What God Wants for Your Family
Category: Family & Relationships
Key Passage: Genesis 2:18-25
Speaker: Paul Chisgar
Date: June 7, 2024
Turn your Bibles, if you would, to Genesis chapter number two. Genesis chapter number two. We were there this morning. We’ll continue on with that thought. But here’s the title of the thought tonight: What would God want to do in your family through COVID-19?
I want you to just ask the Lord that tonight. I want you to just kind of let him direct rightly to you, kind of put everything else, everybody else out. Can I say this? Even as we’re going to talk tonight some about marriage, can I just say this? You can’t change your spouse. So don’t be thinking about them and what you want them to get tonight. Don’t go there. Just focus on you: What does God want for you in your family? Think about that. Ask God to speak to your heart about that, if you would, please tonight.
We’re in Genesis chapter number two. We’re going to start reading in verse number 18 and we’ll finish the chapter out there tonight. Genesis two, verse number 18.
And would you please stand, if you’re able to, wherever you’re at? Let’s stand, and let’s just open God’s Word. Out of respect, we’ll stand as we read it. Genesis 2, verse number 18 of God’s Word.
And the Bible says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him an help meet.” That word “meet” means designed or fit—an help meet for him. “And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all the cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.”
“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.”
You heard the story about Adam having been out late naming all the animals, just been busy. He came home and he’s taking a nap. He woke up, Eve was just poking him and pushing on him. He said, “Eve, what in the world are you doing? I’m trying to take a nap. Why are you poking on me?” And she said, “Well, you’ve been staying out so late here lately. I wanted to make sure there’s not another rib missing.” You’ll get that after a while.
Now, we’re getting a little noise. I’m going to check one thing if you just bear with me to make sure we’re not getting some noise from this. All right, we’re good. We’re good. You thought service was over. That’s my brother Anthony was saying, “Amen” there. Now let’s keep going.
We’re in verse 23. “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
This COVID-19 has changed the world. We mentioned this morning, and I don’t want to belabor that point. I think you understand that. I agree with that. But can I just say a word or two here? If I’m not careful, I’ll get focused in on all the bad of it. And that’s part of it. There’s some bad there, and I understand that. And I think it’s right for us to look at it, and when we need to do something about it, to do something about it. I agree with that. But I also want to keep my eyes on the good. I choose to do what I need to about the bad and focus on that, but I choose to keep my focus on the Lord and on the good.
Can I say this? It’s been wonderful, even on our little side street, Misty Lane. It only has, I don’t know, six houses on it, maybe seven, I’m not sure. But the first time in years, we’ve seen bikes and kids and families out on our little street. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen kids just riding up and down our little street on bikes. I’ve been so happy about it.
I was out yesterday at a place I go to sometimes. It’s some time of the Lord there. It’s beside a river. I was in a boat coming down the river there, and I looked down. At first, I seen the guy in the back—it was one of those you got to keep your hand on the engine and turn the boat, you know. I seen him, and it looked like a man. I thought maybe two men, but sure enough, it was a man in the back, and then sure it looked like the husband in the back, and then the wife up front. I thought, well, that’s just great. I love it. Husband and wife, they’re out fishing together, whatever, on the boat. It’s still a little chill in there that I noticed with the wife up front. She had a little boy, oh, I don’t know, three or four-year-old boy, and she had him wrapped in her jacket. I just loved it. A husband, a dad, a wife, and their little boy. It’s great.
I was riding to church, I think it was this afternoon, and I was coming to a neighborhood, and I seen it looked like a dad and mom and two grown ladies. They look—I shouldn’t say girls, ladies—and they have their dog with them. It looked like just a family, and they were walking. I like that. I love it. I love to see families.
I’ve heard this—I haven’t seen this, I wouldn’t mind riding by it just to see it—but I’ve heard the greenways have been full of families. I think I’ve seen more families doing things together than I’ve seen in years. I’ve seen it so much in neighborhoods, and I rejoice in that. That’s wonderful. I’m so thankful for that. What a great thing that is.
You know, it makes me think—ever think about it back in the early days of America, whether it be the pioneer days or whatever? You realize a family could be out on their land, their farm. Sometimes they would not see anyone else besides family for weeks. That’s back in the day when you had preachers that would travel because people were so spread out in some places that they didn’t have a local church. And so a preacher would make a route. Once a month he would come, and everybody in that community would come together when the preacher’s in town. They’d have church. And I’m just saying sometimes it wasn’t uncommon for a family to be together without seeing anyone else for days, a week, sometimes even weeks.
But we’ve come so far from that. Our day and time is so different than that. If we’re not so careful, we’ll be so busy doing all the extras that the family doesn’t have time for itself. And maybe, maybe God, one of the things God would like to bring out of this, is that the families—the husbands and wives, the families—all the extras are kind of pushed away, and God’s peeled those back and said, “No, no, no, no, no. I don’t want you being all around. I want families to be together.”
In interest, look in verse number 18 right there. Look back there in verse number 18, if you would. Chapter 2, verse number 18. “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.” I will make him a group of men that he can fellowship with. I don’t mind. I like to fellowship with a group of good guys. I enjoy that. But friend, I’m glad God didn’t make a group of men for us to fellowship. He made a help meet.
Can I say this? Ladies, it doesn’t say, “And the Lord God said it’s not good for man to be alone. I will make him a help meet. And for her, I’ll give her a group of ladies that she can talk to all the time.” Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong for ladies to talk to each other. I’m not saying that. But I’m just saying back in the beginning, the basics, God made a man and a woman. And he made the woman for the man. And that’s the basic unit of society. And if we’re not careful, we’re getting so far away and off of that, and we’re so focused on everything else that we’re missing out on the basics that God said, “Hey, it’s not good for that man to be alone. I’ll make this woman for that man,” those two for each other. And maybe God says we need to get back to that a little bit.
We’ve got caught up in everything else that we need to get back to this. God said, “Hey, the answer to this is saying those two there together.” Now, I’m not against all the outskirts, if you know, and the extras, but when the extras become the primary, we got problems. And that’s all across America, friends. No, no. God said, “I’ve got this man, and I’m going to make this woman for that man.”
You know, cars back in the beginning days, they didn’t have to have very powerful engines. I can hear it already. I can hear it already. It’s coming from Brother Warren, maybe Brother Kevin, a couple of different men. “Well, Pastor, what was the first car? What kind of car was it?” All right, all right. It was a four—Adam, the first Model A, they say. The engine in it had about an 8-horsepower engine. The Model A, it developed—some of them had 10-horsepower engines—but they only weighed about 1,200 pounds. They would go; they had maxed out at about 28 miles per hour.
But then they began to add so much. Oh, it just slowly happened. The Model T was next. It had about a 20-horsepower engine. It would weigh up to about 1,500 pounds somewhere along there. But they didn’t add so much, you know, more metal, more weight, more comfort, more luxury, more shocks, more power steering. It’s interesting. I was reading the text about it; they said those old Model A’s and Model T’s, they were harder to drive than you think. They didn’t have all the luxuries added to it.
And then you got nowadays, automatic transmissions and the, you know, the radios and the auxiliary and every gadget in the world. I mean, my wife’s car has been driving a little bit here lately, and I want to view a different thing on that different screen, and I’ll push that button. Oh, my goodness, it changed my radio from the phone to something else, you know, and all this different buttons and all the different gadgets we’ve got now, and air conditioning, heat. And I’ve enjoyed my wife’s heated seats. I will have to say that’s been a blessing. I like that, and that’s why I stole it from her here lately.
But all these extras—and cars nowadays wouldn’t make it off of 20 horsepower. It would overload that engine. You ever see two fellas, you’re going to drag race, just straight out, straight race, quarter mile, whatever it is? And sometimes if it’s a close one, you ever see one of those fellas slip out there, and it’ll take the serpentine or the fan belt off? Now, he can’t do it long. The old water pump’s got to be running. But if he needs a quarter mile and it’s not very warm at the time, you know, and he shuts that in, man, he can get a little bit of extra power because he doesn’t have anything dragging that engine down.
And here’s what I’m getting at: The engine in a family, the thing that runs it—I’m talking about humanly here—is a marriage. And if it gets so many extras and it’s bogging that marriage down, that’s the engine that runs that thing. The philosophy in our day and time: kids first, kids first. No, that’s not biblical. No, it was Adam and Eve first. And if I’m not careful, I get so many things in front of my marriage and all these extras that my marriage, or the engine, can’t really function. It’s just bogged down, weighted down. And before long, you might have a beautiful-looking car that looks great to everybody else, but the engine doesn’t work.
Those cars, they might look good, but they don’t look good from behind when you’re pushing on them, you know. Can’t go real far when you’re pushing. The whole legs get tired after a while there. And, friend, I’m saying the basic unit of society is family, and the basic unit of that family is that marriage. You’ve got to keep that strong. Can I say the best thing you’ll give your kids is a good marriage?
I find so often that issues, maybe even with the children, so much stems back to the parents’ marriage. And that marriage, that’s the engine that’s running this thing. And we’ve got to be so careful to say, “Hey, we’ve got to have a good, strong engine, and we’ve got to work at the basic thing that’s running this thing.”
I’ve said this so often when our kids were at home, especially when they’re younger and they take a lot of time. I remember saying more than once, “Man, if a fellow, if he’s working at his marriage, and he’s spending time with his kids, and he’s going to work, and he’s in his walk with God, and he’s involved in church, he doesn’t have much time for all the other.” Man, he’s just busy doing those basics. Did you hear that? Basic things. And if I’m not careful, I’m doing all the extras, or not the basics.
Oh, husband, take time for your marriage. A husband or wife needs time daily, daily. Yes, I’m for a date night, I’m for all that, but daily. You need time to work out issues and problems, at least daily. You need time. It may be you put the kids to bed early. It may be you say, “This is going to be our time.” But you need that when you’re going to sit down and you work at you, your marriage and your spouse.
Maybe it’s God. Maybe part of this COVID-19, God said, “I want to take all the extras, and I just want families across the world, really, to work at the family, the marriage.” That’s the engine that’s running that thing. And if you get an engine that’s weak or faulty, you’re going to have problems.
Now, here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. All right. And I’ve heard all the jokes. I call one of our men—oh, we could go—and several of our men, and they say, “Well, my wife’s not working, and with all this, she can’t work. And so we’re doing all these home projects,” you know, and the guys are a little bit complaining about it and whatnot. That’s fine. Praise the Lord, you get to work on home.
But here’s the thing: when you’re together a lot, maybe God’s bringing us together when we’ve got time to it, there’s going to be some friction. There’s going to be problems. It’s not that you’re the worst Christian in the world. It’s not that you have the worst marriage in the world. Nobody’s got a perfect marriage for you. Nobody’s just got it where everything’s worked out. There’s not a marriage in the world that runs like a fine-tuned sewing machine all the time. Some are better at adjusting, but we’re all human.
And so there’s going to be some of that when we’re spending more time together. And I’m not down on you for that. That’s part of it, but that’s part of a good marriage. A good marriage is not one that doesn’t have problems. No, no. A good marriage is one that learns to work through the problems.
Did you notice that verse number 24? Would you look back there, verse number 24? He said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” It’s often called the leave and cleave principle.
And here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. You’re having more time together, and so there’s going to be potential problems, and it’s going to happen. And so the temptation, when there’s problems, is if you just kind of pull away and not work the problems through. Husband, can I say this? The Bible here says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave.” Husband, you ought to lead in you being close.
It may be you lovingly go over there and sit down with your wife and put your hand on her knee. And maybe you go over there and say, “Hey, I love you, honey, but we’ve got some issues here. I’m not trying to start a fight here, but we need to talk about some things.” And husband, you lead in you and your wife trying to be close. You say, “Well, I’m not a good leader.” I don’t think I am either, but I can try to follow God’s Word. And you work at this, and you lead your friend to be close, and you’re watching for that, and you’re trying to work it in.
And can I say this? Wives, follow. Don’t buck him. Don’t say, “Well, it’s all your fault. All right, we need to sit down and talk about it.” Yes, share your feelings, but let him share your feelings. And let him lead in trying to get you close together again. It’s going to take work.
Husband, don’t do this, don’t do this. Don’t run off. “Well, she’s having a bad day. We’re having a bad day.” And so it’s just, and you’re just gone, and you’re not close. No, no. Now, you might need to take some time apart. I mean, you don’t want the house to be torn apart, you know. And you might need to take some time away to cool off, whatnot. But friend, friend, hey, husband, don’t just say, “Well, I’m leaving her.” “I’ll come back a day or two; she’ll come to. I’ll come back tonight.” No, no. Dwell with her according to knowledge, first Peter three says. And don’t just say, “Well, I’m out of here.” No, no, no, no, no. You married her, and you’re to leave and cleave. You’re to lead in that.
Can I say this? God said—God said, “God knows it’s not good for man to be alone.” You can be married and be alone. A whole lot of people are very lonely that are married. They’re roommates. They share the same roof. They share the bills. They sometimes try to raise children together. They’re alone.
Somewhere along the line, somewhere along the line, they were not willing to work through a problem. They’ve allowed that problem to become a wedge between them. And maybe it’s out of pride, maybe it’s out of ignorance, maybe it’s out of stubbornness, but they’re just not willing to work through their issues, their problems, to get back close and cleave together. Husband, you’re to lead in that lovingly. Wife, no, no, you can’t—you can’t solve all his problems. He can’t solve all yours. But let him lead. All right, let’s try.
That’s a good marriage: leave and cleave. Can I say here there’s some check engine lights that come on, warning lights? How many men and ladies out there say, “I would like to shoot the check engine light in my vehicle”? Anybody out there like that? I’ve been there many times. In fact, I think I’ve got a hammer real close to doing it before. But that crazy thing, you know, you got to get it out to get it through emissions and through MVA, and boy, they’re going to take that away. Many of us are looking forward to that day, you know.
But here’s the thing: there’s some check engine lights in your marriage. If you’re willingly and almost sometimes happily going all the time, you don’t want to be together, there’s a warning light. There’s your check engine light on. All right, we need to work at this thing.
Can I say this? If you’re always blaming your spouse, you make your spouse look bad to your kids. You make your spouse—and it’s always sly stuff. You may have to work at that. You may have said, “No, no, kids aren’t—my wife, she’s the queen of the home. I’m going to treat her like that. She’s first,” and vice versa.
But the kids are always first—there’s a check engine light on. If you can’t discuss problems, we can’t discuss any real issue unless there’s a fight. There’s going to be a knock-down, drag-out fight that lasts sometimes for days. There’s an issue. Friend, these check-engine lights come on. God’s trying to give your engine a tune-up during COVID-19. Maybe he’s trying to work some issues out in that engine, your marriage.
I often have said this over the years: If revival doesn’t go all the way to the home, it’s not true revival. I’m going to add a little bit tonight: If revival doesn’t go all the way to the home and into the marriage, I’m going to leave that between you and the Lord. I want to be what you want me to be in this marriage. It just may be God wants to bring revival to our nation. I rejoice—well, the video that we watched at the end of the services this morning just speaks to my heart—but it’ll start in the homes, individuals in the homes, the marriages.
Now, let’s look at a couple of the things here. We’re going back to the basics here. All right. It was God and man; they had a relationship. We talked all morning long about that. Then God said, “Hey, man, you need a help meet.” All the animals, they got spouses, if you will. The man, you need someone for you. All right, here’s a help meet, designed, created for you. And they got Adam and Eve together, and God says, “We need to replenish the race,” and God gave children to that man and that woman.
Church is a good thing, of course. I’m a pastor and whatnot. School, if it’s a good school, is a good thing. But can I say this? The church is to assist the home in raising those children. And a good school is to assist the home. All right. By the way, a good school will teach them, “Hey, mom and dad, you obey my dad and mom. And we’re going to follow the Lord,” and mom and dad’s leading that way. And you get a good home and a good church and a good school. It’s often, I’ve heard it put like, it’s a three-legged stool. It’s pretty sturdy for those children to grow up in. You may homeschool, and I’m for that too, whatever your choice there is on it. But I’m simply saying God gave those children to the parents. Go back to the basics, all right. The children were born to mom and dad.
Look, if you will, over in Deuteronomy. Let’s just talk for a little bit about child-rearing, just a little bit. Look over in Deuteronomy 11, verse number 19, verse number 19, a wonderful verse. And God here, he says this: “And ye shall teach them your children.” See, speak to the parents there, speaking of them, “when thou sittest in thine house, when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou riseth up.”
Now let’s just take these things here very quickly. First of all, “ye shall teach them your children,” speaking of them, “when thou sittest in thine house.” Do you ever have time to sit in your house? Now let’s just be real about it. The order he gave, he said, “speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house.” Do you eat with your children? Do you all ever have meals together? Do you have family devotions together? Are you under the house, the roof, together?
He’s speaking here of the law and the principles God gave to the children of Israel. And he said, “I want it to be passed down to the further generations.” And he said, “Let me tell you how to do this.” He said, “Speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house.” Parents, can I say something here? Children don’t need all those toys. They need you. Parents should be better off not to spend all your time in the workplace trying to give your children all the things you did not have, and give your children you. Home, together.
When you sittest in thine house, research has shown that families that eat together five or more times in a week are associated with low rates of smoking, drinking, illegal drugs in preteens and teenagers compared with families that eat together two or fewer times per week. Just when families, they just sit in their house together. That’s the time you teach them, parents.
Can I say this? It’s not always in lectures either. They see it in you. And you sit there and you spend time, and you get to know—it’s a shame. I’m shocked sometimes how parents really don’t know sometimes what’s going on in their children’s lives. And I’m shocked. Parents, you ought to spend time. You ought to know that child when you sit in thine house.
Hey, when’s the last time you made it with younger children? When’s the last time you made a tent in the living room and slept in the living room underneath the tent? All right, all right. It’s legal once the children are asleep to slip off in your bed for a good night’s sleep, you know, and then slip back in it. That’s legal, all right, parents, as long as the children don’t know. When’s the last time you played volleyball, kickball, football, or baseball? When’s the last time you went fishing with your kids? When’s the last time you grilled out with your family? When’s the last time you went camping with them? When’s the last time you just spent time, family time together? “Ye shall teach them your children when thou sittest in thine house.”
Can I say this? This is going to be part of it. You’re going to have to discipline them. Can I say this when it comes to this? Don’t nag. Don’t belittle them. Don’t put them down. Discipline them. Take them and take care of business, and then it’s over. Don’t hang it over their head for the next three weeks. No, no, no. All right. “The rod of reproof gives wisdom. Foolishness is bound to the heart of the child, but the rod of correction will drive it far off.” Go over there, send them to the room, whatever, and take care of business, and you’re done with it. And don’t drag it out for a week. And don’t break communion with them.
Listen, when you discipline them right and love, you take care of business when it’s all done. So often, it’s amazing how that child wants to be beside you, be close to you. And that’s proper, that’s right, and you’ve restored that bond. Now, if you just let that thing go on and go on and go on and go on, listen, either you’re going to have to change, you’re going to have to bend to that child. No, no. God doesn’t want you to change that child. God wants that child changing to you. You’re there to raise that child, not that child raise you, parent. And you’re going to have that when you’re spending time with him. And the Bible says you’ll give rest to your soul when you’re going to have to discipline them.
But it gives us this formula. He said, “And ye shall teach them your children.” What do you say? “When thou sittest in thine house.” Here’s interesting: “And when thou walkest by the way,” just throughout life.
I’ll never forget—it wasn’t too long ago, but a couple of years ago, we had rented a cabin. And my wife’s so good about taking care of a lot of the computer work and all this. She had rented off the line and all that and been emailing this guy back and forth and all that. And we thought the bill was paid. And I think it was our last vacation together, all the kids still home. And we thought it was all paid for. And the guy came knocking at the door. Nice guy. We had talked before. And he came, and I could tell something was kind of on his mind still because I believe our last date. And he said, “Well, I thought you’d want to pay the rest of the bill.” I thought the rest of the bill was paid. And somewhere just miscommunication, and they had some flaws in their system they had to work at. And he had said, “Well, my brother does it.” I told about it, and so on and all that.
But here’s the thing: man, the kids were watching. And so I went out and talked with the man. And here’s the thing. I remember this. I told the man, I said, “Look, you know, we didn’t understand and whatnot.” And he admitted they need to work at some things and whatnot. And we had been of just kind of miscommunication. Whoever’s fault, we weren’t trying to go there. And he said he was going to make some changes, though. But I told him this: I said, “If I have to, I’m a man of my word, whatnot. I’ll pay the whole bill.” I said, “It’s going to take—well, I can’t pay it right now, but I’ll pay the whole bill.” And we came in, and of course, you know, everybody said, “Hey, what happened to it?” And I said, “Well, we’re not sure. He’s going to talk to his brother with a work something out.” But I told him, I said, “Well, I told them we just had to pay the whole thing. We’ll just pay the whole thing. It’ll just take us a while. We’ll have to make payments. We’ll pay it all.” And one of my kids said, “Dad, I knew you’d say that.” And when they said that, I thought, praise the Lord. I made the right decision. Now, praise the Lord, he came back. We kind of met in the middle, and I made some payments, but I didn’t pay the full amount that he was wanting, as much more than we were planning on spending.
But what I’m saying is they were watching in the way, and you teach them your children, not just with your words, but so often they don’t do what you say; they do what you do. You teach them when there’s sitting in that house, when I walk by the way, just when you’re out and about with people, how you handle people, how you deal with things. They’re watching. That’s when you’re teaching them. By the way, they’ve got to be with you in order for you to teach them like that.
Oh, I can’t help but mention—we’ve got to hear a little bit—but Little League baseball, it never fails. You tell every coach in the world, “Well, we’re not going to play on Wednesday night, Sunday morning, and Sunday night.” Well, we don’t do that. We don’t do it. Rain-out games always come Wednesday night; we’ll have a game. And boy, I don’t know how many times my children—and praise the Lord, for the most part they do—we’re not going to play ball. It got to the point the coaches would say, “All right, we’ve got to make-up game Wednesday night.” And I’d raise my hand several times, you know, and the coaches got to the point, they said, “I know the Chisgars aren’t going to be here. I know that. I know that.” But listen, it was teaching my children what’s priority: baseball or God? Sports or the house of God? They’re always watching, and you teach them when you sit in your house and you walk by the way.
Here’s interesting: what’s the next thing is when thou liest down? That’s a great time to spend some time with your children, pray with them. My children have seen me more than once as we’re praying before we’re laying in bed and they’re going to sleep, and we’re praying, and Dad falls asleep. Or they’ll say, “Dad, your prayer didn’t make any sense. We knew you’re falling asleep.” But we’re together praying together. Sarah’s 23 now, and when she comes home, and she’s home before she goes to sleep in her bedroom, she’ll come in there, she’s crawling to bed with me and Mom, me and Tammy, and we’ll talk for a little bit, and then we’ll pray together. It’s just a good time if you kind of get close again.
“When thou liest down and when thou riseth up.” And, boy, by the way, that character of getting up—they’re watching Mom and Dad’s example. It doesn’t mean you wake up, “All right, time for your lesson, 6 a.m. It’s it.” No, but they watch over the years, and they’re seeing it. Oh, maybe God’s just saying, “Hey, you need to focus on your children. And let’s kind of lay all this exterior out. Let’s get to the core: your marriage and your children.” God gave those children to you to raise.
One last thought. We’re done. We’re done. I mean, I can’t say we’re going to go to McDonald’s on the way home because you’re home, and I don’t want to talk about what you’re in your refrigerator because you’re probably going to leave and go get some of it. So let’s just stick it out. We’ve got one last thought here. Look at verse number 22. Verse number 22. I love this truth here. Verse number 22. “And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.”
Now, here’s the thing. Here’s the thing I’m after: It’s God that brings you together. “What God hath joined together.” You might say, “Preacher, man, there’s no way for me to have a good marriage. We’ve got so much baggage. We’ve got so many problems. We’ve got so much water under the bridge.” All right, maybe you can’t, but God can. “Preacher, you don’t know. You don’t know the scars we have. You don’t have the wounds we have. It’s just too much for us to have it, and we just kind of gave up on our marriage.” Friend, as long as God’s involved, don’t you give up on it. It’s God that brings you together.
It’s been a privilege, a privilege of mine, to see God save souls and change lives when people get in church and start living for the Lord. And so many down through the years, they’ll say little comments, “Why, our marriage is better than ever. Our marriage was so much happier, so much a better marriage since we’re in church.” It’s called God. God brought Adam and Eve together. God did that.
You seek after the Lord. You get a man that says, “Might have got so many issues. I don’t know how to lead a family, lead a wife. I don’t have that background. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not a great leader, but I want to follow God. I want to please him, but I want to be the husband he wants me to be, and I want to be the father God wants me to be.” And you get a wife over here, she says, “I don’t know how to submit like the Bible says. That’s not in my nature. My past is not like that. I got so many scars, and I get so cattywampus, I don’t know if I can do that. But I want to please God, and I’ll try to be the wife God wants me to be.” You get a man like that and a lady like that, God brings them together. You get a bunch of hurt, wounded, messed-up people, and yet they’re trying to submit to God and trying to follow God. And God said, “Let me bring.” God’s the one that brings you together. God brought Eve to Adam. God did those things.
Hey, friend, can I say this? When you have problems—and you will have problems in your marriage, all of us have problems in our marriage—I mean, I’ve got many black eyes from my wife over the years. I’m teasing, of course, but yes, we have problems. When you have problems, don’t say, “Well, I’m going to go to my friends and tell them,” and don’t go complaining at work about your wife. Don’t go to all your girlfriends and say, “Well, my husband…” Don’t do all that. Go to God. You go, and when you’re hurting and you’re having problems and you can’t make sense of it, go get alone with God somewhere. Say, “God, I want to obey you. And Lord, you put us together and tell us what to do.” And you get a husband and wife that keeps going to God, to God, to God. God brings you together. God does that. God made Eve, and he brought her over here to Adam. And friend, you get God working that thing. God, God can bring you together.
Can I ask—can I just—can I just put this, can I just put it in there? Can I ask: How much time do you spend praying about your marriage? It’s not going to be—it’s not going to be me following all the marriage techniques I know and all that. It’s going to be God. “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.” God brought those two together. Oh, it’s amazing. It’s amazing. You get a man and a lady, the world, and sometimes the worldly counselors will say, “There’s no way it’ll work. Too much hurt, too much baggage, too many—too many wounds. Just separate.” But you get that man and that lady seeking God. God comes in there and says, “Let me weave your lives together where I’m bringing—I’m doing miracles the world can’t understand.” God does that.
There was a husband and wife. They found a painting. They had a little bit of money. They found a painting of Jesus. They loved it. It cost a pretty penny. He said, “We just love it, a portrait of Jesus.” And they weren’t trying to worship it or anything or make it a graven image; that’d be wrong. And so we just liked that. And the—they took it to their house. It was a large painting, and they put it in maybe the living room; it didn’t seem like it fit. They put it in the dining room; it didn’t seem like it fit. They put it in the hall; it didn’t fit. Just put it in the interest; it seemed like it didn’t fit anywhere. They actually hired a home interior decorator, architect type person. Said, “Would you—would you? We can’t find the right place for this portrait.”
And he studied it and he looked at it and he contemplated placement. And finally he came back. He said, “Sir, ma’am, there’s just really no place in your home that Jesus fits. My suggestion would be to get a different home.”
Now, maybe you say, “I need to get God in our marriage, in our home.” And maybe you have to make some changes. But, old friend, you say there’s no hope. There is hope. You honor the Lord, and it’s the Lord that brings them together. People that have just got so many issues, but God—God, he can give them love and joy and a happy home. God brought them together.
Would you bow your heads wherever you are? Would you do that? Just bow your heads. If you’re there with your spouse, I’m going to ask you to do this: If you’re there with your spouse, would you reach out and just grab their hand? Would you hold their hand for just a moment? Now, we’re not trying to act like we’ve got the best marriage and all that. Let’s just let God work here a little bit.
If you’re there and you say, “You know, preacher, I believe God would want to work in our home a little bit, and in our engine, the marriage, a little bit more, and we need to get back to the basics. We need to get back to having a sweet marriage, a priority marriage where we’re taking time. We’re not just roommates. We’re close. We’re cleaving.” And God spoke to my heart. Maybe the hand that you’re not holding their hand with—the other hand—but you say, “I’d like to grow. I’d like for a marriage…” Would you slip your hand up now? Maybe it’s in your heart, you’re raising it. God bless you. God bless you.
Maybe you’re there and you say, “Preacher, I believe the Lord has spoken to me about my childhood. I need to make time, make time to sit in the house, and make adjustments where I’m the kind of dad, the kind of mom God spoke to my heart about their saying a child-rearing. I need to get back to basics. I’ve caught up so much with everything else. I need to get back to basics. I’ve got to raise my children for the Lord.” That you said, “Preacher, God spoke to my heart about this thing, a child-rearing.” That you just slip your hand up wherever you are. Now, I want to be the dad, the mom God wants me to be. God bless you. God bless you, my friend. Oh, how that’s so needed in our day and time.
Maybe you’re a young person there. Can I say this? A child can make things so hard for Mom or Dad, or that can be such a great asset to Mom. Young people, whether you’re a teenager or even younger, maybe you tonight, and you say, “You know, I want to be a help in the home. I don’t want to be always a drag on Mom and Dad in the home. I want to be an asset to them. I don’t want to make it all about me. I want them to have a good marriage. I want to have a good home.” Young people, maybe you’re there. I don’t know your age, but maybe even—maybe you say, “I have a rebellious attitude sometimes.” Whatever, but young people, oh, you’re home. You have a vital part of that home. You’re a young person there. You say, “I’d like to be a better Christian at home.” God spoke to my heart about that. Would you slip your hand up wherever you’re at? You live in a bedroom. Would you slip your hand up? I’d like to be—I’d like to be a better asset to my home, a better Christian in a home. God bless you. God bless you.
Getting back to the basics, it may be one of the reasons God’s allowed this changing the whole world is for us to get back to the basics of home, the family.
I’m going to pray. Would you pray and ask God to bring you together at home? Would you yield to him? Say, “Lord, now you brought them together. Would you bring us together?” Would you do that?
Father, Lord, thank you. It does seem like you’ve given families more time with each other. Lord, it’s been so wonderful to see families together more. Lord, help us to be wise in keeping the basics, the fundamental things of family, marriage. Lord, bless our young people and bless our homes. Lord, I do pray that husbands and wives, wherever they’re at, we just get alone and pray together now, and that home, would you meet with them in their homes, Lord, please? Father, we thank you for what you do. In Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Can I ask you tonight, wherever you are, if you’ve got family there, whether it be just a husband-wife or the children or maybe siblings, anyone, would you do this? We’re going to have a closing prayer. We’re done. But would you at least pray together? Maybe you’ve already prayed together; that’s wonderful. Maybe just a family praying together tonight would be a great thing. And I would love it if in living rooms and homes all over the area, wherever it may be, your families are getting together and praying together. And if you got anything, get that last one. God brought her into him. He brought them together. God’s the one that will bring you together. And let’s pray together tonight. I’m going to get John up here if he would to dismiss us in a word of prayer with John. And it’d be a good thing. Wherever you are, wherever you are, would you just get together? And it may be, it may be Mom and Dad needs to sit down and say, “Let’s go have a walk and talk together.” It may be, now children, put your fingers in your ear. Children, it may be Mom and Dad said, “All right, we need to do something about this. We don’t need to nag. We need to just go ahead and do something.” Whatever it may be, would you just spend a little time with God about your home tonight? And let’s let God make some adjustments in our home for him. I love you, my friend, and looking forward to Wednesday night, 7 o’clock. Keep praying for Brother Larry and Ms. Ritha, of course, Brother Glenn and Ms. Barb also. Let’s pray for the great people. Great. We love them. By the way, if you all listen tonight, we love you all. We’ll be praying for y’all. And Brother John is going to dismiss us at this time.
Dear Lord, Lord, thank you. Thank you’ve given us an extra time with our families, Lord. And thank you, you gave Pastor Chisgar for our families in this church, Lord. Thank you. We can build the church through our families. Thank you. You gave me my family, Lord, and help us to go our separate ways tonight, Lord. Help people listening at home. Help them just have an enjoyable night with their family. I love Jesus. Amen.
Original File: What does God want to do with your Family through Covid-19 - Pastor Chisgar