’ve got to get some sleep here,” you know. And this accident just kept going through my mind.
The only way I could sleep for a while, I would listen. I can’t remember which one was first. It was back in the day when they had the boom boxes, you know, and had the dual cassette tapes. Man, you were hip if you had that right there now, you know. Brother Chip, you were hip. Well, you’re on the ball, man, you know. And I had one of those in my dorm room. And I had my own room at that time, which is good. But I could put the Bible in and music here, Christian, good, spirit-filled music. I can’t remember which was first. Maybe it was the music and then then the Bible. But I’d put that on and just with it, two tapes playing, you know, the one playing through and then shifting over to the other. I could fall asleep a lot of times. I just—I just kept…
So I went to my boss. I wasn’t working, you know, for the first bit after my accident, and went to my boss and said, “Hey, boss.” We had first, second shift at that job. Midnight, second shift’s over. They closed down the company. It didn’t have a third shift, and they would reopen the next morning. I said, “Hey, boss.” That was his name. Everybody called him Boss, amen. He was a good guy. So, Richard, something—he was just his boss, you know. Anyway, I said, “Hey, boss, I called him and talked to him. I said, ‘Boss, I want to come up to work, and would you stay a little bit after midnight, and I want to go back there, and I want to use that machine again?’” And Boss says, “Like, you sure you want to do that?” “Yeah, I feel like I need to do that.” So sure enough, he let everybody go. Shift was over. He stayed a bit longer, and I came up there about midnight that night. And I went back to where I lost my fingers. Just as I’m walking up to that machine, and as I’m walking up to that, and I turned it on, it made a certain sound. And when I turned that machine on, I felt that—or I heard that sound—and I was touching the machine, it was like I was reliving the night. Literally, the thing that always amazes me: the same smell that I smelled the night I got my fingers cut off, I smelled the same exact thing that night. Everything was like it was happening all over again. But after that night, I could sleep.
And we’ll talk about that in the coming weeks, but I want to just, for a minute, just talk about how when I went back there, all the same feelings—the numbness. Somebody said, “It didn’t hurt when you got your fingers cut off?” No, it was wonderful. It was great. No, honestly, the first minute, you’re just numb all over. And that same numbness came back. The same thoughts, the same feelings, the same eye movement, the best I can tell, the same smell—everything came back. Now, that’s what happens when someone gets triggered. They’re going back to a place that resembles in some way the scenario of when they had major trauma. And so the same old feelings, emotions, thoughts, smells, everything comes back. And it’s called the land of the triggers. And it’s very important, yes, to identify what triggered, but it’s very important to go back to what is triggering you to.
Now, identify, learn to identify that. Let me just put some questions out real quickly here. We’ve got to hurry along. We’re about halfway through this sermon, and we’re getting close to noon, you know. Not to midnight, to noon. How about that? That nose, I tell you for sure. Maybe ask some of these questions: Am I triggered or not? Would you usually keep a cleaned house, and you haven’t cleaned it for a week? You usually do pretty good with that besetting sin, but it’s just like you’re tempted everywhere you turn now. What’s a good chance? You’re triggered. You have closed off to the world, to everybody and anybody. I mean, you just—you’ve closed all the doors, the shutters, or everything’s just sealed off. You’ve got 14 different deadbolts on one door, and they’re all locked, and nobody’s going to get in. You won’t communicate. You’re just probably triggered. Are you overly independent? Sometimes if you’re triggered, you’re just going to control mechanism. You want to be controlled, everybody, everything around you, because that way you might not get hurt again. And there are signs. There are signs. It can affect it different ways, different times. But learn to identify. “I’m acting a little weird. Maybe I was overreacting.” You think so? They got ice picks in both their eyes. You think so, you know?
Satan loves to get us alone. When you get there, he’ll do that. And to just get us where, can I say, you think, “Oh, maybe I am triggered. I’ve been tempted by that thing and my besetting sin, and it’s back, and it’s been held in me. And I thought I was doing so good, but man, it’s just back.” And I just—how many people they’ll overcome, whatever, whatever it may be. I think of a man, and it’s—and I don’t—it’s not me on him, but he just—he just, I want to—and he’ll do pretty good, and I don’t know, but I think he just gets triggered and boom. But whatever it may be, but that temptation is back, and there’s a good chance of your trigger.
When you’re there, can I say this? First of all, get to the Lord. Get to God. Don’t run from him. Don’t close yourself off in the rest of the world. Don’t pout about it. Just get to the Lord. Cry out for mercy. “Lord, I don’t know what’s going on. I’m all cattywampus. I need your help.” Get to the—do your best. Seek the Lord. I mean, just intensely seek God. “I got to have you.” I think David would get triggered. I think he was excellent at going after the Lord in those times. Man, he would just seek the Lord like nobody’s business. A man after God’s own heart.
Then let me say this: trust those that have proven they’re trustworthy. They’ve earned your trust. They’re not trying to manipulate you. They’re not trying to abuse you. They’re not trying to hurt you. And they’ve earned your trust. Trust them. You probably need some help during that time. It may be your spouse. It may be a wonderful thing. That verse we just read: “A man of understanding will draw it out.” Let someone that has earned your trust help you draw it out. Identify the trigger and what it takes you back to.
Okay, maybe you were molested when you were young. Nobody did anything about it. That’s sometimes worse than the molestation. And a coworker told you about her neighbor that got molested and nobody did anything about it. And you just go throughout your day. You’re like, “Why am I—I was doing so good on my diet. Anybody out there? I wasn’t eating what I’m not supposed to eat. But now I’m eating everything I’m not supposed to eat.” Come on now. Y’all got to be honest with me on that one right there now, you know. I’m there too much myself, you know. And sometimes you go, “Wait, when did I get off track? When did it get out of whack?” Well, I heard a story that kind of took me back to the machine, if you will. But you must identify what it takes you back to.
By the way, typically when you’re trying to figure it out, if you hit the taproot, the emotion that comes up—well, if I’m dealing with someone and we’re trying to figure out what’s going on, usually when you hit the taproot, they start crying a lot of times. And they start sobbing sometimes, and they can’t talk. And I’m like, “Oh, we’d probably hit a taproot right there.” And it may be anger. It may be a lot of different things that comes up. But typically when you hit the taproot, like, “Well, we’re tying into something here.” But you’re trying to go back to what it is. Learn to identify when you or those you love are triggered. Monitor yourself. Okay, my emotions really are probably about 10,000, and it really wasn’t quite that bad what she did, he did. And you learn, “Okay, I’m a little off the charts.” It’s humbling to admit at that point, “All right, I’m a little bit unrealistic right now.” But it’s good to identify it.
Be careful when you’re there. If you’re not careful, what happens—this is what happens so often: when you get triggered back to this realm right here, I think of a man in our church, and I was going to mention this couple weeks ago, and he just kind of—maybe the Lord will just bring it up—but he had, years and years ago, he had accidentally killed his best friend, or one of his great friends. And it never really did with him. Well, he was affected his marriage, his childhood rearing, and all that. God—God got a hold of that taproot. And when he identified it, let me just—here’s what we want to get to. Here’s what happens a lot of times: when something happens and it takes you back to that, if you’re not careful, you hurt those you love. You’ve heard it said, “Hurt people hurt people,” you know. You heard about the dog? It’s a true story about a dog that family had this dog for years and years. It was the daughter’s dog. Where the daughter grew up, moved out, and I think maybe one of the parents—I can’t remember the whole story—had backed up out of the driveway and accidentally ran over the dog. But the dog got ran over. So they called the daughter, said, “Hey, your dog got hit, your dog’s hurt,” and all that. And the daughter came rushing home, you know, and they were bonded there. And she went down to help her dog, and her dog bit her. Man, they were—you know? And if you’re not careful when you get triggered, you’ll bite your spouse that loves you so much. And so it’s very important for me to—and that’s what was going on there with that situation. But it’s very important to kind of—or I need to identify what’s going on. I need to allow people that’s earned my trust to have a part in this.
Let me say this: we’ve got to close this thing out, but don’t use triggers to justify. Man, if you’re flirting with a woman, don’t say, “Well, you’re just out of control because of what happened in your past.” No, you’re not—not flirting with that woman. Don’t use this stuff to justify your sin. I want to get that in there at least. Don’t manipulate. When you can lovingly help those that you can when they’re triggered, and sometimes you can’t go up and say, “Hey, you’re triggered.” Well, that’s probably going to trigger them worse. Love them.
I think about a mom I talked to just recently. She said, “It’s amazing. I’m just now beginning to figure out, it’s like my daughter’s internal clock. When this time of the year comes around, that’s when she was molested years ago, she just flips her lid.” And it’s like an internal clock, and that trauma, you know. When that mom’s growing, she said, “I’m learning. My daughter just flips her lid.” What about those war heroes? They come home, and in the middle of the night, they’re sleeping, and they have that dream, and they—they—they—you’ve heard of guys that were in combat. They hear fireworks go off, and they just drop to the ground. Or they wake up in the middle of the night, and they hit their life because they think they’re on the battlefield. And pray for wives and people that are wise enough to identify what’s going on.
It’s amazing, and I’ve got to close this thing out, but it’s amazing how God—excuse me—how Satan will put those triggers up at key times. He knows when and he will. And you’ve got to be so wise with what Satan’s doing. He’ll do it just at key times to divide a family, to cause a divorce, to hurt children. And he loves—he’s watching whom he may devour. Learning from it. Let me just close out. We’ll go back to some of this stuff, but let me just say this: God often—God often uses those that are wounded in great ways. It is amazing. It is amazing. Sometimes as I’ve gotten close to people that are my heroes and God’s used them greatly in my life and lives of others, I think, “Man, they’ve got everything together.” And the more I get to know them, the more I realize, “Man, they’re wounded.” God often uses those people so greatly. Can I say this? One reason why I think? Because they know I need God. I’m not strong enough. I’m not wise enough. I got so much baggage. I’ve got to have God. And they go so intensely after God. God uses them so greatly often because they get to God. They just—they just think, “I’ve got to have God.” And if we’re honest, we all got to have God. But they see it, they know it. They seek him with a passion.
And then let me say this: God often uses those wounded people so very much because they seek him with a passion, and then because they’re more apt to give God the glory at the end of the day when God blesses. They know it’s not all of them. Man, God’s the Lord. And God so often—it’s amazing to me how God—I think so many of our heroes in the Bible were wounded people, but they sought God like nobody’s business, and they gave God the glory.
Original File: Walking in the Land of Triggers - Pastor Paul Chisgar Dealing With Baggage 62523 Sunday AM