Three lies Satan tells about families
Category: Family & Relationships
Key Passage: Matthew 7
Speaker: Paul Chisgar
Date: June 7, 2024
Or your right to fix your spouse. Matthew chapter number seven. We’re going to apply this passage to marriage here tonight. We’re just going to really read down through it and pause and preach a little bit and breathe a little bit more than Paul’s and preach a little bit. But Matthew chapter number seven of God’s word, wouldn’t you find that? Would you say amen?
Here are Matthew 7. Let’s start verse number one. He says, “Judge not, that ye be not judged.”
Now, we’re applying this thing to marriage here. And if you want to hurt your marriage, you start nitpicking and looking at what your spouse is and is not doing and judging them. And you’re going to do a world of hurt.
Judge, and there’s a lot of other things you can use in this passage, and the time we have, and it’s very misused many of times in the Christian realm. We’re applying this thing to marriage tonight for just a little bit here. If you want to hurt your marriage, just go ahead and start watching everything your mate does wrong and start nitpicking them and judging them. And you’re just…
“Judge not, that ye be not judged.” Don’t talk about your marriage here. You don’t want to get where you’re fussing and fighting and complaining and miserable in your marriage. Just go ahead and start judging your mate, your spouse, and you’re heading down that road. Guarantee. “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” For with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
Now just go ahead. If you want to have a fuss and fight in marriage, you just start looking at everything she’s doing wrong in your mind and let it be in front of your mind all the time. And I guarantee you you’re heading away. Just go ahead and find out what he’s not doing and start just nitpicking and thinking about it. And you’re heading down the road. In whatever way you judge them, it’s going to come back to you. That’s what the Bible says.
Oh, yeah, let’s keep going to this passage here. And why beholdest thou the mote? I’ve got written in the margin of my Bible there, toothpick. Well, Strong’s Concordance, I think it says like it’s a little haystack is the way he describes it. And just trying to make it real for me and you, I just got toothpick there. Just a little piece of straw, if you will, all right?
“And why beholdest thou the mote, that is in thy brother’s eye?” We’re talking about your spouse, your brother’s sister in Christ, for applying it to your spouse. But consider not the beam that is in thine own eye. Now, I’ve got written in the margin of my Bible there, “four by four.” All right.
We’re looking all after their little toothpick in their eye while we got two by fours sticking out of ours. That’s what it has to do with there. The beam, the log, the four by four. And why? But consider it’s not the beam that is in thine own eye. I guarantee you when you start judging your spouse and nitpicking and complaining and thinking about what all they’re not doing, I guarantee it, you’re far from where God wants you to be. Amen?
And one of the same things is it’s your job to fix your spouse. Probably causes more fights and more problems in marriage than just about anything. That lie right there. Amen.
Let’s keep going. Let’s keep going here. He says, “Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye?” Notice a toothpick out of thine eye. “And behold, a beam is in that own eye.” Notice what God has to say about it. This is how God says it. God says, “Thou hypocrite!”
That’s what God says. God. Now that’s not so-and-so. The Lord says, “You big hypocrite.” Quit looking at what all your spouse is not and what you think you ought to be and what you want them to be. Quit all that and just worry about yourself.
That’s it. Let’s keep going here. He says, “Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”
Now, here’s the thing. If your mind says, “Boy, I’m going to get everything right so I can fix them,” you’re never going to get everything right. You’re a long ways from being right at that point. A long ways from being right at that point.
By the way, you’ve not finished the passage when you’re there. If that’s your mindset, you better keep reading because God has some extra advice to give you before you get rent or you get the big old fight. So let’s keep reading and find out what else God has to say about this matter here. If that’s your mindset, well, I’m going to get everything right so I can get them straightened up. Oh, be so careful because he keeps going here.
It says, “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs.” You know the Bible in more than one passage says, I want the clean and the unclean to be separate. It ought to be different. And so I’m not supposed to go to the holy and come over here to the dogs, if you will. A dog will not appreciate the holy. Y’all with me? And if your mate does not appreciate you coming over there because you got everything right and they don’t appreciate you coming over there and telling them what they got wrong, don’t do it, as what God says. You just watch what he says here. If they’re not going to appreciate it, don’t go there.
Let’s finish out. Let’s just see what he says about it. That’s what he’s talking about here. “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine.” Swine does—they don’t know if it’s a pearl or out of the bubblegum machine, or if it’s bubble gum you picked up off the sidewalk. They don’t know any difference. I used to feed the granny’s pig sometimes.
And if you give them the pig food, corn type food, you know, or pig slop, we used to have that back of the day. That’s the leftovers of the food. You put it to a five-gallon bucket off the kitchen door there. So any of them know what I’m talking about? Sometimes you mix the two together, you know. And then you’ve got to go down there to the pigpen, you know. And many a time I’ve worked down there with a five-gallon bucket, you know, and the trough has turned off the mud where all the pigs are. And so you’re… You think I’m going to be good to these pigs and be nice, going to treat them right, you know? And so you flip the trough over and don’t watch them when you’re flipping it over. They’ll get you every once in a while, you know, those pigs will. And you flip it over, and then you take the water hose and you wash all the mud out of the trough. You get all nice and clean. And then, because you’re being good to these pigs, you know, you’re going to give them this pearl, if you will.
And so then you take that five-gallon bucket and you pour the food in that trough, you know. Those pigs come over there and they take their old snout of theirs, and they flip that trough over. They get that food in the mud and they trample through it a little bit, you know, get it all mixed in with the mud a little bit real good. And then they start eating it. They just don’t eat out of a trough. That’s not their way of doing things. They don’t understand. You gave them a pearl, if you will.
Let’s keep reading here. Watch what he says is going to happen if you give that which is holy unto a dog. And these swine, they don’t understand it’s a pearl. He said, “Lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”
When we think we got everything right and we go to help, “Oh, I got it all right. Let me go help you now.” They’re not asking for your help. They don’t want your help. They don’t appreciate it. They don’t understand you’re trying to give them, if you will, what you think, a pearl. But you go ahead and give it to them. They’re going to trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. And the fight ensues. And the peace of the home walks outside the door because we got everything right, and so we’re going to fix them.
Now, if you truly are humble—that’s the only way you walk with God, humbly walking with your Lord—and they come to you and say, “Hey, can you help me a little bit with an issue?” And they sincerely want your help, I’d advise you help cautiously, realizing, hey, you got issues yourself. But this thing, if I’m going to fix my mate, I’m going to straighten them out—it is a lie that Satan uses to destroy a whole lot of homes.
The best thing you can do to help your marriage is say, “I’m going to keep myself right, the best I can by the grace of God. I’m going to be the husband God wants me to be. I’m going to be the wife God wants me to be. Lord, I can’t make them right. I’m going to worry about myself being right.” I’m not talking about if they’re going and having an affair and things like that. I’m talking about normal marriage issues.
By the way, if they are doing those things, I’m not saying you ought not to take action, but even then it’s not your job to fix them. You can’t. You’re going to be frustrated, they’re going to be frustrated, and they’re going to have a fussing, fighting home. But Satan is going to try to convince you it’s your responsibility to fix your mate. You’re heading down the wrong road.
Let’s look at a young couple very briefly. One thing, many aspects to it, but let’s look at this young couple that’s in love. They’ve got a wonderful home. This is our target. This is what a lot… Anybody like to have a wonderful marriage, wonderful home? Happy and joy. It’s peaceful and happy and joy. Enjoying life together. That’s what I like. I mean, I usually do, but my wife should have got a quick uppercut. Everyone’s why she gets me, you know.
Look over in Song of Solomon, Song of Solomon. Just one verse. There’s many things to their marriage relationship; there is a wonderful pattern over here in Song of Solomon that you can look at. It always humors me a little bit. We’ll tell our young people—we’ve encouraged our young people down through the years—read their Bible through, but don’t read the book of Song of Solomon until you’re married, amen, you know? And it’s for married couples, and it’s a married couple in love. And I’ve been married 27 years, and I hope we’re married for 50 years and still in love.
And let’s look at this couple that’s in love, enjoying marriage. And let’s just see one thing, many things about him. But one thing over here in Song of Solomon, chapter 4, look at verse number 7. Solomon, verse number 4, or chapter 4, look in verse number 7. Notice how he thinks about her: “Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot indeed.”
Now look, folks, I don’t care. She may have been a good wife. I don’t know. The Shulamite woman, I’m not sure, but I guarantee she had some spots. Only one perfect woman, amen. You don’t talk about it. She never walked on water. She wasn’t perfect, you know. But this husband that was in love, he said, “Hey, man, you’re all fair; there’s no spot in thee.” Probably me coming to the closest to helping that lady right there, my wife would be when I say, “You know what, babe? I don’t see any flaws in you. I love you.” If she were to come and say, “Hey, can you help me with this issue here?” maybe a good attitude would be to say, “Well, I didn’t even notice that.” You know, they say love is blind.
It’s one thing to be in love when you’re dating, but after you’ve been married a couple years, you’ve got to work at this thing sometimes. And when you, in your mindset of your marriage, say, “Well, I’m going to straighten them out,” you’re far from being like this young couple that’s in love. Far from it. And Satan gets so many couples fussing and fighting and arguing and trying to straighten each other out, and they don’t help each other; they hurt each other.
Oh, friend. And I’m talking about normal issues here, normal marriage. I’m not talking about huge issues. I’m talking about normal issues here. Hey, the closest you can come is saying, “You know, I’m still in love with you. I choose not to focus on…” Yeah, we’ve been married for years. I understand they’ve got some problems. I know that. And I’m not talking about necessarily me, but I’m just in your mindset. But I’m not dwelling on those things there. I married you, and I’ve seen the good things in you. I want to stay married to you and see the good things in you. I’d rather enjoy marriage than fight marriage. Amen.
And if Satan, if he gets their mind, it’s your responsibility to fix them. And you get in this judging thing, you’re going to get judged. And then you’re going to come along and think, “Well, I got it all straight. I can fix them.” When they don’t want you fixing them, they turn again and rend you, and so goes the fight. You see it all across America.
Friend, I got more than I can handle trying to keep this fellow here right. Must let’s keep her right. I just want to see the good in her and love her. That’s probably her chance. By the way, I’m so glad she sees the good in me. Man, the thing that I needed so much is just a lady that believes in me. I’m so glad she did from the very beginning. And now she knows all my problems, and she still believes in me. I’m so thankful for that. Oh, friend, don’t fall for the trap or the lie of Satan: “It’s my job to straighten them out.” You head down a rocky road. A lot of pitfalls, a lot of bumps in that road right there.
And I’m responsible to the Lord for me. We’ve got to move on to number two. We’re supposed to hit these things very briefly, you know. But lies, lies that Satan tells families: Number one, you can fix it. It’s your responsibility to fix your spouse. Your responsibility is to be right with God, and you respond as God wants you to do the things in your marriage.
Number two. This is just philosophy you see a lot in our day and time, especially when I used to visit more in bus routes. You hear it a lot on bus routes, and just really in the world’s soul winning and wherever you hear this a lot. But number two: “Don’t force your children to go to church.” You’ll hear this lie that Satan tells a lot. People often try to use that as an excuse later on in life: “Well, I’m doing what happened—smoking marijuana—because my parents forced me to go to church.” Don’t you kid yourself, fella. You’re the one that chose to smoke that stuff.
Let’s look and see what God says about this thing. Look at Ephesians chapter number six. Ephesians chapter six, God’s word just lies that Satan tells families in our day and time. I was told by one of the good men of our church the other night, a couple nights ago, about it. He’s such a good man and courageous over this truth. He’s heard the same thing I’ve heard. And praise the Lord, he is a good, godly man. He wants God’s will.
But Ephesians 6, excuse me, Ephesians 6, verse number 4. Ephesians 6, verse number 4. Are you there tonight? Amen? Amen. Look at them and see what God says about it instead of what Joe Blow says about it over there, making excuses for a sinful…
Ephesians 6, verse number 4, he says, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.” There’s a whole lot of that. And that wrath is that inner smoldering. A lot of people have inner smoldering because of what their dad did is what God’s talking about. Anger is that initial, boom, that flash, boom, just, yes, you reacted. Anger, boom. But wrath is that inner smoldering. And a lot of people grow up because of how their dad treated them. God says, “Hey, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.”
But notice how he finishes it up. He said, “And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture…” It’s interesting. Noah Webster’s Dictionary, 1828, it has to do—it has education in there. Strong’s Concordance, you look up that word, has education in there. “Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
God says, “Hey, I want you to bring your children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” What doesn’t the Lord tell us to go to church? Hebrews 10:25, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together.” Look over in Proverbs 22. You’ll know this verse. Proverbs 22, verse number 6. Proverbs 22, verse number 6.
The lies that Satan tells families: He tells you it’s your responsibility to fix your spouse. Well, that’s a lie. You’re going to hurt your marriage just by being right there. Number two: “Don’t force your children to go to church and read the Bible or pray or anything.” Don’t force them to do these things. Well, let’s see what God… Well, first of all, God says, “Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” That’s what the Lord says about it.
Look what he says over here in Proverbs 22, verse number six. He says, “Train up a child in the way he should go.” Help me out. With training up a child in the way, would part of the way he should go be in church? You think so? Sure. “Train up a child in the way he should go.” A lot more than just church is in the way he should go. “And when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Now, that word “train,” we mentioned it not too long ago in our Sunday school class, but if you look in Strong’s Concordance for that word “train,” it has to do with narrowing up. Narrowing up the way.
Let me just, first of all, that’s what God says about it. Let’s just talk for just a second about these folks that say, “Well, don’t force your children to go to church.” That same man or lady that says that, just ask you, would you make your children go to school? When the bus gets up, do you say, “Hey, you’re going to go to school”? You mean you force them to take math? I mean, that’s not too bad, but you force them to take English? Man, that’s torture. I mean, that’s child abuse at best right there. I’ll tell you for me. Somebody say, “Man, come on now.”
That same bird that says, “Don’t force it,” he forces his child to go to school. His son signed up for a baseball league about halfway through, and he wanted to quit. He said, “No, you’re not going to quit the middle of the thing you signed up for. You’re going to fulfill it,” which I think is a wise thing to do. And listen, 10,000 times more important than learning two by two or two plus two is four. Mom didn’t force me to go to school. I didn’t learn all that. I’m joking you.
But much more important than learning vowels and these and commas and semicolons and all that good stuff is learning how to go to heaven forever. Don’t fall for that lie. Now, look, here’s the honest truth as a matter: One day they’ll make their decision. We can’t make it for them. But I like to be narrowing them up in the right way. I like for them to have a whole lot of knowledge about that Book so they’ll know what salvation is all about, how to get saved.
I like for them to know, man, it’s a wonderful life living for the Lord, going to church, serving God. It’s just a good life. I like for them to know the ways of the Lord. I like for them to know what it is being an old-fashioned church where there’s a church family and you come in giving each other a hard time and laughing and joking and having the joy of God. I like for them to know that. Yes, one day they’ll make their own decision. I cannot make it for them. But I like to make it clear in the best way I can that just maybe they make the right decision. I like to train them in it. I like for them to know that’s my heartbeat, man, it’s wonderful to live for God. God’s good to you. Great way of living, living for God. Yes, so they make their decision one day. I’d like to. They wouldn’t have to take too many steps to just keep going around the right path if they so choose, because they’ve been kind of led that way. That’s going to be their choice.
But don’t fall for this saying, “Well, don’t force them to go to church.” That same crowd, sometimes that same crowd forces them to eat healthy stuff. Wow. Yeah, they’ll force them to go to the dentist, and that’s for sure torture, especially when they find cavities in there. I mean, they’ll force them to get a shot. “Well, you got to get that type of shot. You got to get this shot here,” and all these. Got to get a rabies—okay, not a rabies shot, you know. Nah, that’s just making an excuse for us not to obey. Bring them up with the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
I didn’t have any choice. That’s going to go to church. I didn’t have a choice. I mean, I didn’t even ask them. I didn’t want to get in trouble for asking them how we’re going to church. Then I was always happy about it at the time. No.
I never forget Super Bowl Sunday night. Somehow, I don’t know how it happens. Somehow there ended up, a little bit before cell phones and all that, a little bit of portable radio in the men’s restroom at church. It’s funny, us teenage boys all had to use the bathroom in the middle of church that—just separate times. You know, the urge was just there, and, you know, I mean, you know, so is that the restroom, in the restroom, you know? And somehow the radio just happened to be on. And one of the moms just happened to walk right in the men’s restroom at church and called all us boys. Boy, she said, “Y’all get back in there and sit in your seat and listen up real good. I won’t tell your parents.” Man, us boys looked, and we split. We’re sitting in our seats. We’re paying attention to everywhere—at least we look like it. Every word he said, because we didn’t want our mom and dad found out about it. My mom didn’t know about it until a couple years ago when I used it as a sermon illustration. Praise the Lord for it. And she was going to whip me after service that night. I wasn’t always thankful at that time. I’m glad now.
Yes, I had to make a decision one day, and praise the Lord, by God’s grace, I made the right decision. But I didn’t have to step too far this way or that way. Mom and Dad already kind of steered that way. And I’m thankful for it.
So don’t fall for that. Three lies that Satan tells families: Number one, you can fix it. It’s your job to fix your spouse. Boy, it’s a rocky road. Don’t force your children to go to church. Praise the Lord, I was raised on drugs—dragged to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. I’m thankful for it.
And then, number three, three lies—number three, there’s some closer, you’re all—a lie that Satan tells: You’re always responsible for your kids. Now, think, when they’re young, we’re living under your roof, yes, you’re responsible for them. Sometimes some children do some things, and I think, yes, that child needs a good whipping, but mom and dads need to take it out back and need a good whipping too, isn’t it? And I’m all for that. But I’m talking about when they’re older, they’re not under your roof. Here’s the thing. I’ve said it many of times: I’m responsible for how I raise my kids before God. One day I’ll give an account of how I raise my kids. But they’re responsible for what they do with it.
Look, if you will, over in Ezekiel 18. Satan is misusing this thing so much in our day and time. You see it left and right. Ezekiel 18 is a great passage of Scripture God put in the Word of God to deal with this very subject. Now I want you to see it, Ezekiel 18. And we’ll just start in verse number one. We’ll read a little bit lengthily, more lengthily here as far as passages read. Look at what God says about Ezekiel 18. Look at in verse number one, if you would, Ezekiel 18, verse number one. If you’re there, would you say amen?
Here we go. “The word of the Lord came unto me, saying, What mean ye, that ye use this proverb concerning the land of Israel, saying, The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge?” Now, the children of Israel, they were using this phrase, this philosophy, a lot: “Well, dads did this, and so the children can do this, and it’s all dad’s fault.” Does it affect you? Yes, but does it give you an excuse? No.
Let’s keep reading. He said, God says, “I’m going to take away this phrase. You can’t use it anymore.” Verse number three, “As I live, saith the Lord God, ye shall not have occasion any more to use it in Israel. Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sinneth, it shall die.” That guy that’s in jail somewhere and he said, “Well, my mom and dad did this.” It’s your choice. You made a choice; you’re responsible for what you did.
Let’s keep going. Next, verse number five—verse number nine describes a good father, a good man. “But if a man be just, and do that which is lawful and right, and hath not eaten upon the mountains; verse number six, neither hath lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, neither hath defiled his neighbor’s wife, neither hath come near to a menstruous woman, and hath not oppressed any, but hath restored to the debtor his pledge, hath spoiled none by violence, hath given his bread to the hungry, hath covered the naked with a garment; he that hath not given forth upon usury, neither hath taken any increase; that hath withdrawn his hand from iniquity, hath executed true judgment between a man and a man, and hath walked in my statutes, and hath kept my judgments, to deal truly; he is just, he shall surely live, saith the Lord God.” He was talking about a good man right there. Even mentioned some of the ceremony of all. He’s obeying the commandments of God. Good man right there. You get it? Good man.
Then, let’s find out here. He talks about a bad son. Good dad, bad son. Look at this thing. Verse number ten: “If he beget a son that is a robber, a shedder of blood, and that doeth any of these things, and doeth not any of those duties, but even hath eaten upon the mountains, and hath defiled his neighbor’s wife, and hath oppressed the poor and needy, hath spoiled by violence, hath not restored the pledge, and hath lifted up his eyes to the idols, and hath committed abomination; hath given forth upon usury, and hath taken increase; shall he then live? He shall not live: he hath done all these abominations; he shall surely die; his blood shall be upon him.”
Good dad, bad son. God said that son is responsible for himself. You see it all across America: mom and dad may be out of guilt, their son, their daughter, making bad decisions in adulthood, and mom and dad’s always there to bail them out sometimes because they feel guilty about what they were or were not when their child was little. Now listen, you’re responsible. I’m responsible. I’m to the age now—I mean, I’m 25 now, I’m getting older, you know. Thank you, Brother Anthony. He’s holding me to it right there. But, look, I’m to the age now. I realize there are some things I wish I did more of and less of. Far from a perfect parent. And I go to the Lord, and I need to go to bless that. But my son and my daughter, they’re responsible with them. And they can take that and throw it aside and choose to go their own way and the devil’s way, and they’re going to bear their consequences of that. Or they can say, “I’m going to take that, and I’m going to run with that,” and praise the Lord, they are serving God. I’m so thankful for that. But they’re responsible.
Good dad, bad son. Let’s keep going. He follows out other scenarios here. We’re in verse number 14. Verse number 14, here’s a bad dad, bad bad. “Now lo, if he beget his son, and see all his father’s sins, which he hath done, and considereth, and doeth not such like; that hath not eaten upon the mountains, neither hath lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, hath not defiled his neighbor’s wife, neither hath oppressed any, hath not withheld the pledge, spoiled by violence, but hath given his bread to the hungry, and hath covered the naked with a garment; that hath taken off his hand from the poor, that hath not received usury upon them, nor increased, hath executed my judgments, hath walked in my statutes; he shall not die for the iniquity of his father, he shall surely live.” My son had a bad dad. The son says, “We’re going to do the right thing.” That does happen, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Several times in this passage, he says, “The soul that sinneth, it shall die.”
We’ll read just a little bit more, and we’ve got to leave it alone. Oh, I think we’re at verse 17. “As for his father, because he cruelly oppressed, spoiled his brother by violence, and did that which is not good among his people, though he, even he shall die in his iniquities.”
Oh, the lie of Satan in America. “Well, Mom and Dad, you got to bail them out until they’re about 80 years old. You’re 100 years old by then, you know.” Can I say this? Many a time a parent has done a child a disfavor—I’m told them I’d have a grown adult child by bailing them out. More often than not, that child will never learn. All parents, they’re responsible before God. I’m not talking about you can’t help your kids. I’m not talking about that.
Many of you heard him use the illustration of a lady at a church service, and God was working, and God was pricking her heart, and she brought her 18, 20-year-old son down, and you could tell he was rebellious, didn’t want to go down there, and you could tell he’s living just a sinful run. Stop. But she kind of pulled him down to the altar and got him down to the altar there. And she got her son down there, and she wanted a preacher come down here and talk to us. And the preacher came down. She was crying. Boy, wasn’t sending a tear. He just kind of frustrated old brother, “Mom, Mom’s crying.” Oh, ho. And the preacher came down. And Mom said, “I don’t know what I did to make this boy turn out like this.”
And the preacher wisely said, “Ma’am, stop that. Stop giving your son an excuse for doing what he is choosing to do. That boy right there is doing what he wants to do. It’s on him. He’s a grown boy. He’s making his decision. It’s not your fault. You’re responsible for raising him. He’s responsible for what he’s doing with it.” Praise the Lord for that preacher that told the truth.
Hey, according to God’s Word, I’m responsible for how I raised them, but they’re responsible for what to do with it. Yes, there’s not a perfect parent in the world, and yes, I need to go to the Lord and say, “Hey, I messed up a little bit here and there.” And from some time, I’m going to my children and say, “I messed up here and there.” Now, that’s a wife saying to do, parents. It’ll heal a lot of wounds. But they’re responsible what to do with it. They’ll be the one paying the consequences, standing before God over it.
It’s a sad thing when parents, and so often, are hurting their children by God’s trying to get a hold of that child’s heart. That prodigal child son, it wasn’t until he was trying to eat the pig’s food—they actually couldn’t. You read that parable out, Luke 15 over there. And that’s when he came to himself. And if I say, “Well, it’s all my fault,” and I’m always there to bail them out, sometimes they’ll never come to themselves. And you find it all across America, and people up in the years taking care of their grandchildren because of such and such and such. I’m not trying to judge me, but I’m just saying you see it all across America.
Hey, listen, they’re responsible for them. I think of a lady whose son just got out of prison. Oh, my goodness, she’s blaming it all on herself. And had she made some problems and some flaws? Sure, all of us have. I remember meeting her son. He had the tattoo of a tear drop and all those different—you know all those things and whatnot. And, man, that boy is—that’s not a boy. That’s a man. That man is responsible for him. You’re responsible for you. Let that boy go. Read Ezekiel 18.
I think of a family that used to go to our church. They moved away, and there were problems, and the pastor at the time—good man, I know him—and they’re telling me about it. And I didn’t want to go against the pastor, of course. I didn’t know what counts. “Have you talked to him?” “Yes, you’ve talked to him. What did your pastor say?” And they said this: “Well, our pastor said our kids are grown and out of the home. You’re done parenting them. You’re done.” Not that they can’t advise, but you’re done. They’re grown. You raised them. Take your hands off. Let God work it. You’re done." I said, “Well, you’ve got a wise pastor. You’re done.” They’re grown adults. Not that you can’t help and try to steer, but they’re not kids anymore. By the way, the older of the two went a little while for a while, but today they’re married and in church, raising their child in church.
I can think of so many. I think of another sister that was taking care of her sister all the time, just bailing her sister out. She’s just kind of—you ever meet some others? Just family, they always take care of family, family, family, family. And I’m from family, but I mean to the point that whatever their sister did, their sister had children, she took care of her sister’s kids all the time, like she was a mom. And I’ve tried to briefly poke with her about it. She’s moved away in part of it. But she said, “I had to move away. I had to let them go.” And I talked to the sister that always took care of her sister—I mean, paid her bills and everything. Her sister’s outliving a wild life. She moved away a little bit just to kind of say, “I need to let my sister grow up.” I said, “How are you doing? How’s your sister doing?” She’s come to the last couple months at her church one time, and a good girl, really a good girl. By the way, she’s married now, building her own family, praise the Lord.
But I said, “How’s your sister doing?” She said, “Pastor Paul, you don’t believe it.” She said, “About a year ago, she floundered, getting held down a job like it’s been typical for years and years. But she said, you know, she’s held down one job, the same job for over a year now. She’s becoming a manager at her job now. She’s raising her boys now.”
Now what I’m saying is, hey, don’t fall for the lie of the devil that you’re always responsible for them. No, they’re responsible. I’m responsible for how I raise them. And when I messed up, I need to admit it, own up to the Lord and to them. But they’re responsible what to do with it.
And you’ll find that philosophy—all the devil’s using that. But I think, when I put my child—and I got to quit—but when I put my child, I take my hands to the Lord’s hand, that may be the greatest step of faith you can make. God honors faith. God’s pleased with faith.
And I say, “Hey, Father, I’ve made mistakes. I’m not perfect. And I want to be honest with you about what I did and did not do as a parent, my flaws and all that. And I want to be honest with you and with them about it. When I’m taking my hands off, they’re yours. Would you work?” So often when I got my hands on it, God says, “All right, well, let you see how you do with that.” When I had a face it, I’m going to take my hands off. God, would you work? Oh, God steps. He’s got much better hands in mind. He can work where I cannot. Correct my mistakes. Great step of faith. And God’s pleased with faith.
Would you bow your heads tonight? Would you bow your head? Just a little different message. I thought the Lord wanted us to cover these things.
But you’re here tonight. You say, “Preacher, I’m not going to raise you anything specifically about these, but just going to… God spoke to my heart about my marriage. I need to stop looking for flaws in my spouse and trying to correct me. I just need to love.” And God spoke to my heart about that. Or maybe I need to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Or maybe you need to say, “Lord, I’m putting them in your hands.” But God spoke to my heart tonight. That’s you. Not just lift your hand up, preacher. God spoke to my heart tonight.
God bless you. God bless you. Oh, God bless you. That’s so valuable, so important, so important. God bless you. Thank you. Thank you so much. You can put your hands down. Thank you so much. Let’s all stand if you would, please. We’re going to have a word of prayer. And then we’re going to sing, page 300. Have that on the way, Lord. Have that on the way. Let’s just spend some time. Maybe it’s a grandchild. Maybe it’s a neighbor. Let’s pray for them. Let’s put them in the Lord’s hands. Maybe you say, “I only have my children for so long. I want to do the best I can by God’s grace, raise them the way I ought to while I got them.” Let’s go to the Lord and ask him for his grace and mercy tonight.
Father, thank you for your Word. So much wisdom there. Lord, many a time I’ve messed up. And I am—I am a hypocritical spirit. I’ve watched my wife, nitpicked. I’m so sorry, Lord. Help me to be right. Help me to be in love like this Song of Solomon was. Lord, Father, help us, enable us, empower us, and do all you will, but would you give us grace in raising our children in your nurture, your admonition? Father, give us the wisdom to say, “Hey, we want to do the best we can to raise you for the Lord, but you’re responsible.” Grow us in these areas for you. Help us to influence others for you in these areas. And the Lord help us to be obedient to you, our Father dear. An invitation. Well, thank you, Lord, for what you do. Jesus, and we pray, amen.
Hey, nothing will bring just joy and peace to your marriage like you stop looking at their flaws and you say, “I’ve got too many myself.” I mean, I’m just thankful for the mate God gave me. God’s been good to me. Just love them. Just love them, appreciate them, value them. I have to do more to bring joy to marriage than anything. That’s what God wants. That’s this young couple in love. I can’t see no spot in her. Great pattern there. Let’s sing one more verse. We’ll be done.
Amen. Appreciate you being faithful to the House of the Lord on this Sunday night. And it in the Bible, a wonderful book. It’s amazing how it covers it all. It really, really does. A wonderful, wonderful book. And I hear Moses back there. He sounded like he’s doing pretty good. He’s been sick, for what I understand. So, praise the Lord, he’s doing better tonight. That’s a good deal. And that’s great. Glad to have him in the House of the Lord on a Sunday night. That’s wonderful. Glad you’re out. And amen, amen. Praise the Lord. God working in his house. Let’s just keep praying and thanking for what he’s done and ask you to bless. What a blessing, Brother Grady, Miss Jenner. I’m so glad to join their church involvement. They’re a blessing. I love their spirit and great attitudes. We’ve got to get them up here singing again. It’s been a minute or two. And they’re always a blessing. We’ve got to get them up here again. Brother Grady, would you dismiss with a word of prayer, please, brother?
Or say it can’t be here, Lord, you know the needs, Lord. Yes, if you heal, put your healing hand on it, Lord, and watch over the church and bless us with this purchase that’s coming up with the land, Lord, and if it is your will, Lord, be great that your will be done in all things here, Lord. We thank you for that. Jesus’ name. Amen. Amen.
Original File: Three lies Satan tells about families - Pastor Paul Chisgar